leaving children for 6 months

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Sending your children away is a pretty recent development and only generally done by the wealthy, most people's instinct is to keep their children close and has been for many thousands of years.

I do seriously wonder if some people have children because its 'the done thing' rather than because they truly want them.

Eton was founded in 1440, not sure whether it was amoung the earliest or not. And of course, it happened that young men could go to universities earlier. Children were sometimes sent to religious institutions or tutored at home but seen less by parents, often the children stayed at home and the parents went away.

Padstow

FatVonD wrote: »

Nope, private schools have much longer holidays, though not as long as university, my stepson's girlfriend has broken up for the summer already :eek:

I'm interested in which school, as the earliest I've know a school to break for summer is June. Maybe you should check on the school website.

aliasojo

Person_one wrote: »

Sending your children away is a pretty recent development and only generally done by the wealthy, most people's instinct is to keep their children close and has been for many thousands of years.

I do seriously wonder if some people have children because its 'the done thing' rather than because they truly want them.

It's generally only done by the wealthy because it's only the wealthy who can afford to do so!

It's not a case of wealthy people make this choice and your average person chooses not to.

If costs were affordable, I bet more people would consider it then, than the amount that do now.

As for people's instinct.......most parent's instinct is to want the best for their child.

For some, that will mean staying close, for others it will mean a good education elsewhere, for someone else it may mean having a fulfilling life themselves that will ensure a good and happy parent for their child.

As I said, not one size fits all.

Person_one

cleggie wrote: »

PersonOne- how mnay children do you have, and how old are they?...just curious.

You haven't read the thread have you?

As I said earlier, I don't have any, and I don't intend to, partly because I believe that when you have them you have a responsibility to follow through the commitment you made and put them first until they are self sufficient adults. I want the freedom to work abroad or volunteer or up sticks on a moment's notice in the future and that's no longer an option when you have children to consider.

As I also said earlier, I have a niece and nephew who I adore more than I can express, I would be heartbroken if I couldn't see them for 6 months so I don't understand how a parent, for whom the bond must be so much stronger, can happily go that long without their children.

Let me guess though, you're one of those people who thinks facilitating the meeting of egg and sperm makes you an expert on child development and that people who have successfully avoided this have no right to an opinion on anything vaguely related to childcare?

Person_one

lostinrates wrote: »

Eton was founded in 1440, not sure whether it was amoung the earliest or not. And of course, it happened that young men could go to universities earlier. Children were sometimes sent to religious institutions or tutored at home but seen less by parents, often the children stayed at home and the parents went away.

That's recent in the entirety of human history.

Kimberley

Hi Kimberley

A lot of people regret asking for help and advice on this forum because of the negative and judgemental responses they receive. However, this is to be expected on a public forum. You will always get negative as well as positive comments.

I would say if you want to do it then go for it. It is only for 6 months and you could always chat to the children via Skype. You do not know the people on this forum so please do not worry that you will be looked down upon because it is your life. I would not worry what they say, they do not know you and do not know how your life is at the moment.

Also so what if you want a break and time on your own. It is not a crime and it doesn't mean you don't love your kids. We all need a break from time to time and if this trip helps you to better yourself or helps your wellbeing and mental state then it's worth doing. 6 months will fly by and if you still include the children during your absence by skyping them and buying gifts from the countries you visit like someone has already said then i'm sure they will be ok.

Goodluck

cleggie

Person_one wrote: »

You haven't read the thread have you?

As I said earlier, I don't have any, and I don't intend to, partly because I believe that when you have them you have a responsibility to follow through the commitment you made and put them first until they are self sufficient adults. I want the freedom to work abroad or volunteer or up sticks on a moment's notice in the future and that's no longer an option when you have children to consider.

As I also said earlier, I have a niece and nephew who I adore more than I can express, I would be heartbroken if I couldn't see them for 6 months so I don't understand how a parent, for whom the bond must be so much stronger, can happily go that long without their children.

Let me guess though, you're one of those people who thinks facilitating the meeting of egg and sperm makes you an expert on child development and that people who have successfully avoided this have no right to an opinion on anything vaguely related to childcare?

Why on earth are you so defensive? I only asked a question!

And actually, now you mention it, NO i dont think that i am more qualified than you (or anyone else without children) to talk about childcare. However, i do think i am more qualified than you to talk about PARENTING, since i have the experience and you dont.

Oh, and no, i havent read the thread. You obviously didnt read my post, which already said that i hadnt!

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

That's recent in the entirety of human history.

True. Of course, in ancient history young men were often sent to court to train, or tutored away from their parents if not their home. And academia is generally considered more developed in relatively recent history.

Of course, if we are to revert to historical ways chances are most women would not have had much of an education at all, most people cme to think of it. Generally, i am content to look to relatively modern history to establish my family norms and influences

tumbletots

Hi Kimberly 82

I have been following your thread although can't promise I haven't missed something so sorry if this question has already been asked.

For you to post the initial question I presume you have doubts as well as positive thoughts or you would have just gone ahead. What do you see as the negatives if as you say your husband is happy for you to do it and the kids find the idea exciting. Is it the fact that you would find it hard to have no contact with your family?

Whatever you decide it must be right for your family and nobody else can really be the judge of that in my opinion. Whatever you decide I am sure will be right for your family. Good luck with your decision.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

You haven't read the thread have you?

As I said earlier, I don't have any, and I don't intend to, partly because I believe that when you have them you have a responsibility to follow through the commitment you made and put them first until they are self sufficient adults.

Ofcourse, most parents who make different choices probably would also consider this. I want the freedom to work abroad or volunteer or up sticks on a moment's notice in the future and that's no longer an option when you have children to consider.Well, it is, but only if alternatives are considered. E.g. As well as boarding i spent periods of education overseas, moving mid academic year at times. Home schooling or tutoring could also be an option.

As I also said earlier, I have a niece and nephew who I adore more than I can express, I would be heartbroken if I couldn't see them for 6 months so I don't understand how a parent, for whom the bond must be so much stronger, can happily go that long without their children.
but many do, and also love their children and nephews and nieces. If you took that job abroad at a monents notice i am sure your love would not lessen
Let me guess though, you're one of those people who thinks facilitating the meeting of egg and sperm makes you an expert on child development and that people who have successfully avoided this have no right to an opinion on anything vaguely related to childcare?

I am childfree too person one. I don't think being childfree makes your opinion less worthy. I think the way in which you present it sometimes does diminish the points you make, even when i agree with your arguments. I also feel there are many roads to Rome. I don't think there is one right way to educate, parent or live.