leaving children for 6 months

Kimberley82

anguk wrote: »

It seems to me that you've already made your mind up to go? If so all you can really do is prepare the kids as best you can and hope everything is okay. Oh and check your contract with a fine tooth comb to make sure you can get back quickly in case of an emergency.

If the kids have been used to one of their parent's working away it may be easier for them but has your husband been away for as long as 6 months with only phone calls for contact? You need to make sure they know exactly how long you'll be away for, when they will be able to talk to you and when or if they can see you.

I have not made the decision yet, we are still discussing it as a family.

Yes he was away for 6 months with less contact and in more dangorus situation than I will be.

I have checked the contract, as have my fathers lawyers

Welshwoofs

Seanymph wrote: »

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7861762.stm

there you go.

The Archbishop of Canterbury was one of the 'experts' who came up with the conclusions in that piece. I don't think it's any surprise that a church leader is going to promote the 'nuclear family'. Also I see no indication that their conclusions were drawn from a controlled study, instead it seems that they asked 'organisations and children' their opinion.

FatVonD

anguk wrote: »

Feminism has been a double edged sword for women, we've got more freedom, rights and my daughter has much better opportunities than I had at her age.

But once upon a time women were expected to be perfect wives and mothers, now we're expected to be perfect wives, mothers and career women. And if you struggle to be all three you end up feeling like a failure, we put so much pressure on ourselves.

And even with feminism and men being more hands-on in the family I'd guess that in the vast majority of households where both parents work full-time it's still the woman who does the lion-share of housework and childcare. If a child is ill, it's normally the woman who worries about arranging time off work or childcare, it's the woman who feels guilty about being at work away from her children.

Whether this is down to ingrained attitudes or if it's to do with the way we just are (men - provider, woman - nurturer) I don't know.

I agree (although I am lucky enough to have a husband that does more around the house than I do :A )

Although feminism gave us more choices I think my generation was sold down the Swanney regarding 'having it all'. Yes, I've had a good career but it's actually robbed me of the choice to be a stay at home mum because I've always been the major wage earner.

quantumleap

Kimberley82 wrote: »

I have not made the decision yet, we are still discussing it as a family.

Yes he was away for 6 months with less contact and in more dangorus situation than I will be.

I have checked the contract, as have my fathers lawyers

Kimberly,


You say you are still discussing it as a family - I think that's just a facade to be honest. You have very clearly made up your mind that you want to go and are really just wanting to go with everyone's blessing. Your previous post made that crystal clear, so you do need to stop kidding yourself into thinking that you are approaching this in an open minded way.


I'm certain you love your family to bits and wouldn't consciously do anything that was to their detriment but I think, based on your posts, that you want this so much that you are blinkered in the way that you are looking at it. You know the negatives are there but you are not allowing yourself to see them for what they are.


Ultimately you have clearly made your decision so I wish you well and I hope that it all works out okay for you and your family.

Welshwoofs

Person_one wrote: »

WW, as a test, are you able to view this?


http://man-fe.hosted.exlibrisgroup.com/primo_library/libweb/action/display.do?frbrVersion=3&tabs=detailsTab&ct=display&fn=search&doc=TN_sciversesciencedirect_elsevierS0022-3956(10)00215-3&indx=8&recIds=TN_sciversesciencedirect_elsevierS0022-3956(10)00215-3&recIdxs=7&elementId=7&renderMode=poppedOut&displayMode=full&frbrVersion=3&dscnt=1&frbg=&scp.scps=scope%3A(MU_DRL_DS)%2Cscope%3A(MU)%2Cprimo_central_multiple_fe&tab=local&dstmp=1334750848706&srt=rank&mode=Basic&dum=true&vl(freeText0)=separation%20from%20parents&vid=MU_VU1

That's not loading unfortunately

GracieP wrote: »

Ah now see here is where I realise there is no point in talking to you. You don't like the evidence and so will dismiss it based on your own bias.

You haven't given any evidence to back up your point.

Kimberley82

quantumleap wrote: »

Kimberly,


You say you are still discussing it as a family - I think that's just a facade to be honest. You have very clearly made up your mind that you want to go and are really just wanting to go with everyone's blessing. Your previous post made that crystal clear, so you do need to stop kidding yourself into thinking that you are approaching this in an open minded way.


I'm certain you love your family to bits and wouldn't consciously do anything that was to their detriment them but I think, based on your posts, that you want this so much that you are blinkered in the way that you are looking at it. You know the negatives are there but you are not allowing yourself to see them for what they are.


Ultimately you have clearly made your decision so I wish you well and I hope that it all works out okay for you and your family.

I can guarantee you I havnt made up my mind yet, but if you want to think that fine, I am not asking for your approval.

I asked here not so much to get veiws but to see if there were things people would say that would give me ideas, things to think about etc which it has done so I am very gratful for that.

I do struggle to write down what I want to get across, that is part of my learning disability so maybe I am not coming across in the right way but as I said it doesnt matter as the opinions on an internet forum arent really important.

FatVonD

OP, did you by any chance get married and have children very young? This seems like something you should have done before settling down.

I can't really see a cruise ship salon with their typical patrons being at the cutting edge (no pun intended) of contemporary hairdressing and, as such, I doubt it'll further your career at all.

I regularly see jobs in my field based in Dubai advertised where I could earn a good salary tax free but I wouldn't leave my son for 6 weeks, let alone 6 months.

Person_one

Welshwoofs wrote: »

That's not loading unfortunately




You haven't given any evidence to back up your point.

Argh, what a pain. I've found a ton of journal articles about how separation from parents can cause long term psychological damage in young children, but I'm accessing them from my uni network so I can't figure out how to post links that you can see from outside it.

Suffice it to say, it seems that although its not 100% guaranteed that a separation like this will cause problems down the line, the risk is higher than if the family stays together.

Kimberley82

FatVonD wrote: »

OP, did you by any chance get married and have children very young? This seems like something you should have done before settling down.

I can't really see a cruise ship salon with their typical patrons being at the cutting edge (no pun intended) of contemporary hairdressing and, as such, I doubt it'll further your career at all.

I regularly see jobs in my field based in Dubai advertised where I could earn a good salary tax free but I wouldn't leave my son for 6 weeks, let alone 6 months.

yes I was quite young

Having this in my protfiolio will help to give it the edge, I have been doing alot of research into this, spoken to a lot of people working in top salons, people who have gone this route.

FatVonD

Kimberley82 wrote: »

yes I was quite young

Having this in my protfiolio will help to give it the edge, I have been doing alot of research into this, spoken to a lot of people working in top salons, people who have gone this route.

At what level are you currently working in the UK? Would you not consider getting your own salon or taking some management courses to work towards that (maybe that's what uni is for?) I don't know a lot about hairdressing but I do know that the only ones that seem to be making good money are the owners?