leaving children for 6 months

Tiddlywinks

Back in October on a mortgage thread you said that you were the main carer of your children and you said your marriage was shaky.

Also, back in October you started another thread saying your OH had hit you.

In September you started a thread saying your 9yo son was struggling with school and was getting angry and unhappy.

Also in September you were asking everyone at what age it was OK to leave children home alone.

All in all, are you sure that you are not looking for a way out of a life that you are not entirely happy with?

You have have recent marital difficulties and one of your sons is having problems at school - is this really the time to leave them for six months?

VfM4meplse

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Really? That's odd because I also know a few people who've worked on cruises and none of them had a relationship with people on board.

You're always so quick to assert your opinion on others. Perhaps you should reserve judgement until you've been in that environment yourself. What goes on at sea, stays at sea. No-one's going to brag about it when they get back to the reality of life.

Person_one

ognum wrote: »

how many people would be saying don't do it if it was the male member of a partnership.

Men go to oil rigs, forces, merchant navy, trekking etc etc. Are you all saying they shouldn't?

as long as they have good Dad with them they will be fine, it's not like you are not going to be talking with them plus SKype etc

There is a huge double standard, no denying it.

However, I've never understood how those dads can want to be away from their children so much. I can't imagine going that long without seeing my niece and nephew, I'd miss them so much it would hurt and they aren't even mine!

Most 8 year olds would be incredibly distressed to not see one of their parents at all for 6 months when they've always been around up until then. Children can survive almost anything but it doesn't mean it doesn't harm them.

Kimberley82

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Back in October on a mortgage thread you said that you were the main carer of your children and you said your marriage was shaky.

Also, back in October you started another thread saying your OH had hit you.

In September you started a thread saying your 9yo son was struggling with school and was getting angry and unhappy.

Also in September you were asking everyone at what age it was OK to leave children home alone.

All in all, are you sure that you are not looking for a way out of a life that you are not entirely happy with?

You have have recent marital difficulties and one of your sons is having problems at school - is this really the time to leave them for six months?

Yes things were bad, but have hugely improved, my son has come on very much and both our working lives have changed. My children were not aware of our marriage problems and while the will miss me i dont belive it will be damaging, it will not be for another 3 months until the start date

CruisingSaver

OP it sounds like you really want to take this opportunity, but only you and your family can know whether it is the right thing for you to do.

However, are you absolutely sure that the job you're considering is running the hair salon? On the cruise lines that I've sailed with the jobs of Salon Manager and Head Stylist are 2 very distinct roles. Just be sure you're absolutely clear what you're committing yourself to.

Kimberley82

CruisingSaver wrote: »

OP it sounds like you really want to take this opportunity, but only you and your family can know whether it is the right thing for you to do.

However, are you absolutely sure that the job you're considering is running the hair salon? On the cruise lines that I've sailed with the jobs of Salon Manager and Head Stylist are 2 very distinct roles. Just be sure you're absolutely clear what you're committing yourself to.

Yes I am sure I have it in writting

Charlton_Taz

It seems from your posts that you want to do it....so do it! As long as your husband is supportive (and you say that he is) then I can't see it being a problem. You seem worried about what everyone else thinks....well don't. It's your life...and you know in your heart what is best for you, your husband and your kids.

I am guessing a lot of people that replied saying they would never do it, either don't enjoy their jobs as much as you or don't have the same level of ambition as you.....and I don't mean that in a negative way against all the other posters. We all make those decisions in life on how our work/life balances are going to work and they are different for everyone. So, do what your heart says, and don't worry about what other people think.

wik

OP... If your husband and children are happy - go for it, sometimes we have to do things that others frown upon.

5 years ago I spent 5 months working down here in England while my children were up in Scotland with my parents. I did get to see them every couple of weeks - I would scoot back up for 2 nights or my parents would bring them down, I was working - but would spend afternoons off with them (I am a chef)

At the time my youngest was 8 and my middle one 11 and my son who was 13 was away living with his dad. It was hard to be away from them, but we coped - msn is great - hours spent making silly faces at camera etc...lol

Just go for it is what i say xx

becominganobsessivesaver

Kimberley82 wrote: »

I am under no illusions that it will not be a fun glamorous job, I know I could end up working more than 12 hours a day, its not for the life style,

I havnt been offered such a good opertunity on land

I love my family and my marriages is at the best its ever been, yes we have had problems in the past and have been having a lot of counselling I am not running away from my family.

Have you tried to get this sort of opportunity on land? If they want you on a cruise there must be another alternative closer to home - top 5* london hotel or salon, or even somewhere with a permanent base where you can get home if you need or your family can come with you (what about the luxury dubai resorts). If you have been offered this position you obviously have the talent, and could use the confidence from that to pursue a different direction, which could offer opportunities for your whole family.

Person_one

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

All in all, are you sure that you are not looking for a way out of a life that you are not entirely happy with?

Have to say, this is how it looks to me.

Things won't be any better when you come back, they might even be worse.

One of the reasons I won't be having children is because I want the freedom to work abroad in the future. If you have them you have to accept that some lifestyles just aren't open to you anymore. When you choose to create new humans you can't just ditch them when something more fun comes along. Sorry to be harsh, but nobody made you have them. I feel that way about dads who barely see their children too, for the record.