The "I WILL be debt free" diary...

ladymay

Texts have been exchanged, waiting to see when he's free next week now. Still have no idea what I'm going to say to him, but I'm sure I'll come up with some sort of plan...

Had a lovely day at Kew Gardens today with Aunty, Cousins and Grandma. I'd never been before and it was so relaxing being somewhere so beautiful, even with four boys under 10 shared a bottle of wine with Grandma after. We agreed Oscar Pistorius is very handsome.

Off to get an early night as I have meetings in the morning about the Hallowe'en show, then I'm meeting an old school friend who I haven't seen in 10 years! He's now a doctor in some sort of cancer research, don't think we could have ended up in more diverse careers!! Anyway, should be fun. If I get some sleep, which I must do!

Night x

ladymay

So I saw the Actor. We agreed that he just needs to decide what he wants, because neither of us are happy right now. At the moment I don't want to see him but I can't bear not seeing him, it's such a strange, horrible feeling! I have a sneaky suspicion that no matter how he feels, he'll run away Which will break my heart a little bit.

Anyhoo, I'm back to serious budgeting because I've run out of money :eek::eek::eek: I get paid next Friday, thank goodness! I know I probably should have worked more over the summer, but I really needed some time off after everything that's happened this year.

So today I'm heading to the gym (discount website buy), going to the Hunterian Museum (free) with my friend, might treat myself to a Maccy D's (newspaper voucher), then heading to Mr T armed with vouchers galore. I also need to get cracking with writing the script for the cabaret. If I keep busy my brain will shut up, right?

scubaangel

Oh lovely, hearts even when broken a little bit heal, as sucky as it is at the time.

Running out of money is def not fun, but it sounds like you have a plan, and keeping busy should keep your mind from working too much, I know it does mine.

ladymay

Thanks I was talking to a friend about it yesterday and she told me that all my friends have been talking about me and saying I've never been like this with someone before. I wrote a song earlier today. It's called 'If this is what love is', and it talks about all the different places you can shove it

Yesterday ended up being a bit more expensive that I thought. My friend was desperate for noodles so we went to Waga's. It was very tasty, and healthier than burger and chips I guess.

Anyway: plus side - got a cheque through the post today for some mystery shopping work for £19.99 :j

down side: I have to pay for my medical before I start rehearsals on the 17th :mad: I get reimbursed afterwards, but that's not the point - I don't have £80 right now! Just going to have to squeeze it in next Friday when I get paid.

Right, I really ought to do some work today on the Hallowe'en show...

ladymay

Morning!

Busy day today: going to head to the gym before work, then I've got a kids' party, then I've got Hallowe'en rehearsals til 9.

I should JUST have enough to pay for my medical before I get paid if needs be. I just need to spend no money on socialising (my total downfall). I've got to go to the theatre tomorrow which I haven't paid for (£15), so after that I have £30 to last me until next Friday. So as long as I don't buy anything except food and travel I'll just about manage it.

ladymay

Phew!

Managed to get my medical booked in for next Friday :j so as long as I get paid on time I'll be fine woohoo!

I'm at work today, flyering for the classes that I'm not teaching anymore. I'm trying really hard to stay on task, but I think my brain's already checked out Ah well, a muscly man with be accompanying me dressed up as Spiderman, so every cloud.

And my Grandma's out of hospital! She went in to sort out a muscle mishap that was leftover from her hip replacement (they re-attached the muscles in the wrong place :mad:), and they seem to think it's been a big success!! Early days, but fingers crossed...

Oh, and The Actor is now in Morocco trekking up a mountain to 'find himself'. Or something like that.

Right, off to work!

ladymay

Thoroughly grumpified!

Can't stop thinking about The Actor, who is currently wearing his Indiana Jones hat and probably moaning about the heat...

Also realised when I tried to put on some clothes earlier that I have gone up a dress size :eek: this is despite upping my exercise, and I know I'm eating waaaaaaaaaay too much junk atm, I just need to cut it out!

I just really want my contract to start. I'm not busy enough and don't have the motivation to make myself busier right now, but rehearsals start in 9 days and I know that'll sort me out.

Sorry for being a Debbie Downer

scubaangel

The limbo period between finishing one job and starting another always sucks, especially when you're self employed and have to actively find things to fill the time but know you don't really need to.

I won't say forget about the actor, but you can do nothing about him/the situation while he's away and then you'll be gone too.

Glad your Grandma is doing well, mine had hip replacements a few years back, and constantly whines that shes less mobile now than she was before, conveniently forgetting that she refused point blank to go to physio even though she'd loved it at the recovery centre she was in while they finished adapting the house.

ladymay

Scuba, I feel like you're my therapist atm thanks.

And you're right about The Actor - I think the reason I feel so sad about it is because if he wanted to be with me, he would have made up his mind by now, and everyone keeps telling me how much 'fun' (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) I'll have on the ship, and that just makes me feel all icky!

And yeah, Grandma's fine, still sore but determined to get up and running again. I'm heading over tomorrow to make sure she's ok. She lives in a church-run block of flats, and there's a really nice community there so I'm sure she's being pampered! And she's got her physio exercises that she's doing religiously, she's already moaning about not being able to do anything for herself.

scubaangel

If its helping you then its all good, god knows I took advantage of the free 'ears' on here when I was struggling with the ex earlier in the year.

I can understand that, I still find the idea of all that stuff vaguely unsettling even though since the ex finally left I've been seeing other people and thoroughly enjoying myself but thinking about it weirdly bothers me!

Sounds like shes got the right mental focus for it, I'll bet in a few months she'll be giving you a run for your money.