The "I WILL be debt free" diary...

ladymay

Hi,

So: I'm writing the first entry of my diary because my graduate overdraft is at it's limit and I couldn't buy my shopping today without resorting to using the credit card I promised myself I would never use again.

A quick vomit-inducing calculation of all my debts:

Graduate account: £1499.02 (1st £1000 interest free, anything over that 19.9%APR)
Joint account: £342.38 (19.9%)
Credit card 1: £2540.98 (27.9%)
Credit card 2: £3539.94 (19.9%)
Credit card 3: £1734.45 (interest frozen)
Credit card 4: not entirely sure, but around £50 (16.9%)Owed to ex's parents: £6000.00
Owed to friend: £30

So although I'm not sure of the exact amount I owe to people, it's pretty much...

£15736.77

I have a month left to pay off the joint account overdraft before the bank starts sending a debt collection agency after me, so that's my top priority. Luckily I live with a friend who won't mind me paying rent late next month so I think that at least will be ok, although it's giving me nightmares!! It's also my ex's debt, not mine (the overdraft happened due to the rent payments after I moved out) - lesson learned.

I've got the CCCS on my side, and one of the credit cards was happy to freeze the interest and take minimal payments, on the smallest credit card debt I'm only paying £10 a month anyway, but the other two refused to accept my offer. I need to update my SOA (last one was January) and my budgeting, especially over the past couple of weeks has been appalling - for some reason I didn't realise that spending loads of money around my birthday celebrations would land me in trouble - but I'm trying to sort out the numbers.

I really need to sort this now for so many reasons. The industry I'm trying to break into means I have to do a lot of free work, so sometimes I'm working Mon-Fri, plus evenings, weekends and sometimes very early mornings to earn enough money to survive. I want to have fun without being constantly worried about where my food money will come from. I want to be able to afford a holiday.

But mostly, for my health. I had a miscarriage two months ago and my hormones are still flying all over the place, and the combination of my current hormonal imbalance, my parents separating and financial worries is now really taking its toll. I had my first panic attack in 14 years yesterday, and on really bad days I feel like I'm going mad!! I'm scared of going to my doctor because I don't want anything 'mental' going on my medical record (it already has childhood depression on there), but I can't afford private counselling.

My friends and family are incredibly supportive, but no-one knows how bad the financial situation is. I'm so ashamed I'm in this situation and how it's taken over my life.

I don't really know why I've started this, other than I've seen this site help people before, and the knot in my stomach has gotten a little looser. I also don't know if I'm looking for a sympathetic ear, practical advice, a place to vent or all of the above.

I just know I don't want to carry this alone anymore.

Hovel_lady

Hello ladymay and welcome to diaryland :wave:

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time of it at the moment.

Don't be ashamed about the debts you have.
You're doing something about it and that's all that matters.
As your friends and family are supportive maybe you need to think about talking to them. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to carry all this without their help.

Lots of lovely people on here so don't think you're alone.

*subscribes*

ladymay

Thank you so much Hovel lady.

I feel a lot better now. It's so much easier to be honest anonymously and it's funny, I'm a very open person about how I feel and what's going on in my life, but I can't bring myself to talk to the people I love about this. Maybe one day though...

It just all started so stupidly. When I turned 18 my bank practically threw a credit card in my hand (I'm pretty sure they even helped with the paperwork in-store), then when I moved out of my parents' and lost my job I used my credit card to stay afloat rather than go back to my mum and dad with my tail between my legs. I've never paid off that CC, and have only added and added and added to the debt. I just assumed one day I'd pay it all back, no problem, when I got a job with a great salary - what was I thinking??

When I think about how my financial story got started it makes me think about how we had no financial education at school. I'm so glad that's changing.

Hovel_lady

Yes, I agree that financial education in schools is essential.

Definately easier to be honest anonymously.
You should see some of the waffle in the diary I used to keep :eek: :rotfl:

I remember my first credit card. With a £250 limit. I thought I was rich

If you wanted to put up a SOA (statement of affairs) here or on the main DFW board people might have ideas for savings etc.

ladymay

I'll try to post a SOA up in the next couple of days.

It's my grandma's birthday tomorrow, and I got given some department store vouchers for my birthday that I can use for her pressie - what to get her though...? May have a mooch around town before my audition... After the audition I'm staying at hers like I did when I was a kid hehe because I'm working in her area tomorrow. Is it sad that I'm really looking forward to this?

Almost a NSD today, but had to pop out for milk, so £1.25 spent.

I get paid by one of the companies I work for tomorrow, and the interest on my O/D comes out tomorrow too - if the interest comes out before the wages come in I'll go over my O/D limit, really hope this doesn't happen so I don't get charged...

Alleycat

Hi Ladymay, I agree with the writing of a diary. It does really help to write it all down, even the really boring stuff (aka my diary!).

I don't think it's sad that you're looking forward to staying with your grandma. It's obviously somewhere you enjoy being and it's lovely to have family you enjoy being with. Hope she has a lovely birthday!

Re the overdraft, how much is the interest? Is there any way you could scrape together enough change to cover it? Maybe contact the bank tomorrow morning and explain the situation re your wages, they may decide to be generous, stranger things have happened!

Anway, good luck. I've subscribed so will look forward to updates from you.

Hovel_lady

Not sad at all.
I used to love staying with my grandparents both as a child and an adult.

Hope the audition goes well and the pay goes in before the interest goes out.

ladymay

Alleycat,

Hello! Thanks for subscribing.

I've shifted over the little that's in my savings account, but again just hoping it'll go in before the interest goes out. But I'll call the bank in the morning and let them know the situation, as you said, you never know, they might be nice! They've been quite fair in the past, especially compared to some of the stories I've heard about other banks. Thanks for the suggestion.

And you're right, it's not sad at all. I love spending time with my grandma!! Will probably spend the evening eating enough for 4 people while watching Rodgers & Hammerstein classics :T

Wow! Really tired. Clearly the banana and hot milk trick worked!! May be on to a winner here...

Night x

ladymay

Whoop! Wages came in before start of business today so I didn't go over my O/D limit - phew!:o

I figured I needed to tidy my room before doing my SOA - tidy place, tidy mind and all that...

Alleycat

Hurrah!! Came on specially to check and really glad I did. One big weight lifted I bet!

ladymay

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 0
Number of cars owned.................... 0
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1167
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 0
Total monthly income.................... 1167
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 400
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 25
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries ......................... .... 50
Clothing................................ 10
Petrol/diesel........................... 0
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 0
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 171
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 17
Haircuts................................ 6
Entertainment - nights and meals out.... 115
Eating on the hop....................... 31
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Child Trust Fund........................ 0
RAC..................................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 825

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 0
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 0

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
O/D ...........................1436......17...... .19.9
Joint Account ...............342 ......342.......19.9
Barclaycard CC.................1734..... 1 ........0
MBNA CC .....................3540......88........19.9
HSBC CC ................2541......67........27.9
Halifax CC ..................50 .......10........16.9
Owed to Ex’s parents...........6000......0.........0
Owed to friend................ 30 ......0 ........0
Total unsecured debts..........15673.....525.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1167
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 825
Available for debt repayments........... 342
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 525
Amount short for making debt repayments. -183
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 0
Total HP & Secured debt................. 0
Total Unsecured debt.................... -15673
Net Assets.............................. -15673


This is all based on March, as I wrote down everything I spent for the entire month, and March is a pretty typical month. I'm pretty sure the money for presents is wrong (it's probably a fair bit more), but I've noticed a few things:

• If I spent more on food shopping, I would end by saving because I spend too much money eating on the fly (i even put it in it's own category!)
• I spend WAY too much on nights out, and although I allocate a budget for this, I always blow it!!
• Once the joint account is done, I should be able to start paying back everything properly. I'm not sure if it's worth defaulting on my MBNA CC just for this month to get the O/D settled once and for all? It would be a great weight off my shoulders, partly because the bank are hassling me daily, and partly because it means that my ex has no influence any more. I still owe money to his parents, but they're SO much nicer than he is

There's not much I can do in the way of bills as most are included in my rent, and considering I'm in Zone 2/3, £400 all in is pretty good!

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated...