The "I WILL be debt free" diary...

ladymay

Well I feel better after my numerous salt water gargles today *vom*. Still really tired but hoping I've stopped it turning into anything nasty.

And my brain is gradually getting back into rehearsal mode. The blank bits are getting shorter :j

Right, I'm off to bed early (again), hopefully I'll be back to normal in the morning!!

scubaangel

Yay to reductions in blank bits!

Hope you're back to full speed in the morning. x

ladymay

I could kick myself, I really could...

So, I joined a ship in November to work as a singer. I was being paid well, with very few outgoings, for 8 months.

How much did I take off my debt total?

JUST OVER £2000 :mad:

I have also gained half a stone, despite having a highly active job.

So - what do I conclude from this? Clearly I need some discipline!

Discipline is not something I've struggled with in the past. During my final year of uni I was forced to leave classes when I had food poisoning by my lecturer because she thought I was pushing myself too hard. When I worked in a gym I would quite happily work out 5 times a week.

And yet I'm having to find work in my time off the ship because soon I will run out of cash and have to go into the overdraft that has cursed me for years.

The way I behave at the moment means that basically I do things that I KNOW I will feel bad/stupid/angry about later...

SO, what am I going to do?

FITNESS:

There really is no excuse for not being in good shape, my job demands it and I'm a qualified gym instructor. I know what I have to do and something within me is choosing not to do it. There's a new council leisure centre in my borough that looks lovely, going to check that out tomorrow. And I'm going to take my kit with me incase they offer me a free trial there and then My new contract starts at the end of October, so I have two months to sort myself out.

MONEY:

I've done a few things already.

I've discovered Top Cashback and have earned some money going on the gambling websites, mostly through cashback deals, but I've won a bit too. Probably not something that's recommended, but luckily I don't actually enjoy gambling so as soon as my cashback comes in I'll be de-registering, and I made a rule that as soon as I won twice on any particular site I'd take my money and run, which I've 100% stuck to. I'm also going to check the site EVERY time I need to buy something online to see if I can get some cashback.

I've also picked up some work from my old boss, just a few hours this week, but starting from September I can get regular work doing kids' parties again until I head off for rehearsals.

My tax return is sorted! I'm now very pleased I was on emergency tax until April, it forced me to save money I can't claim any of it back yet though. To get my Seafarer's tax rebate I have to wait until a year after I joined the ship, so come November I'll be cashing that baby in.

You know what? I feel better having written that all down. My financial situation isn't something many people know about, and NOBODY in my life knows just how much debt I have, or the pickle I managed to get myself out of last year. I think the reason I don't talk to anybody about this is because, quite frankly, I'm ashamed. And the only way I can stop that feeling is by buckling and getting on with changing it!

I mean, there are so many things I want to do/have (in no particular order):

• Babies. Babies. Babies babies BABIES!! I'm 28 and my bodyclock is RAMPANT (just don't tell my BF :rotfl:)
• A wedding (again, don't tell the BF. He's quite new and these don't necessarily apply to him. Although they might. He 's very nice. But it's early days!)
• A house. That I own.
• I'd love to go back to uni, either to do my PhD, or study something completely different that's always fascinated me, like ancient history.
• New gadgets. My computer's old, my camera's old, my phone's old. I'd like to replace them without getting into more debt.
• Savings. I have NEVER had savings.
• There are other things, but these spring to mind.

As I said, I don't feel able to share this with anyone in my life, but I'm not sure I can do this on my own. So I'm asking for your help. Any tips, pointers, words of encouragement and cyber hugs would be wonderful. In return, I will try and do the same for you.

Well, it's been a while since I trawled through the MSE forum world, so I think I shall spend my Saturday evening there

LM x

ladymay

Morning!

Feeling a lot more positive today

Off to Southampton today to see a friend, water and train snacks are packed so I have no need to buy anything at Waterloo, and I'm walking the 5 miles in to get some exercise in.

Staying with my friend tonight, then the BF's ship gets in tomorrow so I get to see him :j:j:j It's only been a fortnight since we saw each other last but I miss him like mad!! Lord knows what I'll be like next year when we're on different ships...

I spent quite a lot of last night reading people DFW Diaries, looking at people's first and last pages, and how much progress people have made, is so inspiring!!

Right, best go finish off packing my rucksack!

LM x

scubaangel

Welcome back ladymay, so good to see you back and sounding so positive!

Am off away on holiday myself today so will be back to catch up with you when I get back.

ladymay

Hi SA!! :wave:Look forward to hearing about your holiday.

So, Southampton was lovely, got to see a good friend and her parents and got a precious few hours with the BF :j The time went far too quickly though, and I was off the boat again before I knew it. Seeing him next when he gets off on 20th September, and I get him all to myself for a few days before we head over to his in Ireland for a week. Can't wait!!

Off to Devon tomorrow for a week to see Mum and the little Brother (I say little, he's 6'2"!), and to meet Skye, their new dog! Very excited to meet her, I plan on taking her on lots of walks in the woods near our house so we can both get lots of exercise!!

In a bid to sort out my £££'s and my lb's , I'm going to do good old fashioned spending and food diaries. There's nothing like writing stuff down to make you :eek:! I've decided I'm going to try the 5:2 diet for a couple of months and see how I get on. Bought the book by the Horizon guy on my e-reader yesterday for inspiration. Fingers crossed!!

Also, totted up my Top Cashback earnings, minus the payouts, but including my winnings... £388.71!! At least part of that can go on my HSBC CC

Early night for me tonight I think, managed to walk back from Waterloo today, I'm pooped!

Night! LM x

ladymay

So much for my early night

Got reading lots of DFW Diaries and totally lost track of time. Also had a look at the Debt Free Roll of Honour for some inspiration, I want to get on that!!

I've decided I'm not going to give myself a hard time anymore about what I spent in the past 9 months on the ship. Could I have paid off more? ABSOLUTELY. But I've taken nearly £4000 off my debt in 16 months, which is something I'd never have thought I'd be able to do two years ago, and progress is good!! I need to use this to spur me on.

I CAN DO THIS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

ladymay

I've been reading through some of my posts from last year, and now I'm balling my eyes out. While I was on the ship in April my Grandma was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and she passed away in June. Luckily I was able to get off the ship in time to spend her last few days with her.

Not sure if I should be posting on here about this, but it's midnight, I don't want to wake anyone up. And screw it, it's my diary

I really miss her.

ladymay

Morning.

Sooooo, last night was pretty rough, not much sleep and I have very puffy eyes

Feeling better today, off to Mum's for a week, looking forward to being looked after for a week!! Starting the food and spending diaries today as well - wish me luck!!

ladymay

Awwww, dang it!

MP3 charger cable just broke. Great start to my money diary