Is this abuse?

joannaspanner

yeh, what next? Accidental rape?

GET

OUT

OF

THERE

beautiful_ravens

!!!!!!. Get out of there! Quickly. You are so lucky theres no kids involved and you can just go. I know its weird. All you need is your important personal documents, clothes, handbag, dog [and deleted internet history]. Thats all.

Butterflymind

Dear all

Thank you again for your comments....

I'll explain, and ask you for your more objective comments:

Had huge row with OH and confronted him on everything. Denial all the way from him, even though I can prove he told me about hernia's on day my aunt died. Half-hearted apology 'If it happened, and I can't remember it, then I apologise'. I aksed for divorce. He said he felt gutted and we could work it out.

I felt 100% better, got rid of angry, frustrations, etc. No barriers anymore, communicating with each other. Wondered if we could work through this...

Walking on park few days later, me, OH, dog. No-one around. OH throwing ball (hard, rubber, solid) for her & she's retrieving it.

Suddenly he turns and rams ball into my chest so hard I double over in pain. He walks on, throws ball for dog, as if nothing happened. I confront him, he says it was sorry it was an accident and the ball slipped, but can't stop grinning at me.

Confront him again, he says ball hit me, not him. Yet I know he still had it in his hand when it hit me.

My heart is saying it is an accident, he didn't mean it, he apologised.

My head is saying he did it on purpose in such a way so he can deny it. Tried throwing ball same way over hand, have to plant feet firmly & lean back and put body into it. Even if he stumbled, reaction would be to force arm down, not across someone else....?

So, I am beating myself up emotionally after he did it, and had to block it out just to carry on. Slowly coming out of denial now....

What do you think?

BM

joannaspanner

are you just making this stuff up now?

Butterflymind

Dear all

Said I would update what's happening and I have.

Feel I am doing positive things to help at last....

Unfortunately JS, this is what has actually happened, and I am struggling with denial to block it out.

Sounds easy to walk out phyiscally doesnt it? But walking away emotionally, and wanting to believe he doesn't mean it is hard, as I still, stupidly have feelings for him and don't want to believe its abuse.

Can't deny it now, saw WA keyworker and she said it is subtle emotional abuse, until he punched me....

Wish to god it wasn't real, that I wake in the shower and it's all a dream, hard to face....

BM

joannaspanner

So he's punched you and hit you hard in the chest with a ball and you doubled up in pain because of this, god knows what he will do to you next.

thorsoak

Oh yes. And will the day come when he "accidentally" stumbles into you whilst holding out a chef's knife???? And yet still you stay with him????

Sorry - this thread is becoming totally unbelievable.

Just pull the other one - it has bells on it!

joannaspanner

Butterflymind.... Your original question and thread title is.........

'' is this abuse?''

After 658 posts and over 56,000 views, the answer is YES

HeatherintheHills

What is your WA keyworker's most recent advice to you?

podperson

BM - I really don't know what else people on here can say to you. Your excuse before was that 'at least it wasn't physical' - now it has become physical you're still making excuses. Why, because he said it was an accident? Be honest with yourself at least, you know that's not true - how would it even be physically possible for someone to turn around and ram a ball into someone's chest with enough force that they double over 'by accident'?
What is it going to take for you to leave him? A broken bone next time, internal bleeding, worse?? Or will that be ok as well if he claims he didn't mean to do it? Because now he's hit you the first time and in his eyes has 'got away with it' because you're still there, then you can be sure it won't be the last time.