Is this abuse?

Suspiria

Another thing. Op have you heard back from womens aid yet? I cant understand why they wouldnt have got back to you. I have had truly amazing help from them after i recently got out of a horrendous relationship (yes i know i asked for advice on getting over a broken heart on another thread, but i feel so good now that i cant believe the way i thought i felt such a short time ago. I realise now that it was my emotions coming out after going through so much!). The womens aid have been completely on the ball for me, they ring me when they should and are discreet and i KNOW that they take every case seriously. They supported me through the court case against my ex, and the help and support they have given me both before the case and still now, and in so many ways is immesurable!

Butterflymind

Dear all

You are all right. I am making excuses and being a coward.

I have taken some baby steps, contacted WA, checked my mobile every day and they haven't rang back.

I am going to ring them when they are back in their office. I am going to their freedom course to get it in my thick skull what is really happening.

I apologise if I have upset, offended or angered people on this thread. That is not what I want.

Just needed to talk to people about it....

I realise now I shouldn't do this on an forum which is for money advice, I was already posting a bit on other threads, so I thought as people were so helpful it would be ok. I should focus on WA site instead, where they understand why daft women like me stay.

Feel I have brought people's anger and frustration on myself by typing about what is going on in my life but not having courage to leave. I hope it doesn't put any one off sharing their experiences on here for fear of harsh judgements, but, hope they will go to WA site instead for support.

I won't post on this thread anymore, but, please do not worry as I will on a more appropriate site...

I want to thank everyone who has supported, worried, encouraged, advised, given me tough talk, boot up bum, posted web-sites, etc. You shouldn't be worrying, should be helping people on their finances instead....

Thanks again

BM

kelpie35

Seems rather strange to me that the OP is now managing to post very regular ................. or am I being rather cynical?

Mojisola

Butterflymind wrote: »

I realise now I shouldn't do this on an forum which is for money advice, I was already posting a bit on other threads, so I thought as people were so helpful it would be ok. I should focus on WA site instead, where they understand why daft women like me stay.

If you look at the other threads on this particular board, there are plenty about family and relationship problems so it was okay to post here.

I would rather you did update this thread - it's always nice to know how things turn out.

HeatherintheHills

BM, I just don't know what to say to help you any more. I'm no longer sure you want help.

So many people have opened their hearts and bared their souls here in the hope of helping you see the light. Yet it often seems as if you have not even read their posts. It feels like scattering seed on stony ground to be honest.

Now, when people are reacting strongly because they feel you are in in the greatest danger, when you are putting your dog in danger too, you say you are no longer going to post here?

You are playing with us lady.

londonsurrey

Saying that asking for help on here is the wrong place because it's a money saving site is an attempt to excuse yourself whilst being plain insulting and belittling all the help that has been given on this board to the members of its community.

Many of us have helped and been helped and held through difficult times which had nothing to do with money.

We are not going to say what you want, which is to agree that poor you is excused for putting the dog at risk.

Aesop

BM, it is not that people don't believe you,. It is more those of us who have never been in an abusivr relationship, don't understand why you have not left yet. Those who have been in abusive relationships understand you better, they understand why you cannot just walk away and why you have brought your dog back into the family home.

To be honest, as.much as we want to know you are safe and away from him, you are probably better off posting on Wr forums, as you rightly said, there they understand you and what you are going through and why it is so hard to leave.

We don't mean to sound judgemental and harsh, we want you to be safe.

Excuse spelling mistakes, typing on phone .

Butterflymind

Dear all

I honestly am not belittling or insulting anyone. I am apologising, and taking the good advice I have had on here, and finally following it as I have said, bar the final step.

I have read every post, but cannot reply to you all, tried to thank you all (even tho thanks button doesn't work).

I know it may well be a foolish and selfish action to keep dog here. I am doing everything to look after her.

As I said before, just talking to people here has really helped to give me impartial advice & lots of it. I am sorry its frustrating people as I am travelling at snail pace.

I will post on WA site, as it is upsetting and worrying people here. But I will post update when I have done something positive to let people know who have taken the time and trouble & posted their thoughts and sad experiences on here.

Please do not worry. OH is, as I said, laying off at the moment and not checking as much, and I am still taking the tablets/counselling. I do feel stronger than I did, and I know in part that everyone on here has helped. And I promise you all I will finally get back to WA...

I just wanted to say thank you to you all, even the harder comments I have read, which I know I deserve.

Kind of finding it hard to handle those at the moment ...

BM

Mojisola

Aesop wrote: »

It is more those of us who have never been in an abusive relationship, don't understand why you have not left yet.

It looks so simple from the outside but it's really hard to leave an abusive relationship.

Hiddenidenity

Thats the point, people on here including myself have been in that situation. I know how hard it is to leave. What we are telling you is in my case it took me to being hospitalised several times and him being sentenced to make me leave. If I could turn back time Id have got out of there BEFORE it got that far, before he made me lose a child, broke bones, caused hospital treatment, caused me to lose my family, friends and everything else. We are trying to help you to make you realise, it WONT stop and they NEVER change.

Hope you see sense and do the right thing.