Is this abuse?

[Deleted User]

Im sorry OP that must have sounded very unfeeling, i have been following this thread but didn't have anything further to add than what has been said. I wish you well though and hope your plans lead you to safety.

Stay strong and if in doubt re: clearning internet history we'll both be enlightened soon.

thehappybutterfly

Butterflymind wrote: »

I still haven't got to a bank yet. OH seems to sense something, keeps coming home earlier and earlier, splitting his lunch break into two parts. Never know when he's going to pole up.

OH is being so nice, brought home a garden ornament, fussing dog, hasn't been horrible to her at all. Even been pleasant to me, hasn't criticised, gone on about past things I can't remember, or anything like that. I feel incredibily guilty for getting stuff together in case I go.
Classic behaviour

Even had the thought it would be easier if I should just change locks whilst he is in hospital, and arrange to put his belongings in storage, so he has no need to come back... Felt like I am being over the top though... He won't be able to move much when he's had it, and is expecting care from me, not eviction.... Think that I am being way too mean spirited if I do that.

Besides which, wouldn't put it past his family to turn up on door step and get aggressive about it, and find myself shoved out with nothing. Still, at least I would be out of the situation then...

All the stuff we have, it's just things, feel like I could walk away from all of it without a backward glance, even china I've collected... Because it's all a reminder of him, the past. Crazy I know.

Have to go, keys in the door.

BM

Personally, I would be the one to go. While he's in the hospital, I'd pack my stuff, get my wee dog's stuff together and leave him to it. Not because I think he deserves to stay but because he sounds so unreasonable you might never get another chance. It's what I had to do - my ex would stand in front of the door with the wee one in his arms and I'd be helpless. I ended up ending the tenancy on the flat (it was in my name only) and securing another private tenancy as there was no way we could split up in the normal, adult fashion - he wouldn't allow it.

I feel sick thinking about how bloody awful it will be for BM when her man gets home from hospital. Like a prison sentence.

Wellyboots6

If you press Ctrl and H then your browsing history will pop up. There should then be an option to clear your browsing history.

This is how I do it, but if anyone else knows any different then I'm sure they will let you know.

If you do clear your browsing history, it might be worth having a few 'innocent' websites that you can quickly go to afterwards so that if he were to check your browsing history then it won't look like you are obviously hiding what you are looking at.

thehappybutterfly

katy721 wrote: »

If you press Ctrl and H then your browsing history will pop up. There should then be an option to clear your browsing history.

This is how I do it, but if anyone else knows any different then I'm sure they will let you know.

If you do clear your browsing history, it might be worth having a few 'innocent' websites that you can quickly go to afterwards so that if he were to check your browsing history then it won't look like you are obviously hiding what you are looking at.

The things you do to cover your tracks...... I recommend this wholeheartedly. But please don't stop posting on here BM or we'll all be worried sick. Just be careful. Keep something innocent like BBC News in one of your tabs so you have something on the screen to look at if you need to quickly close a page.

[Deleted User]

Good point about creating a false history, as long as the OP's husband isn't an IT expert. He could go into the background of the pc and do searches from there. Deleting the history doesn't mean deleting it from the hardware.

I rememeber my DH showing me years ago about how to delete that kind of information, but i can't recall it now. If anyone needs to know i'll ask him.

diggle

Dear BM,
So glad to hear you are making sound plans for your future and your little terrier,just keep believing in yourself and what you are doing .it is all healthier steps to a better life for you and your little terrier.
oF course it will be hard to start a new but hopefully your redundancy money will help and I reckon your immediate family will rally round to help all they can.
How many chances can you give someone who seems for all. Intent and purpose to undermine you at every opportunity?
If you can remain strong and leave do not feel bad he has family too and they will have to step in to assist him ,even if they may not want to.
Take care,.

sassyblue

Seen your latest updates BM, your hubbies behaviour is completely outrageous and NOT NORMAL!!!!! Take if from us if you don't believe it.

I so wish l could give him a slap, nasty little bully.

Lady_Tara

BM only just seen this thread, but I want to wish you well, and please do get out. Its better to be single than live with someone like that. Please take care, you are worth so much more, believe us x

thehappybutterfly

Butterflymind, are you around? We've not heard from you in a couple of days. Just hoping everything is ok..... Not that I'm a stalker.

Melonade

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

Butterflymind, are you around? We've not heard from you in a couple of days. Just hoping everything is ok..... Not that I'm a stalker.

Probably not easy to post on a weekend due to her OH being off work. At least thats what I'm hoping.