Birth Mother

pavlovs_dog

I get so excited every time this thread shows up on my user control panel. Such a heartwarming story.

seven-day-weekend

Meeting is on October 25th, at Aunt's house.

whitewing

Lovely to have a date. Best of luck SDW, and hope you get plenty of contact in between times.

chipmunk

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I was reading some old threads on MSE the other day and in one was a link to a site where adopted people could put in details of anyone they wanted to find. Just on a whim, I put in the few details I had of my birth mother. I was adopted as a baby in 1950.

Anyway, I think I have found her!:eek: We have an address and a phone number.

I'm pretty sure I have the right person, she is still alive and in her 80s. She had no more children and her husband has died.

Not sure what to do next, but as my husband says, she is an old lady, so don't let time take the decision out of my hands. At the very least I would like her to know that I have had a happy upbringing, a happy marriage of forty years (I have been married longer than she has!), that I understand totally why she had me adopted and that she has a grandson aged 32. Also that I am a Christian, as it was important to her for me to be brought up C of E (my adoptive family were non-believers). If that's all that happens, that's OK.

My husband says he might ring her up. He is very sensitive and tactful and good at reading situations. I don't mind if he does this. I'm aware she might not want to know, but would like to give her the chance. I would not have a problem with it if she didn't , I would understand.

Dazed and Confused.....

SDW, have just read this whole thread and I'm absolutely gripped by your story; it's so lovely. Do you think you could possibly point me to the thread which contained the link to the website you used as mentioned in your original post? I would be very grateful.

So pleased for you about the meeting on the 25th ! Sending you my good wishes

NickyBat

Ooo i'm on holiday then, but i shall be thinking of you and will catch up as soon as i get back.

I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world, but i feel all will be well.

seven-day-weekend

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

http://www.missing-you.net/categories/adoptions.php

I just put the barest details in and had loads of replies from people who had studied the birth/marriage records.

All I ask is that if you manage to identify me from the forum, please do not post the information on here. Please respect my privacy. Thanks.:)

For Chipmunk: This is the post I where I originally wrote about the link. Good luck

MrsRogers

Good luck OP Oct will soon be here

Lovely story.. your Anut and DM sound lovely and im sure you will all get a long

thistledome

Can't believe I haven't seen this thread before, just read the whole thing.

7DW, I'm so glad you wrote to this lady and have been considerate to her age and feelings. I hope you have a successful meeting with her and your Aunt.

I just wanted to say something in regard to the question somebody asked about "what do you hope to gain?". From the first post in this thread my thoughts were with this old lady who may have been very unwilling to give up her only child and who may have thought about her child every day of her life. Imagine if this was the case and the lady had reached the end of her life never knowing if her baby had been happy or sad, was dead or alive or was living in the next street and walked past her house every day with neither one of them knowing the other. I know this sounds a bit sappy, but that's what I felt when I read 7DW's first post.

She might or might not have anything to gain, but she might make an old lady very happy or at least bring her some comfort and closure.

7DW, even if your BM had ignored your letter, I think you were right to offer her the chance.

seven-day-weekend

Thankyou thistledome, that is exactly it, I wanted her to have the chance. If she chose not to have contact, at least that would have been her choice, it would not have been something that maybe she had no choice about.

She did say she had thought about me a lot. I hope I don't disappoint.

whitewing

I think that for people who have generally had a good life and been loved, as they get older, they are more likely to take and appreciate things as they are.

I think it is extremely unlikely that you will disappoint, and I think you would feel uneasy during phone contact if that were to be the case.