Birth Mother

seven-day-weekend

I've re-written my letter with just D and V on it, I felt the one I wrote last night might be a little too pushy. I'm going to ask my husband which is the best one before I post it.

I've said in both of them that I would still like to meet and understand that it is scary and that if they feel unable, that is Ok and we can continue to write and phone. I have also asked when their birthdays are.

I feel D may be like me, (or me like her I should say!), a bit reserved and not wanting to push herself forward in case it is considered to be intrusive; V is the most outgoing one I think.

I think I will just ask V about a meeting next time she phones.

seven-day-weekend

I've posted the letter today. Will have to wait and see what happens!

Fire_Fox

It occurs to me reading that they are of an age that they would expect to serve guests tea and biscuits/ cakes which, on top of the deafness issue, could be a stumbling block to meeting. Maybe your BM is not ready but maybe health issues for both parties is the sole reason.

seven-day-weekend

Fire_Fox wrote: »

It occurs to me reading that they are of an age that they would expect to serve guests tea and biscuits/ cakes which, on top of the deafness issue, could be a stumbling block to meeting. Maybe your BM is not ready but maybe health issues for both parties is the sole reason.

You have a point, I hadn't thought of the tea and cakes bit!

I think I may say that I will bring them some cakes. All they will ahve to do is make a cup of tea.

NickyBat

Very good point, their generation were very much ,fresh clothes on, best china out and you had to have something freshly baked to give guests.

Errata

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

You have a point, I hadn't thought of the tea and cakes bit!

I think I may say that I will bring them some cakes. All they will ahve to do is make a cup of tea.

Just exercise a little caution, take flowers not food. When I invite guests I don't expect them to provide the fodder and would feel miffed if they turned up with a cake for our tea as I would have organised things myself.
Time enough in the future for cakes - when it's a birthday, or Easter or Christmas.

Mojisola

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I think I may say that I will bring them some cakes. All they will ahve to do is make a cup of tea.

Perhaps offer to take the cakes - they can accept and appreciate how thoughtful you are being, or refuse because they would feel awkward if they didn't provide the goodies.

seven-day-weekend

OK, I will consider everyone's advice, although I personally would be delighted if someone offered to bring me a cake! Then again, although I welcome all and sundry into my home, they get a cup of tea (or a glass of wine) and a biscuit if they are lucky. Even if f we have someone round for a meal, I'm still glad if they bring some food.

They do get really entertaining company though, and can stay the night if they want to!

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate that not everyone feels the same about these things.

seven-day-weekend

UPDATE:

We are arranging a meeting for October or November.:eek:

Aunt phoned, spoke to BM too, I said I didn't want to intrude, they said I wasn't intruding, Aunt's neice (a cousin?) is arranging it all, just waiting for dates.

Excited but terrified.....

Keeping_Motivated

Awe I hope it goes well...must be crazy feelings you're going through..Take care