Birth Mother

ccygirl

expatasia wrote: »

Agree with that in theory but (haven't read all pages of this thread) I am curious as to what can be gained, especially if one has been satisfied with the way one's adoptive parents brought you up. I say that with the greatest respect.

I also haven't read all the posts but as someone who has been adopted I can totally understand the curiosity/need to find out what you can before it's too late. Whilst I have had a very happy upbringing and dearly love my parents I still have a longing to know who I really am. I have known I was adopted since I was quite young and felt then everything was very black and white. However, since becoming a mother myself I have realised it may not be so simple. I dont think anyone who is not in this position can understand. The simplest things like going to the doctor become complicated when they ask if there is a family history, and its as you get older you start to question what really happened.

expatasia

ccygirl wrote: »

The simplest things like going to the doctor become complicated when they ask if there is a family history, and its as you get older you start to question what really happened.

Fair enough. What aspects of 'what really happened' are you referring to?

NickyBat

Any news 7dw?

seven-day-weekend

NickyBat wrote: »

Any news 7dw?

No. I have been dog-sitting since I sent the last letter, so will give Aunt a ring when I am at home again.

TBH, I don't think they are ready for a meeting, maybe never will be. If so, well at least BM knows about me and we have a relationship of sorts, especially with Aunt. That's OK. It's more than we had before.

NickyBat

Oh that's a shame, but you have got the right attitude, maybe they are just not ready as you say.

seven-day-weekend

If we ever do get to meet it will be a bonus. I said in my last letter that I will not mention it again and that we could continue our relationship by phone and letter, until, and if, BM was ready for a meeting.

We shall have to wait and see.

NickyBat

As a mother myself, i think if it were me although i would be apprehensive i also would like to meet sooner rather than later.

But then i suppose it's easy for me to say as i'm not in that position.

seven-day-weekend

I can understand why it's scary. It is for me too. And these are old ladies in their late eighties (or possibly 90s in the case of the Aunt). I do understand.

meritaten

actually SDW - these ladies may be waiting for YOU to make the first move to meeting. after all, the initial contact was all down to you, and they may be afraid to suggest meeting or push for one in case you backed off permanently. It would be a shame to miss out because both sides are too scared! I think this is your move hun and it has been all along - your mum is wise enough to let you go at your own pace.

seven-day-weekend

meritaten wrote: »

actually SDW - these ladies may be waiting for YOU to make the first move to meeting. after all, the initial contact was all down to you, and they may be afraid to suggest meeting or push for one in case you backed off permanently. It would be a shame to miss out because both sides are too scared! I think this is your move hun and it has been all along - your mum is wise enough to let you go at your own pace.

I have suggested it, but they have said several times that they are not well enough. So I have backed off a bit.