Birth Mother

building_with_lego

The recommendation nowadays is that the adoptive parents keep the original names, which is why so many little 'Chiardoney- Mai's and 'JonJoe's are left waiting for new families

(According to the Daily Mail the other week anyway)

seven-day-weekend

building_with_lego wrote: »

The recommendation nowadays is that the adoptive parents keep the original names, which is why so many little 'Chiardoney- Mai's and 'JonJoe's are left waiting for new families

(According to the Daily Mail the other week anyway)

Which is all very well if the child is two or three, but what does it matter if the child is six weeks old, as I was?

Take your point about the names though. I'd just call the child something similar but un-chavvy personally, like Charlie and John or Joe.

Ms_Chocaholic

building_with_lego wrote: »

The recommendation nowadays is that the adoptive parents keep the original names, which is why so many little 'Chiardoney- Mai's and 'JonJoe's are left waiting for new families

(According to the Daily Mail the other week anyway)

The recommendation IS that adoptive parents keep the children's birth names but this is often not the case

Errata

A recommendation is nothing more than just that, not an instruction or an order or a legal requirement.

building_with_lego

You're all absolutely right, of course. Here's the link to the article.
A few selected sentences: "standard practice for social workers to recommend that the birth name be retained, a suggestion which is then rubber-stamped by the judge at adoption hearings."
"a political correctness that prizes the feelings of the birth parents"
"changing the name would be ‘a loss of the child’s family identity'".



Sorry to divert your thread, SDW! My heart leaps a little when I see that you've updated it- what an utterly lovely thing to have happened, to you, your birth Mother and your aunt.

meritaten

I do hope your mother gets well soon - I expect she is as disappointed as you at the delay in meeting each other.
Your Aunt sounds lovely though!
When you two DO meet - please post again, I can hardly wait to hear how it goes!

seven-day-weekend

meritaten wrote: »

I do hope your mother gets well soon - I expect she is as disappointed as you at the delay in meeting each other.
Your Aunt sounds lovely though!
When you two DO meet - please post again, I can hardly wait to hear how it goes!

I shall certainly keep the thread posted, it is a support to me, especially in the early days.

I have written to her again today (probably the best contact as she is deaf) and asked if she has any photos that she can send me. The Aunt will probably phone in reply.

barbiedoll

SDW, you don't have to wait until Mother's day or her birthday to send your BM flowers! It may be nice to send some to both her and your aunt, (just a small bunch, anything too large looks a bit show-offy if you know what I mean?) especially as your aunt has been helpful on the phone and so on.

I bet it gives you a little thrill when your aunt calls you "love"!


I hope you get to meet them both soon.

farmerswife75

SDW, i'm soo pleased i saw this thread on here!!! I also posted on the missing you website looking for my birth mother, long story but basically she isn't interested in knowing anything about me at all!
BUT, i have found a full sister which is just amazing as i'm an only child! She's 15 months older than me and only lives 20 miles away! I started this search just before christmas, i think i did it in the hope that my birth mother would be looking for me as my birthday is at christmas but it made no difference.
The best news is that i've met my sister and her family, we met on our own the first time and then she came to see us all down on the farm with her husband and family a couple of weeks later. It's really strange as we have loads of things in common - we both have three kids of similar ages, we both love baking - and loads of other things. The thing that really made me smile was that my middle daughters name is her youngests middle name, so we must have the same taste in names!! haha!! we were also on holiday in the same place at the same time last year!!

Sorry for hogging your thread SDW, i just wanted to let you know that things can turn out really well & hope that you have as much success as i have had!

Jxx

seven-day-weekend

farmers wife, you're not hogging the thread, I think it is goood to hear of happy things like this,(although I'm sorry your birth mother didn't want to know), you have a full sister, how wonderful!

barbie doll, I did think of sending them both flowers, but I don't as yet know the aunt's address. I will phone her though now I have her number.