Family Issue causing upset

bright_side

FamilyFeuds wrote: »

I am not still totally immersed in grief and do not push this on others. Yes I still think about my Dad every day and miss him but I live my life. I intend to enjoy what we have now as life is so short and you never know what is around the corner. Yes I would like to play happy families but guess that only exists in fairytales.
My husband understands the situation and and will raise this with the family and will raise this when he sees fit as it is causing underlying tension.

Sorry, but in your posts you don't sound like you are doing this. In fact in most of them you have stated how awful things have been for YOU. That's not to say things haven't been bad for you.....we know they have......because you've told us, but when you've truly come to terms with it all and let go of the 'woe is me' attitude......then maybe you will be able to see that we all play a part in our relationships/lack of relationships with people. Your SIL is the one who is suffering with infertility NOW and it may just be that she can't face any kind of relationship with you at this time. If you really care about her and what she is going through, then you need to accept and respect that.

Sambucus_Nigra

Yeah - or SIL could just be a complete cow. Hence the sarky comments as soon as the OP was 'unfriended'.

bright_side

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yeah - or SIL could just be a complete cow. Hence the sarky comments as soon as the OP was 'unfriended'.

Absolutely!! In which case the OP will realise she's best off out of it!!

duchy

FatVonD wrote: »

Perhaps the other people with children have older children, the OP is currently pregnant, big difference. Or maybe they are just people that the SIL and BIL were closer to in the first place. Sharing the details of your struggle to conceive isn't something you want to share with every Tom, !!!!!! and Harry.

I do wonder if perhaps more has been said to the OP's husband and he hasn't communicated it to the OP as he's trying to spare her feelings.

In her earlier posts the OP mentioned several times about how she wanted to support her SIL-I'm wondering if this is the crux of the matter -That the SIL doesn't want to feel she needs to discuss very personal stuff with a woman who appears to be little more than an aquaintance and with whom she has little history or much in common . If the OP told other family members how much she feels well qualified to advise and support and it got back to the couple -that they felt they were already well supported by people they BOTH have history and connection with .

Really though I'm at a loss why the OP is so out of shape over all this-she's offered support to a couple she doesn't have a close friendship with and they don't want it -so move on. As for seeing her husband -women talk about feelings and emotions -men talk about things and don't deleve into the emotional side unless specifically invited to-it's an entirely different situation even without the brotherly relationship.

I'm not surprised the rest of the family are keeping out of it -I would too.

duchy

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Yeah - or SIL could just be a complete cow. Hence the sarky comments as soon as the OP was 'unfriended'.

OR she did what many people do when they've been on FB for a while-and had a general clear out of "aquaintances" and people she wasn't especially close to -The comment makes more sense in that context -as anyone she unfriended wouldn't have seen it anyway .

Not everyone can be bothered shuffling friends into different groups (or even realize you can) so just clear out those they don't want involved in more personal discussions when life gets difficult .

Sambucus_Nigra

duchy wrote: »

OR she did what many people do when they've been on FB for a while-and had a general clear out of "aquaintances" and people she wasn't especially close to -The comment makes more sense in that context -as anyone she unfriended wouldn't have seen it anyway .

Not everyone can be bothered shuffling friends into different groups (or even realize you can) so just clear out those they don't want involved in more personal discussions when life gets difficult .

No - but her husband would. No doubt about it - that comment was meant to get back to the OP no matter how much people on here are labelling the OP's SIL as 'Victim' and the OP as 'Evil Wrongdoer'.

bright_side

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

No - but her husband would. No doubt about it - that comment was meant to get back to the OP no matter how much people on here are labelling the OP's SIL as 'Victim' and the OP as 'Evil Wrongdoer'.

I don't think anyone is saying OP is an 'Evil Wrongdoer'. I just think she either needs to ask SIL what the problem is or let it go. Her husband is in an awful position here 'piggy in the middle' springs to mind!

thorsoak

Actually, I've just thought about something with Facebook - yes, I am "on" it - but I wouldn't know whether anyone has "unfriended" me unless they tell me ....do you have to look it up??

(Shows how much I'm not on there!)

bright_side

Well you certainly don't get a notification that you've been unfriended!

Emmzi

karen23 wrote: »

Well you certainly don't get a notification that you've been unfriended!

you do with the "better facebook" add on.

Still, I come back to "are we all 12?"