Does any have, or have had, au pairs?

Pink.

missk_ensington wrote:

Laugh, but that is what the Assessor said, £12 an hour for around 20 hours a week

I think I may have misunderstood your original post Missk. From your subsequent posts you are saying that the au pair is being employed to care for you for around 20 hours per week.

Surely by staying with you in the evenings for those 20 hours she is fulfilling her job description? I'm afraid that I don't understand the problem.

Pink

sarahlouise210

I was also wondering ...why would you not ask your brother what he was claiming DLA for ??? It could be a similar condition to your own..it could be genetic....

HariboJunkie

Good point Pink. Well spotted. The whole story is rather confusing.
OP I would love to know exactly how you are managing to get so much DLA. It is a notoriously difficult benefit to claim and so many genuinely very ill people do not manage to get it with symtoms that are much more visable than yours. Sorry just genuinely confused.

sarahlouise210

Pink-winged wrote:

I think I may have misunderstood your original post Missk. From your subsequent posts you are saying that the au pair is being employed to care for you for around 20 hours per week.

Surely by staying with you in the evenings for those 20 hours she is fulfilling her job description? I'm afraid that I don't understand the problem.

Pink

Exactly !!!!! But of course..job description is really look after son all day so I can tell my friends i have an au pair - oh and for free too!!!

sarahlouise210

HariboJunkie wrote:

Good point Pink. Well spotted. The whole story is rather confusing.
OP I would love to know exactly how you are managing to get so much DLA. It is a notoriously difficult benefit to claim and so many genuinely very ill people do not manage to get it with symtoms that are much more visable than yours. Sorry just genuinely confused.

As she has said herself...its not hard..pretend to faint in a busy shopping area 4-5 times a year..they phone an ambulance - all noted. etc etc - she has it nailed.....oh yeah...and she said she goes to bed at 9pm!

Lillibet_2

I am not a board guide or a moderator so please would one step into this thread & either steer it back towards the original topic or close it becuase currently it makes very very unpleasent reading.

I am seeing some shocking behaviour from some previously well respected posters.

This is not the place to behave like this, if you cannot make a reasonable contribution to this then please take it to the Arms:p

oldMcDonald

Lillibet wrote:

I am not a board guide or a moderator so please would one step into this thread & either steer it back towards the original topic or close it becuase currently it makes very very unpleasent reading.

I am seeing some shocking behaviour from some previously well respected posters.

This is not the place to behave like this, if you cannot make a reasonable contribution to this then please take it to the Arms:p

You are probably right, and although this is the first time I have posted on this thread, I have been happily clicking away at the 'thanks' button.

MissK_ensington has made some rather sweeping statements on the benefits board, when a question was asked regarding the purpose of DLA, about how most claimants of DLA are *possibly* frauding the system. She has also said that she gets so much in benefits she finds it hard to spend her DLA, this was on a thread about petitioning the government to have the winter fuel payment extended to higher rate DLA recipients and there was a rather accusing tone throughout her posts. That really hurt as I had previously posted about how hard things were financially for us with our disabled son and her posts were very accusing about DLA claimants.

I am sorry, MissK_ensington, if I have thanked a post which has in anyway upset you. I think I probably took my anger at a previous post of yours over to this thread and for that I appologise.

HariboJunkie

Lillibet wrote:

I am not a board guide or a moderator so please would one step into this thread & either steer it back towards the original topic or close it becuase currently it makes very very unpleasent reading.

I am seeing some shocking behaviour from some previously well respected posters.

This is not the place to behave like this, if you cannot make a reasonable contribution to this then please take it to the Arms:p

You're right of course lilibet and I should have known better that to get involved in this thread last night. I did not make an unpleasent post but just wanted to respond to some of the statements mad by the OP in response to the question of DLA. I do hope she sorts out the issues with the au pair soon.

Haribo

Justie

to get back onto the original question and in answer to the further details given about the au pair...

You are the boss. If she's employed to look after your child (putting aside any care issues for yourself here) then you need to be clear what you expect from her. She sounds like she is a) inexperienced and b) ill prepared to look after a 3 year old sufficiently. Your son obviously likes her though so she's got something going for her.

You need to sit down with her and work out a weekly schedule. If you want her to take him to a toddler group then tell her that's what she needs to do - if you have a friend who goes then maybe they can look after her the first week as she'll feel a bit scared if she doesn't know anyone. Let her know how much tv time you expect your son to have - recent research suggests half an hour a day for the under 3s is plenty but if he's used to watching lots you may need to suggest short periods of say half an hour 3 times a day to give her a breather and him some zombie time. A 3 year old can be learning lots of things in a fun way and there are various threads on activities to do with children but suggesting things like water play, painting, going to the park, going to feed the ducks, story time etc all broken down into half hour or hour blocks will help both of them get more out of the day.

As for the out of work hours things you also need to be clear. It is your house and you are entitled to your space. If you want to bring a man back then that's none of her business.

And can I suggest that if you do get £200 a week you employ a nanny rather than an au pair at least a nanny has some training...

Zara33

Lillibet wrote:

I am not a board guide or a moderator so please would one step into this thread & either steer it back towards the original topic or close it becuase currently it makes very very unpleasent reading.

I am seeing some shocking behaviour from some previously well respected posters.

This is not the place to behave like this, if you cannot make a reasonable contribution to this then please take it to the Arms:p

I disagree i think everything that was said last night was only scratching the surface.
The "au pair" is employed to care for the OP child, also the "au pair" is allegedly there to care for the OP that is why the OP is seeking direct payments.

Perhaps the "au pair" feels that it is her job to watch over the OP all the time as she believes this is part of her job

The sweeping statements that the OP made afterwards regarding people getting DLA was utterly disgusting :mad: "survival of the fitest" ermmm no actually the DLA is there to help not so fit.

I still stand by everything i said last night, afraid no apologises from me. I say it how i see it i'm afraid and if that offends others then possibly use the ignore button thanks.