Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

euronorris

Dunroamin wrote: »

A general question for those who say that they go out for dinner and only have one course and don't drink - what do you do for the rest of the evening while everyone else is eating and drinking?

Firstly, not usually the only ones and then there are some who eat quicker than others, and some who receive their courses sooner than others etc. So there is always someone to talk to.

I'm not sure why not drinking alcohol would separate me from the group though? Unless everyone on the table had planned to get absolutely bladdered, which is very unlikely for a meal out. 1 or 2 people maybe, or even 1 or 2 accidentally, but not everyone.

Person_one

elvis86 wrote: »

I would hate to dine out with you.

In a restaurant it's polite to tip where the service has been good. Presumably the rest of the group split the bill and tip (unless they're all bad-mannered tightwads too), so despite putting in the exact amount for your food and drink(s), the rest of the party are paying a tip on your behalf? So you're actually as bad as people who "take advantage" when a bill is split.:cool:

I'll admit, I hate the whole tipping thing, I only do it because of the social pressure.

Now that restaurants legally have to pay their staff NMW I don't understand why we have to give them a little bonus just for doing their job. Plenty of people work just as hard or harder for equally low wages who never get a tip, its so arbitrary.

euronorris

Dunroamin wrote: »

But going out for a meal isn't to do with normal appetite any more than going out for a drink is because you're thirsty. I also don't really see how you can spend an evening just having one course - most restaurants would ask you to leave after an hour.

Don't be silly. No restaurant has EVER asked me to leave, despite not having a starter or dessert, or alcohol. And I've eaten in some of the top restaurants in London before.

My appetite doesn't increase when I eat out, nor do my tastes change, so I don't see why I would overindulge. Besides, my last visit to the UK showed me that the portion sizes over there have increased quite considerably! I'm sure it has slowly crept in, but I really noticed it this time as I was unable to finish a single meal whilst there!

I quite understand people's problems when on a budget but, personally, if I couldn't afford to do it without watching every penny I just wouldn't go.

Believe me, you'd soon change your tune when you hadn't been out for a few months because of that reason.

Person_one

euronorris wrote: »

Believe me, you'd soon change your tune when you hadn't been out for a few months because of that reason.

Tell me about it, I've been terminally skint most of my adult life, admittedly due to my own choices, but that shouldn't mean I have to be a hermit!

If you budget well you can go out every now and then and keep your friends and your sanity, you shouldn't have to sacrifice that because other people don't want to be reminded of the fact that you're broke!

euronorris

Dunroamin wrote: »

But do you go out for drinks because you're thirsty? Do you sit at home and drink several pints of some kind of liquid? It seems to me the same thing as eating more when you go out.

No, I go out for drinks to socialise. But I do also have a thirst to quench. So, I will have a few alcoholic beverages, and then switch to soft drinks/water/nothing. It depends on how thirsty I am, and how much alcohol I've drunk.

Let's not forget that alcohol is a drug, and therefore induces non typical behaviour in the consumer - such as drinking more than intended/needed. The same cannot be said of food.

Anyway, I expect most of us eat more substantially when we're at home than restaurant portions, which is why it's possible to eat three courses without making a pig of yourself.

I think that really depends on where you dine out.

adouglasmhor

Person_one wrote: »

I'll admit, I hate the whole tipping thing, I only do it because of the social pressure.

Now that restaurants legally have to pay their staff NMW I don't understand why we have to give them a little bonus just for doing their job. Plenty of people work just as hard or harder for equally low wages who never get a tip, its so arbitrary.

It's for doing more than their job you tip.

If they just take your order and dump the food in front of you = no tip, it's a bonus in the service industry for doing that little bit more, and while they get minimum wage they also do late nights, split shifts and irregular hours

Minimum wage is not that great and people work in service because they can boost earnings with tips etc. Tipping in Britain is lower than in many other countries (about half of the USA for example).

Lunar_Eclipse

Doom_and_Gloom wrote: »

I'm sorry but you seem to have missed the part where I said

The bottle of drink we are buying to take for them costs about £20 on it's own

Yes I might have missed it, I honestly can't remember, but my suggestion still stands. In my experience, the etiquette would be to pay for one meal out/takeaway during your stay (and presumably enjoy the drink you take whilst there.) Interestingly this is something that spans back to both mine and DH's adolescence, when staying with family friends and treating them to a meal out, which our parents effectively paid for at that time.

I know how difficult this could be financially though; we have very close friends who have a substantially higher level of income than us (they're multi millionaires.) We're still very good friends, but are poles apart in terms of general lifestyle and some social situations, like eating out, which we do much less often that we used to.

euronorris

I have no problem in paying a tip, so long as it is deserved. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case, and I refuse to tip then. I hate places that automatically add a service charge onto the bill, not least because I suspect the tip doesn't actually make it's way to the waiter/ress. Especially if paid by card.

I hate the attitude in the US towards this. Some of the service I received there was appalling, so no tip! And they look so surprised! !!!!!!? You go above and beyond, and i'll tip (and well), but if you don't do that, or worse, you give below par service, you can forget your tip.

erichamster

Dunroamin wrote: »

But do you go out for drinks because you're thirsty? Do you sit at home and drink several pints of some kind of liquid? It seems to me the same thing as eating more when you go out.

Anyway, I expect most of us eat more substantially when we're at home than restaurant portions, which is why it's possible to eat three courses without making a pig of yourself.

I do actually drink quite a lot of water/soft drinks at home, hydration is good for the skin.

Also I wouldn't drink several pints when I'm out either. Like I said I'm sure this is an age/culture thing, I and people I know wouldn't expect to stay in a restaurant all evening, whereas we might stay in a bar or bars for much longer /all night. I think as people get older and more affluent they want to spend their time eating in restaurants not drinking in bars.

Also the portions depend on where your eating, pretty much all the restaurants around here would serve larger portions than I would eat at home so no that doesn't apply, but perhaps you're talking about more expensive place with tiny portions, most establishments near us charge between £7 and £15 for a main course and £3 to £6 for a starter or dessert and we woulndn't be able to afford a more expensive place.

Anyway my point is that people have very different ideas about restaurants when it comes to how much they expect to eat, how long they expect to stay and especially how much they expect to spend.
No one is really right we are just different in our views, if your friends share your views and you're happy, who cares? If they don't, speak up and don't be bullied into doing something you're uncomfortable with.

poet123

Derivative wrote: »

I just pay for my own regardless of whether someone's said "shall we split the bill".

Makes no difference. If I've spent £17 and I put in £17, then the rest of the group is still splitting the bill.

I never tip at restaurants and I always tot up the value of my food as I order it, so that's not an issue.

I don't really see the difficulty, if I spent £x, £x comes out of my wallet. If someone else mentioned anything, I'd just politely tell them that I've put in the correct amount for my meal.

Always bring change to restaurants. Always.

So, you don't add in a tip ( obviously assuming the service has been good) when totting up what you owe? How is that fair to the rest of the party (unless no one leaves a tip?)

We only tip for good service and always in cash even if paying by card so that we can be sure the tip is going to the wating staff not the management. Three of us once left a tip of 3p at the Ivy in London because the service had been so appalling and we wanted to make a point.