Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

Derivative

Tipping in a restaurant for "good service" makes no sense. The job of a waiter is to give good service. That's their whole reason for existence, that's why they are paid.

If the rest of my table want to "tip for me" then they're free to. No-one is forcing anyone.

I don't blindly follow social norms just because they exist, sorry. You'd hate to dine with me - well, I wouldn't be friends with someone who expects me to pay for them anyway.

Bad-mannered? If anything, expecting someone to pay to subsidise you and then expecting them to pay a tip on top of that while disregarding their opinion of whether or not they recieved good service is bad manners. Or do you care more about a waiter you'll never see again as opposed to.. you know.. a supposed friend?

Peater

Indout96 wrote: »

My wife has not drunk for around 15 years due to a health problem but I can assure you that diet coke is quite often more expensive than my pint. if it comes in those wonderfull very small glass COKE bottle it can easily be £6 a pint.

I'd like to see someone try and drink 3 or 4 pints of Coke of an evening!! I'd be up for days and constantly needing a pee!

Peater

Derivative wrote: »

If the rest of my table want to "tip for me" then they're free to. No-one is forcing anyone.

I don't blindly follow social norms just because they exist, sorry. You'd hate to dine with me - well, I wouldn't be friends with someone who expects me to pay for them anyway.

I think we'd get along.

I also get quite grouchy about toasts and the clinking of glasses. I have a limit of 4 'clinks'. If there are more people around the table i simply raise a glass in thier direction (I may make a dispensation if there are 5 of us, but 6? No way buster!), its ludicrous having to stretch across a table of food just to make actual physical contact with someone else's glass.

Bah! Humbug!

euronorris

Dunroamin wrote: »

It never even occurred to me that people would get drunk when going out for dinner!

Good, I'm glad. I am curious though, why did you mention drinking in your comment? The insuation was that if someone was not eating and drinking as much as everyone else, they would be left out somehow. I can see how food can stop people chatting, but drinking? It doesn't matter does it?

raven83

Fredula wrote: »

Don't you just hate it when you go out for a meal, and you choose your food to what you can afford, what you've budgeted for, you maybe don't have a desert, or perhaps have a small desert, and you only order one or two soft drinks because they're cheaper than the alcohol...and then the bill comes at the end, and some wise !!!! says, "Shall we just split it?"....

Before Christmas, I went out for the MIL's birthday to an all you can eat chinese which costs £16 per person. FIL bought my first drink (coke), and I ordered a second, which was only a half. So, me being me, not liking handbags, etc and not liking my pockets weighed down, only took a £20 note. Perfect, or so I thought. That's the price of the meal, one drink plus a tip!! So the end came, and one of the relatives on our table piped up and said, "Shall we just split the bill?"... Everyone agreed with her!! What?! No! Well, needless to say I did not have the cash on me to pay for the bottles of wine and pints of larger they had all enjoyed, so OH had to pay my extra.

We have another family meal coming up. I don't know whether to just order what I want or stick to my budget again.

What do you do in these situations? Does it annoy you as much as it annoys me? Is there any way to get around it without everyone thinking you're a tight wad?

This is exactly what happened to me a couple of years back, went out for a meal with the girls, i had budgeted to have a starter, and a main and a couple of soft drinks. The others all had starters, mains, desserts, wine and coffee etc, so when the bill came in and the people i was with decided that splitting it would be easier i was horrorfeid!!!! I had budgeted for my meal alone and only had enough money for my share, if i had known they was going to split it i would of had wine and dessert!!!! In the end they decided to split it and i felt like a right !!!!!! because i didnt have enough!!!! I was so peed off after that it really wound me up no end, to think i had to put money towards their meals was a bloody cheek!!!!:mad: In the end i gave what i had and ended up "owing" the extra at a later date, needless to say i didnt bloody pay the rest, why should i though??? If we had agreed in the beginging to split the bill then fine, but nothing was agreed and i can just about afford my own meal let alone fund some indulgent sods meal!!!! Needless to say when ever i go out now i make sure that that we are only paying for our own and not sharing the tab!!!!

elvis86

raven83 wrote: »

This is exactly what happened to me a couple of years back, went out for a meal with the girls, i had budgeted to have a starter, and a main and a couple of soft drinks. The others all had starters, mains, desserts, wine and coffee etc, so when the bill came in and the people i was with decided that splitting it would be easier i was horrorfeid!!!! I had budgeted for my meal alone and only had enough money for my share, if i had known they was going to split it i would of had wine and dessert!!!!

Whereas your friends probably ordered what they did because they fancied it, rather than being motivated by greed and "She had a dessert so I'm jolly well having one even if it makes me sick" pettiness.:cool:

raven83 wrote: »

In the end they decided to split it and i felt like a right !!!!!! because i didnt have enough!!!! I was so peed off after that it really wound me up no end, to think i had to put money towards their meals was a bloody cheek!!!!:mad:

If the cap fits...:D

raven83 wrote: »

In the end i gave what i had and ended up "owing" the extra at a later date, needless to say i didnt bloody pay the rest, why should i though???

Because presumably you agreed to splitting (or at least, you didn't protest) and accepted an offer from someone to owe them the difference?

From the perspective of whoever ended up short because you didn't pay them back; she went for dinner with friends, it was agreed that the bill would be split, she kindly offerred to sub her friend when they said they didn't have enough, and the b!tch never paid her back? Some friend you are...

raven83 wrote: »

If we had agreed in the beginging to split the bill then fine, but nothing was agreed and i can just about afford my own meal let alone fund some indulgent sods meal!!!! Needless to say when ever i go out now i make sure that that we are only paying for our own and not sharing the tab!!!!

If you were my friend, this wouldn't be a problem for you, as you wouldn't receive many invitations.;)

19lottie82

raven83 wrote: »

ended up "owing" the extra at a later date, needless to say i didnt bloody pay the rest, why should i though???!

Surely making one person out of pocket (intentionally) , instead of yourself, is pretty low?
Would it not be better to put your point across at the time rather leading someone astray about your intentions to pay them back?

tsunami70

From the perspective of whoever ended up short because you didn't pay them back; she went for dinner with friends, it was agreed that the bill would be split, she kindly offerred to sub her friend when they said they didn't have enough, and the b!tch never paid her back? Some friend you are...

I'd agree with this - two wrongs don't make a right!
And thanks elvis, you've made this an interesting thread

*Louise*

Indout96 wrote: »

My wife has not drunk for around 15 years due to a health problem but I can assure you that diet coke is quite often more expensive than my pint. if it comes in those wonderfull very small glass COKE bottle it can easily be £6 a pint.

I remember someone using this argument with me some time ago - they made the point that I should be paying the same as my pint of coke coke cost the same as a glass of wine.

Yeah I see the point to an extent.....but I had ONE glass of coke all night...she had 5 glasses of wine!! :rotfl:

Frogletina

*Louise* wrote: »

Yeah I see the point to an extent.....but I had ONE glass of coke all night...she had 5 glasses of wine!! :rotfl:

I remember my daughter telling me she'd been on a pub crawl and only had one coke all night. She took it from pub to pub. I'm guessing she didn't buy a round or split any bills.