Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

poet123

19lottie82 wrote: »

Surely making one person out of pocket (intentionally) , instead of yourself, is pretty low?
Would it not be better to put your point across at the time rather leading someone astray about your intentions to pay them back?

As I posted earlier this happened to me, I was the one left out of pocket, and I was very annoyed and felt really let down by someone I considered to be a friend.

silvercar

Is going out to eat about the food and drinks? IN which case only pay for what you eat and drink.

Or is it about spending an enjoyable evening with friends/ family / colleagues? In which case the food is only part of the package and there is a strong case for everyone spending equally.

Extending to the extreme, if you've nursed a glass of tap water all evening and only eaten the few peanuts/ bread that was provided free, can you justify paying nothing for what has been a pleasant evening out with friends?

tinktinktinkerbell

silvercar wrote: »

Is going out to eat about the food and drinks? IN which case only pay for what you eat and drink.

Or is it about spending an enjoyable evening with friends/ family / colleagues? In which case the food is only part of the package and there is a strong case for everyone spending equally.

Extending to the extreme, if you've nursed a glass of tap water all evening and only eaten the few peanuts/ bread that was provided free, can you justify paying nothing for what has been a pleasant evening out with friends?

im sorry yes, i do not pay for what i do not use/eat/drink, simple as that

peaceandfreedom

*Louise* wrote: »

I remember someone using this argument with me some time ago - they made the point that I should be paying the same as my pint of coke coke cost the same as a glass of wine.

Yeah I see the point to an extent.....but I had ONE glass of coke all night...she had 5 glasses of wine!! :rotfl:

The non-drinker ends up with the raw end of the deal if a meal bill is just split evenly. I remember once being the driver when I went out for a meal with three (girl) friends. The other three drank with abandon all night, I just had tap water (I don't see any need to pay through the nose for mineral water).

As I was driving and also had no alcohol, I assumed that one of them would suggest that I pay less of the bill. But no-one did and I felt it would seem really tight if I suggested it.

I reckon I subsided their drinking by over a tenner of my own money which really p****d me off seeing I'd driven us all there as well. :mad:

If ever in this situation again I will be more assertive.

Flat_Eric

Very interesting thread. I would much rather cook a nice meal at home than go out but on the occasions that I do, it depends on who I'm eating with as to how we pay the bill. Its unfair to split the bill down the middle when one person has drunk lots of alcohol and has had an expensive main with extras when someone else might only have a cheap main course or even just a starter for their main meal.

Penny-Pincher!!

We always just say that we're paying separately.

MandM90

DW and I are quite happy to just say 'do you mind if we do separate bills'? and the other parties have always been happy to oblige. If the restaurant won't do it, I'd rather just split them than sit adding up every side salad, glass of coke and trying to figure out what percentage of the olives I ate. What a miserable end to an evening!

athina_2

I am quite happy to split the bill if there is a ~£5 difference compared to what I ordered. I don't drink alcohol and am not a huge eater so if it's more then I'll just put down what I think is right and state "I didn't drink any alcohol so this should cover what I had". I've had a few dirty looks from being in large groups but to be honest, I don't care. I don't watch my pennies so others can freeload off me.

maman

MandM90 wrote: »

DW and I are quite happy to just say 'do you mind if we do separate bills'? and the other parties have always been happy to oblige. If the restaurant won't do it, I'd rather just split them than sit adding up every side salad, glass of coke and trying to figure out what percentage of the olives I ate. What a miserable end to an evening!

I agree that haggling can ruin the evening. I remember one of my SILs doing something similar;she was argiung that her (teenage) daughter hadn't had a pudding etc. The rest of the family were disgusted that she wasn't treating her daughter to a meal rather than trying to get her bill down for her.

It does rather depend on the circles you move in and your self confidence/concern about being judged etc. I go out with a group where we almost always split the bill but one friend will somethimes just put a note down and say 'I think this covers mine' if she's just had a small main and one drink. Then we just split the rest of the bill.

Birdy12

Flat_Eric wrote: »

Very interesting thread. I would much rather cook a nice meal at home than go out but on the occasions that I do, it depends on who I'm eating with as to how we pay the bill. Its unfair to split the bill down the middle when one person has drunk lots of alcohol and has had an expensive main with extras when someone else might only have a cheap main course or even just a starter for their main meal.

And you brought up this thread again after two and half months because?...