Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

londonsurrey

Birdy12 wrote: »

And you brought up this thread again after two and half months because?...

Presumably, as they stated in their opening sentence, because they found it to be an interesting thread.

They are entitled to post a comment, as it's a public board, and it's not one of those threads where it's stirring to revive it.

*Louise*

Birdy12 wrote: »

And you brought up this thread again after two and half months because?...

Please feel free to let us know where there is a time limit for posting on threads?


Manners cost nothing

Forum Etiquette

Pupnik

I feel the same way as the OP, both me and my OH are vegetarian and don't drink very much so when we have a meal out our meal itself is often half the price of the meat meals and we drink a small fraction of the amount of drinks - often just a soft drink, so it is a real pain when someone suggests splitting and we end up paying a lot more than what we ordered.

I'm not a tightwad and I like to treat my friends and will often buy drinks in pubs and coffee shops for them, and will sometimes treat them to dinner too if I am feeling flush, but I want to do it on my own terms and actually offer to pay for them rather than feeling like I'm forced to pay for it.

aquamarine10

I cannot get my head round people going out in a group not splitting the bill. I used to go for lunch with a group of 3 that only paid for what they had, got calculators out etc and it got so cringeworthy that I haven't been out with them since.

room512

This thread reminded me of a friend who was totally tight - in pubs she'd have a soft drink on her round and alcohol when it was someone else's. I remember a Christmas dinner (that we made at home - we shared a flat) that we were splitting the cost of. I had had my wisdom teeth out a couple of days before so wasn't up to eating much and at the end of the evening she brought out a box of After Eights. The next day I received my bill to pay and she had worked out how many After Eight's I'd had and charged me for them! She'd also take a calculator out when we went for a meal so she could work out how much everyone owed!

BitterAndTwisted

This thread and some of the responses in it are the main reason why I never eat in restaurants without knowing how the bill is going to be paid. In my experience, it's usually those who have cocktails, a starter, a main-course, a pudding and two bottles of wine when other people have not who are most keen to split the bill equally.

I once went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner for a friend-of-a-friend's birthday who I hardly knew. She decided that she "wasn't that hungry" at the start so only ordered a main-course for herself. And then, when the appetizers started arriving decided she "needed a taste" of what everyone else had ordered. And at the end, took out her calculator and worked out her share to the penny. And paid exactly that and no more. Oh, the shame of it! This was the same woman who went to a late-night restaurant with us and ordered the cheapest item on the menu to share with her pal. And paid for half of that down to the penny as well. Completely disregarding the things she took off other people's plates without invitation and the drinks she asked for when others were placing an order. I haven't seen her since and I'm so very, very glad. I should have slapped her the first time around.

tiff

Fredula wrote: »

To be fair, this was the first time I'd met OH's family (with the exception of his parents and grandparents), so I wasn't exactly going to pipe up and say "Well, hang on a minute, I'm not up for that!". Although I agree that in future, saying before the start of the meal that I'm paying for my own will be the way to go. The thing I was most annoyed about was that when they asked if anyone wanted anymore starters, I said yes and everyone else said no, so they brought the mains. What can you do eh.

Also, me and OH do share our finances now, but at the time, we were living separately so our finances were separate. Now that we live together, have a son (coincidentally it was the day after the meal I found out I was 5 and a half months preggers) and are saving for a house together, our finances are shared.

This time when we go out, (the only reason we're going is so that they can all see the babbers - or we wouldn't be going), OH is going to talk to his Mum (as it's her side of the family) and let her know that we're paying for ours.

Oh, also, it was a fiver that OH had to make up for me. And yes £20 cash is enough to go out with. I am a tomboy - I've never done handbags and never will. I do however like rucksacks, although you can't quite get away with taking one of those to a chinese restaurant :P

Do you not have pockets? Couldnt you have given your cash/debit card to your other half?

Taadaa

I feel tight saying 'well actually let's not split the bill' but then I get annoyed if I go out with my side of the family as they will happily sit there necking rum and coke and bottles of wine when one of us is driving, then want to split the bill equally. So I can't win really...!

PasturesNew

aquamarine10 wrote: »

I cannot get my head round people going out in a group not splitting the bill. I used to go for lunch with a group of 3 that only paid for what they had, got calculators out etc and it got so cringeworthy that I haven't been out with them since.

I figure if cost doesn't matter ... why didn't you offer to pay for everybody.

CrazyRatLady_2

I had this recently and it did annoy me.

The situation in a nut shell was it was a birthday meal out - the birthday girl was someone my boyfriend works with, I had met her and one of her friends once for about 2 minutes but she and my boyfriend are quite good friends. The other people who came along we didn't know.

Anyway the meal was booked in a restaurant 50 miles away from where we live (no I don't know why) and somehow we ended up driving half the people there and back (so a decent amount in petrol but we weren't going to ask for petrol money and no one offered).

At the restaurant both my boyfriend and I had a starter each, a lower priced main meal, I drank tap water and he had one small drink (so he was in the driving limit) - we were trying to keep the price down as we don't have much spare money.

When it came to paying, a guy sitting on the end said 'right we'll split the bill between us and each pay a bit of (birthday girls)'. Nothing about splitting the bill was mentioned before and the guy who said we'd split it all was the one who had consumed the most - he ate a starter, the most expensive main, a side, several alcoholic drinks, a dessert and a coffee (so he got himself a good deal in the end).

I didn't feel like I could say anything because I didn't really know any of these people and didn't want to stir the boat (plus I really want to make a good impression on people ever since my boyfriend lost his best friend 2 years ago as his girlfriend said I was a horrible person who obviously didn't like them, when it was nothing of the sort I'm just shy!) Boyfriend also didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to upset the only person there that he knew on her birthday.

All he did say was 'Well I'll have to go to a cash machine because I haven't got enough money for that' which was just met with an 'Ok'. In the end it cost us about 2.5 times what it actually should have.

To top it off all but one person waited by the restaurant while we bought the car round - the person who came with us contributed £1 to the car park fee (over £5) and no one else offered.

I did feel sorry for one other person there - she was a vegan and had literally just had a plate of salad which ended up costing her about £25.