Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

Dunroamin

A general question for those who say that they go out for dinner and only have one course and don't drink - what do you do for the rest of the evening while everyone else is eating and drinking?

FBaby

norabatty wrote: »

Sorry, don't have time/couldn't be bothered to read through all the responses but when I'm out with family/friends, it is usually suggested to split the cost of food equally - those not drinking alcohol contribute another fiver for their drink and tip, the rest (including tip) is covered by those drinking alcohol. Seems fair enough to me. So people drinking alcohol usually end up paying a tenner more than those who don't drink alcohol.

However, when I'm out with friends who I know/suspect are strapped for cash, I will suggest that we each pay for our own as you can often tell what way people are thinking from what they order.

I think that's definitely the most reasonable attitude to it if people are uncomfortable discussing it.

FBaby

Dunroamin wrote: »

A general question for those who say that they go out for dinner and only have one course and don't drink - what do you do for the rest of the evening while everyone else is eating and drinking?

Talk, listen and talk??? That's what I meet my friends for, the meal is accessory. It is not unusually for someone not to have a starter, and it does happen that I do have one. As for the alcohol, not sure how this affect anything. They drink their glass of wine, I drink my glass of water! Thankfully i don't require a certain level of alcohol in my bloodstream to enjoy myself and the company of good friends.

rising_from_the_ashes

krlyr wrote: »

"That guy" what? "That guy that pays for what they have and probably gives their friends a free lift home" - I'm quite proud to admit that I have been "that guy" on numerous occasions. Perhaps I should split the costs evenly but make up what I lost by charging everyone a nominal taxi fare

This is one of my big gripes too ...... we go out for a girls night every so often and as I live in the middle of nowhere & it would cost me around £40 to get a taxi home - I drive.

Don't have any issues with that but it does really annoy me when everyone else drinks copious amounts of alcohol and then decides to split the bill - as someone mentioned earlier, bottles of wine in restaurants quickly add huge amounts to bills - why should I pay for others drinks?

Added onto this is that I then usually end up giving everyone lifts home - last time as someone missed a bus it meant a 20 mile trip in one direction, then back 20 miles to another and then finally home - I ended up doing 80+ miles and took over 2 hours to get everyone home ..... petrol money .... never even crossed anyone's minds (probably as they were sozzled).

I can afford to go out for the odd meal here & there & pay for myself - but I cannot afford to buy other people's alcohol & then drive around the countryside taking them all home ..... and tbh why should I?

silvercar

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

This is one of my big gripes too ...... we go out for a girls night every so often and as I live in the middle of nowhere & it would cost me around £40 to get a taxi home - I drive.
.......

I can afford to go out for the odd meal here & there & pay for myself - but I cannot afford to buy other people's alcohol & then drive around the countryside taking them all home ..... and tbh why should I?

The short answer is that you chose to live away from public transport, so necessitating driving. Of course it would be reasonable to say you can only give lifts to people if they contribute to your petrol costs.

rising_from_the_ashes

silvercar wrote: »

The short answer is that you chose to live away from public transport, so necessitating driving.

Errrr I don't have any issues with driving and am quite happy doing so - as I said earlier.

I do have issues with being expected to contribute £20 or so more than my meal/drinks have cost to subsidise the amount others have consumed.

silvercar wrote: »

Of course it would be reasonable to say you can only give lifts to people if they contribute to your petrol costs.

mmmmm think I may raise that the next time - before everyone gets legless .

They do usually have some "plan" in place ie the last bus, but invariably end up missing it so I have little option (apart from to just leave them there, which I wouldn't do) but to take everyone home.

Sambucus_Nigra

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

I do have issues with being expected to contribute £20 or so more than my meal/drinks have cost to subsidise the amount others have consumed.

Next time you are asked say no - and when they ask why - say that you just can't afford to pay £20 for drinks when you just had a coke; and then another £80 in petrol when it actually only costs £20 to get home without giving people lifts. So for an evening that should cost £22 with no drink involved, it ends up being £100 and that's just not cricket.

*Put the correct values into the equation - I just made those up but you get the gist.

rising_from_the_ashes

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Next time you are asked say no - and when they ask why - say that you just can't afford to pay £20 for drinks when you just had a coke; and then another £80 in petrol when it actually only costs £20 to get home without giving people lifts. So for an evening that should cost £22 with no drink involved, it ends up being £100 and that's just not cricket.

*Put the correct values into the equation - I just made those up but you get the gist.

Ta - have one coming up in around a month's time, so will put that into practice!:)

FBaby

Reading this thread, I am starting to think there are friends and 'friends' the lattest being more driking mates....

Surely as friends, you would care that someone is nicely offering to take everyone home and that simply by that fact, they should insure that decision which benefit them greatly doesn't not cost their 'friend' significantly more than it is costing them. All I see here are mates taking advantage of circumstances rather than caring friends.

There is no doubt that I wouldn't keep such 'friends'. They are probably the same 'friends' who would find all the excuses in the world not to be there for you when you need them the most...

PasturesNew

Dunroamin wrote: »

A general question for those who say that they go out for dinner and only have one course and don't drink - what do you do for the rest of the evening while everyone else is eating and drinking?

Well - they're also usually chatting, so sit and join in or listen.

Starters don't take long to wolf down... nor does dessert. So it's not an issue.

I've also rarely been anywhere where everybody has a starter and/or everybody has a dessert. Nobody notices.... it's not like everybody sits with their arms by their sides, silently, waiting for each course.