Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

lesleyb

SandC wrote: »

Used to get that with a certain group with drinks Lesley. 2 couples and 2 singles so 6 in total. Couples considered themselves as one round. But couldn't comprehend that their system was totally unfair on the 2 singles in the group. :mad::D

Problem solved by the 2 singles (me and another) doing our own thing after this happened a couple of times.

We often meet a single friend for drinks and always buy 2 rounds to his 1 to make it fair, he always says there's no need to but makes it fairer

PasturesNew

lesleyb wrote: »

We were out once with a large group and two couples had bought their sons (1 aged 21 the other 1 was 16) when the bill came and it was time to pay one of the fathers declared that 'kids don't pay' so the bill was split between 8 couples, then he didn't have enough to pay his share!
We ended up paying more for 2 than he did for 3, don't really go out with them much now lol.

pfft... kids eat free. No they don't. If they wanted their kids to eat free (and at that age they were adults) they should have gone to a place that said kids eat free.... and at 21 and 16 I bet most places would have laughed in their faces.

I'd have asked the waiter for a tea towel for them - and pointed them towards the kitchen.

PasturesNew

lesleyb wrote: »

We often meet a single friend for drinks and always buy 2 rounds to his 1 to make it fair, he always says there's no need to but makes it fairer

I had this when out with a couple. Both had been continously employed in high paying jobs forever. Their house, costing peanuts nearly 30 years ago was paid for, no kids. All their money was for fun, fun, fun. Income wise, my income as a household was about 1/8th of theirs. We went to the pub, I bought a half (me), pint (him), soft drink (her). Next he bought the same round. Then they thought it was my turn again. I explained it to them... and they seemed to have to get their heads round the fact that everybody buys a round.... and it wasn't my turn until she'd bought one.

Doom_and_Gloom

My partner and I are people who pay our own share + tip. When we order we make note of what it came to and then add a tip - usually rounding up to the nearest pound to make it easier (we do this when we order so no suprises for us). We don't see this as being tight. We don't go out to eat often and when we do we have to make sure we stick to the budget we have. We have friends who earn loads more than us aswell as a few friends who are just on JSA so no one takes offence to paying for what they order as no one gets hit with a bill they can't afford - the ones who earn more do order more expencive foods and drinks.

We are going to be going out next month to eat - we are staying with a friend of mine as they bought concert tickets for us for Yule. We have been saving most of our entertainment budget and our allowences since we found out we would be going. We will need to pay for train to get there and back (this is basically £50 alone :eek:), travel around for the few days we are there and eating out a few days as well as a few drinks out :eek: - back home we will be having a friend stay with the furries so food for them, a bus pass, a gift of thank you etc (they will have have use of the internet which they don't have at their home so they will have a gain there as well). We have nearly saved enough for the budget . The friends we are staying at have two full time incomes coming in whereas we do not. We will be buying a bottle of alcohol for them and a few other bits as staying with them means no hotel costs (if we had to pay for hotel it would be impossible to stay as long as we are planning).
I'm very sure my friends would rather us pay for what we have while out and be able to stay down an extra day then split the bill and have to go home earlier. We will be asking if we can cook at theirs at least once while there though - last time we went we lived with my parents so our budget wasn't as tight and we ate out every day there .
Thankfully all our friends know how hard we save to do these kind of events - we go without, eat cheaper meals more often, don't buy a cheap (£5 or less) DVD for movie night but re-watch an old one etc.
They would rather we all pay our own way and be able to do these meals/days out than say 'oh we split it evenly' and for one/some of us not be able to go. Surely friends understand these things. It's horrible that some people think that wanting to pay for only there share + tip is stingy/tight etc.

Oh by the way growing up I saw my parents get screwed over constantly by friends of theirs that said split the bill all the time. We were a family of 4 as were they. However they would always buy expencive meals and drinks. They always used to say how well priced the places that we went to were. One day my parents turned around and said enough was enough, they were going to pay for us only and they their family. It's odd how from then on they would say the same places were very expencive and didn't understand why the same places had put up their prices soo much :wall:. Just to top it off this family also had more coming in and no mortgage as they had bought their council house while my parents had a mortgage and not on a reduce cost council house either :mad:. This is why I've never gone for the 'oh we split the costs evenly yes?' line.

zippybungle

I find that if you go out as a large group for a meal, it is best to order drinks (and pay for them) separately at the bar, rather than adding them onto your bill at the end of the meal everyones happy :T

Zippy x

lesleyb

PasturesNew wrote: »

pfft... kids eat free. No they don't. If they wanted their kids to eat free (and at that age they were adults) they should have gone to a place that said kids eat free.... and at 21 and 16 I bet most places would have laughed in their faces.

I'd have asked the waiter for a tea towel for them - and pointed them towards the kitchen.

Lol Love it! They both ate as adults and 1 drunk as much as the other adults on our table. The other lad had soft drinks all night but a couple of cokes cost as much as a glass of wine.
I think it was the fact that both families of 3 ended up paying an awful lot less than each couple that made us all think there was something not quite right!

sassyblue

lesleyb wrote: »

We were out once with a large group and two couples had bought their sons (1 aged 21 the other 1 was 16) when the bill came and it was time to pay one of the fathers declared that 'kids don't pay' so the bill was split between 8 couples, then he didn't have enough to pay his share!
We ended up paying more for 2 than he did for 3, don't really go out with them much now lol.

Outrageous! You see it's the ones who'll end up paying the most who usually work out splitting the bill will benefit them and so suggest it.

I'd have been mortified if l was his wife, l can't abide that sort of stingyness or cheek. :mad:

ipod_killed_the_musicshop

elvis86 wrote: »

Ultimately, I guess this is what will happen and is kind of a solution.

Anyone who objects to splitting the bill when dining out will eventually stop inviting me, and will stick to socialising with others who are equally as stingey. I wish them good luck as they sit in silence with a group of equally tightfisted cretins, deep in concentration scrutinising the bill and rejoicing when their share is £2 less than the person next to them.:cool:

Similarly, someone who uneccessarily sits calculating their share to the nearest penny at the end of every meal will be dropped by me pretty sharpish because I find it embarassing to be seen out with someone like that. I'll stick to dining out with people who don't begrudge me a couple of quid, and who prefer to spend the evening enjoying my company, and will continue to show appropriate consideration in instances where I order anything overly expensive, and to suggest that anyone who has consumed considerably less contributes less.

Everyone's happy.:T

That last bit is fair enough. The problem is when people take the mick, which from what I remember is what the original post in the thread is about.

rose_blanche

Hmm, this strikes a chord! Went out with OH's family to a fancy french restaurant for a birthday celebration. We really don't have any spare cash (which they are fully aware of), so just chose the main dish of the day at £10 each. We had a glass each of the wine ordered. No idea what it was, or the cost, as we didn't see the wine menu, it was ordered by the family. We assumed we would all pay our own way...

His brother ordered live lobster, freshly prepared sole and a grand manier souffle. He turned out to be the main !!!! taker, but all the others had starters, mains, puddings and coffee and liquers.

So, when the bill came and the brother insisted it be split, instead of £20 plus wine, so say £30 total, we were asked for £150 it came as a bit of a shock!

Yes, it is nice to enjoy a meal with family, but there are limits. Never will we be caught again....

YORKSHIRELASS

I always drive when I go out with my friends for a meal because I live further away. We always split the bill then knock off a bit for wine from my share. I always leave it to someone else to suggest an amount and there has never been a problem with this.

I usually end up giving at least one person a lift home and they appreciate this and I am driving anyway so I dont mind.

I have to say though if I was out with people I didnt know well I wouldnt make a big deal out of it.