Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

burnoutbabe

surely its up to the people ordering less to pipe up at the start "we don't want to split the bill". then the rest who don't care if they are up a few quid or down just split (and can all match courses and number of drinks)

having to work out the exact bill for more than say 2 couples is a hassle and kills the end of an evening.

chanie

When we arrive at a restaurant, I will say what I'm willing to do, before we eat. I dont' mind putting a couple of £££ extra, but I think anything over about £5 is too much of a subsidy. Things are tighter for me finanically since getting a mortgage and starting a family, so there is a genuine reason.


I've been caught out a couple of times:

1) ordered a set meal for about £15 and then 5 of us ordered a couple of jugs of sangria, so the total bill would have been £25 tops (including a tip). However, somebody at the other end of hte table, ordered a £70 bottle of wine and the person who invited us told us to stop being tight, so I ended up paying some like £35. I was quite young and I had much more disposable income, so it wasn't too bad.

2) another set meal, most people ordered a steak and cocktail - again, £25. However, when everyone had allegedly paid, we were still short and many people refused to top up. I ended up putting in another tenner.

elvis86

burnoutbabe wrote: »

surely its up to the people ordering less to pipe up at the start "we don't want to split the bill". then the rest who don't care if they are up a few quid or down just split (and can all match courses and number of drinks)

..or they could just order what they want and not get their knickers in a twist about the fact that they might have consumed £23.50 worth and paid for £25 worth, whilst the person next to them might have consumed £27.25 worth and only paid £25?:cool:

burnoutbabe wrote: »

having to work out the exact bill for more than say 2 couples is a hassle and kills the end of an evening.

Agreed.

zaffi

Mojisola wrote: »

It's very inconsiderate of the people who order expensive food and drink to expect the bill to be split equally.

It isn't difficult, looking round a table, to see that some people are going for the cheaper items and minimal drinks.

Even if you were all on the same kind of income, why would you expect your friends to subsidise your evening out? And if some people are not as well off as you, it's totally unexceptable!

where do you draw the line?

last weekend i was out and buying a round of drinks for 6, 4 pints @ £3.60 and 2 cocktails @ £6. Should I have asked the girls to pay the difference between their drinks and the cheaper ones?

I would be devastated if a mate said "you can't have a pint of heineken as i'm having tennents and it's cheaper"

I love going out and meeting up with friends and would never worry over a split bill. It makes me quite sad to think of people effectively resenting their own friends for a couple of quid here or there, or worse thinking their friends have deliberately tried to screw them out of a few quid!!

I find that split bills tend to work themselves out, again last weekend went out in a big group, 15 or so. I had a big porterhouse steak, my wife had a chicken thing, but I didn't have tea or coffee, she did. her starter was king prawns mine was chicken wings and so on

elvis86

chanie wrote: »

When we arrive at a restaurant, I will say what I'm willing to do, before we eat.

Maybe it's just me, but do you not feel that this starts the night off on somewhat of a sour note, though? I prefer to greet the people with whom I'm dining with "How are you?", "What's new?", "You look great!" etc; not "Right, I'm not up for splitting the bill so lets all keep a note of what we order, okay?".

It just seems....uncouth?

chanie wrote: »

1) ordered a set meal for about £15 and then 5 of us ordered a couple of jugs of sangria, so the total bill would have been £25 tops (including a tip). However, somebody at the other end of hte table, ordered a £70 bottle of wine and the person who invited us told us to stop being tight, so I ended up paying some like £35. I was quite young and I had much more disposable income, so it wasn't too bad.

Obviously that was out of order, I doubt that anyone would be happy with that! In that scenario the person who had the wine should obviously have ensured that they accounted for that seperately. A £70 bottle of wine is obviously "out of the ordinary" where you're eating a £15 set menu and sharing jugs of Sangria.

chanie wrote: »

2) another set meal, most people ordered a steak and cocktail - again, £25. However, when everyone had allegedly paid, we were still short and many people refused to top up. I ended up putting in another tenner.

Which wouldn't have happened if the bill plus a tip was split X ways.;)

Mojisola

zaffi wrote: »

where do you draw the line?

last weekend i was out and buying a round of drinks for 6, 4 pints @ £3.60 and 2 cocktails @ £6. Should I have asked the girls to pay the difference between their drinks and the cheaper ones?

I would be devastated if a mate said "you can't have a pint of heineken as i'm having tennents and it's cheaper"

I love going out and meeting up with friends and would never worry over a split bill. It makes me quite sad to think of people effectively resenting their own friends for a couple of quid here or there, or worse thinking their friends have deliberately tried to screw them out of a few quid!!

I find that split bills tend to work themselves out, again last weekend went out in a big group, 15 or so. I had a big porterhouse steak, my wife had a chicken thing, but I didn't have tea or coffee, she did. her starter was king prawns mine was chicken wings and so on

If you're in a group where this happens, splitting bills is an easy way to go. If you knew one of your mates was really struggling financially, would you still ask for the expensive drink when it was his round?

I wonder if the people who are most happy with splitting the bills are those who have always had a bit of money to spare? I remember the times when a lot of people were watching every penny and an unexpected outlay could seriously impact on the next week's spending. If you're in that position and get caught out a couple of times, you stop going out.

adouglasmhor

I don't eat meat, I weigh in at around 19stone so I am not skinny and I often struggle to eat 3 courses at a meal out and I don't like many desserts (and dairy makes me congested especially if I am drinking and it will be there in most desserts), if I am drinking I will have a spirit instead of a dessert if not drinking an espresso or a black coffee. I don't mind paying a bit over the odds (or sometimes I pay for my nieces of GF’s nieces).
A few quid over is one thing, subsidising a glutton or two who are taking the pïss is another.

krlyr

elvis86 wrote: »

Maybe it's just me, but do you not feel that this starts the night off on somewhat of a sour note, though? I prefer to greet the people with whom I'm dining with "How are you?", "What's new?", "You look great!" etc; not "Right, I'm not up for splitting the bill so lets all keep a note of what we order, okay?".

It just seems....uncouth?

Not really, and if you're amongst friends or family, why would they take offense at you being honest? My friends and family respect that we were saving for a house for the last couple of years and now have a mortgage to cover, they're not offended at us admitting we're watching the pennies and we're not embarassed to say so.
Don't know why it's being made out to be so complicated, you read the menu, you make a note that you ordered a main at £6.75, a side at £4.25, 2 drinks at £1.50, no starter or pudding, you owe £14 plus tip. Decide if you want to tip £1.40 or if you want to just add in your share of the 10% of the whole meal (I'd probably just round up and chuck in £16). Most mobile phones have a calculator on them nowadays, takes 30 seconds of your time and you have no resentment at the end of the night.
I think people are dramatising it a bit (on both sides, to be fair), we can watch our pennies and not sit there drooling at people's starters (being someone who's not a fan of fish, mushrooms or soups, it rules out most starters for me anyway, I'm not sure I've ever actually ordered a starter in a restaurant other than when it's been a set 3-course meal), I can't get through a soft drink that quickly anyway so one glass tends to last me a whole meal without me making an effort to stretch it out, and often I'm full up by the time we get to dessert because main meal portions do tend to be pretty generous in most restaurants.

poet123

adouglasmhor wrote: »

I don't eat meat, I weigh in at around 19stone so I am not skinny and I often struggle to eat 3 courses at a meal out and I don't like many desserts (and dairy makes me congested especially if I am drinking and it will be there in most desserts), if I am drinking I will have a spirit instead of a dessert if not drinking an espresso or a black coffee. I don't mind paying a bit over the odds (or sometimes I pay for my nieces of GF’s nieces).
A few quid over is one thing, subsidising a glutton or two who are taking the pïss is another.

You really think that it is gluttony to eat three courses with wine at a restaurant?

psychopathbabble

I've had to do this before, it was my housemates birthday and we had two mains for £12 voucher so I ordered a main and had tap water... they all had starters and alcohol, then wanted to split it! I had to point out I had £8 on me and couldn't afford to pay the rest. It was embarassing but then I'd only gone on the basis that the meal would cost me £6.

It's different if you are all drinking etc etc, then I don't mind splitting so much, but not when you are on a tight strict budget and have only had one or two things.