Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

[Deleted User]

So, basically, the people who object to splitting the bill are typically those who have the least money to start with.

I can understand; you are being asked to subsidise the cost of the meals of people who have more money than you anyway

FatVonD

elvis86 wrote: »

Maybe it's just me, but do you not feel that this starts the night off on somewhat of a sour note, though? I prefer to greet the people with whom I'm dining with "How are you?", "What's new?", "You look great!" etc; not "Right, I'm not up for splitting the bill so lets all keep a note of what we order, okay?".

It just seems....uncouth?

I very much doubt that would be anyone's opening greeting, it's far more likely to be at a casual 'do you mind if I get a separate bill as I'm on a budget this month' at the time of ordering which I think is perfectly acceptable.

elvis86 wrote: »

Obviously that was out of order, I doubt that anyone would be happy with that! In that scenario the person who had the wine should obviously have ensured that they accounted for that seperately. A £70 bottle of wine is obviously "out of the ordinary" where you're eating a £15 set menu and sharing jugs of Sangria.
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That situation sounds like a large party (since the poster mentioned the person being at the other end of the table) so, split across another 14 people, that would mean an extra fiver on everyone's bill, much the same as the extra the OP had to pay.

I don't think the OP mentioned the size of the party but assuming it was 6 to 8 people the other 5 or 7 would have had to have ordered around £6 worth of food/drinks each more than the OP for her share to have been £5 more.

elvis86

krlyr wrote: »

Don't know why it's being made out to be so complicated, you read the menu, you make a note that you ordered a main at £6.75, a side at £4.25, 2 drinks at £1.50, no starter or pudding, you owe £14 plus tip. Decide if you want to tip £1.40 or if you want to just add in your share of the 10% of the whole meal (I'd probably just round up and chuck in £16). Most mobile phones have a calculator on them nowadays, takes 30 seconds of your time and you have no resentment at the end of the night.

Or, you concentrate on enjoying the company you're with rather than "noting down" how much your choices cost (do you bring out a notepad at the table for this or due to type out a message on your phone?). You don't cringe-inducingly sit there like idiots at the end of the evening referring back to the menu and tapping away at your phones. You see that the total bill for the 4 of you comes to £60, work out that this is £15 a head and round up to £17 each to allow for a tip (taking all of 5 seconds).

Would you really feel resentment over £1 amongst friends..?

In truth, where nobody has ordered a £70 bottle of wine or lobster whilst everyone else drinks lager and eats burgers, the difference will more than often be nominal. I think it's tightfisted to quibble over a couple of quid, and it's stupid to be eating out if you're so poor that spending a couple of quid extra will have such a huge impact on you.

Zimm190

BLUEBIE wrote: »

Not where I work, the menu's are on the table, its an itemised bill, they just either can't work it out or can't be bothered. We can't give more than 1 bill to each table as the table number is the number the bill goes under, if that makes sense? I'm sure there are better systems out there.

Also if you are going to split the bill / each pay for your own sort it out between you and either all pay cash or put it on one persons card and give him / her the money, trying to do 8 card payments on a busy night is a !!!!!!!g nightmare, esp when they start getting declined, but thats another story.

I wish paying separately wasn't such a massive hassle in this country. I really don't see why it needs to be. I lived in Germany for four years and each person paying individually is completely the norm, in fact the waiter even asks "together or separate?" before bringing you the bill.

In a large group of people eating out after work, everyone leaves at different times etc. When you're ready to go, you signal for the waiter, say you'd like to pay, tell them what you had, they add it up, and you pay (with card or cash). So easy.

adouglasmhor

poet123 wrote: »

You really think that it is gluttony to eat three courses with wine at a restaurant?

No but having 3 pitchers of cocktails as well as the dearest wine each alongside it then expecting everyone else to pay is. You will note I mentioned taking the pïss, not just having a normal meal with accompanying drinks.

Abbafan1972

It's much easier when people go out for a chinese buffet or whatever, because then everyone's food bill will be the same, so it's much easier to work out and then I don't mind putting something towards the drinks.

elvis86

FatVonD wrote: »

That situation sounds like a large party (since the poster mentioned the person being at the other end of the table) so, split across another 14 people, that would mean an extra fiver on everyone's bill, much the same as the extra the OP had to pay.

I don't think the OP mentioned the size of the party but assuming it was 6 to 8 people the other 5 or 7 would have had to have ordered around £6 worth of food/drinks each more than the OP for her share to have been £5 more.

Is it not different though, if everyone is ordering from a £15 set menu and drinking shared £10 jugs of Sangria, and one person orders a £70 bottle of wine? Surely then the onus is on that person to offer to pay more in recognition of the significantly more costly item they consumed in comparison to everyone else?

In the OP's situation, it was a set price for an all-you-can-eat buffet (which is part of the reason I'm personally shocked that someone would argue over splitting the bill!), so the difference presumably came from drinks. She was out with family, presumably everyone else (including her OH) had a beer or 2, she had a coke (and accepted a coke from her FIL). So her drink maybe contributed £2 to the bill, a couple of people had a beer at £3 and a few others maybe 2 beers at £6. Hell, maybe the birthday girl had 3 drinks. In that scenario, when it meant a fiver extra on my bill, I wouldn't be so miserly as to object.

Dontknowanymore

I would just say, I'm only paying for what I've had, have done and will do again.
If I'm with people and we have all ordered very similar then I wouldn't bother, but if out for a meal and alcohol is being ordered and I aint drinkin any of it, you have to be mad to think I'm gonna pay for it!
If that makes me tight then so be it

adouglasmhor

elvis86 wrote: »

Or, you concentrate on enjoying the company you're with rather than "noting down" how much your choices cost (do you bring out a notepad at the table for this or due to type out a message on your phone?). You don't cringe-inducingly sit there like idiots at the end of the evening referring back to the menu and tapping away at your phones. You see that the total bill for the 4 of you comes to £60, work out that this is £15 a head and round up to £17 each to allow for a tip (taking all of 5 seconds).

Would you really feel resentment over £1 amongst friends..?

In truth, where nobody has ordered a £70 bottle of wine or lobster whilst everyone else drinks lager and eats burgers, the difference will more than often be nominal. I think it's tightfisted to quibble over a couple of quid, and it's stupid to be eating out if you're so poor that spending a couple of quid extra will have such a huge impact on you.

I have no problem keeping a rough running total of what me and the GF have had and any kids I am buying a meal for, you don’t need to do it to the penny, you don't need to write it down, you don't need to use a phone, don't need use your fingers, don't even need to concentrate. I have caught out more than one place trying to charge us for extra drinks by doing this, I imagine most people would not have noticed. But you are right a few quid is not going to break the bank or spoil my enjoyment of the evening.

*Louise*

krlyr wrote: »

Don't know why it's being made out to be so complicated, you read the menu, you make a note that you ordered a main at £6.75, a side at £4.25, 2 drinks at £1.50, no starter or pudding, you owe £14 plus tip. Decide if you want to tip £1.40 or if you want to just add in your share of the 10% of the whole meal (I'd probably just round up and chuck in £16).

See, in that situation I would just chuck in a £20, save faffing about with coins. (If it was x2, ie OH and I, I would just round it to £35 not £40 though!)

I don't mind paying a few quid extra to save hassle, but if it's hitting £10 extra or because someone has ordered expensive wines (taking the mick) then I would start to feel a bit miffed.