Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

JodyBPM

I would have thought you were cutting it fine on £20 for £16 of food, plus 2 drinks plus share of the tip and other incidentals (plating charge for birthday cake etc) tbh.

In general, I prefer to split the bill, but discounted for non drinkers if the others have been drinking very heavily. Eg £130 between 4, when 1 didn't drink would be split £35, £35, £35, £25 etc

When people put in "their own" I find they tend to forget the tip, any shared starters / bread & olives etc, and definitely seem to think that if they're drinking non-alcoholic drinks that they're free, whereas often restaurants charge about £2-3 per glass for coke, but only £8 or £9 for the cheapest house red, so if you've had 3 cokes, you're close to having drunk as much in £s as someone drinking a whole bottle of house wine. In general I would view someone who asked to pay for their own and totted it all up as being tight, unless they had said at the outset that money was tight and they were sticking to cheap choices of the menu etc.

TheConways

Having read all 11 pages of this thread (and I'm a bill splitter, and i wouldn't hesitate to add some extra cash if i'd been quaffing extra drinking/courses), i've come to the conclusion that some people need to find some better friends!

If you're on a budget, ask for a separate bill at the start of the meal when ordering. Then you can relax and enjoy the meal.

If you are ordering additional items, when others are not, don't be so rude to assume you can split the bill.

scooterpig

I don't really mind either way how the bill is split, however, what annoys me is inconsistency! I have one friend I used to go out with regularly. If she had something cheap, she'd want to only pay for for she had, but if she had something expensive, or multiple courses, she'd want to split the bill equally even if I only had one course, and would never put in for the tip. I eventually pointed out to her that it wasn't on, as she seemed to think I should subsidise her no matter what.

I have another group of friends who're always happy to split equally. On one occasion we went out for my birthday, which is shortly before one of the others. Normally we do separate nights for each birthday. However, on this occasion the other girl's sister was there and she wanted us to pay the other, forthcoming birthday girl's bill. I was really annoyed as it was supposed to be my birthday night (my birthday is at a very awkward time of year so I seldom get any sort of night out or anything), I'd organised it (and given everyone a lift) and no one suggested paying for mine. I let it go, but it totally ruined the night for me.

jane130

I go out with a group of girls quiet regularly , we always split the bill .

sometimes one of us doesn't drink or someone will pass on dessert, I skipped a starter and the wine last time as morning sickness was affecting me , there are all sorts of variables but we are all grown ups and understand that though we may pay a bit more this time , next time we might get a bit of a bargain because we've had a bit more .

but then we are aware if someone has money problems and has eatten frugally so we often all put in a bit extra to cover so that she can pay less . I guess its called friendship

Nicki

Given that you have to broach the issue at some point if you don't want to split the bill, I don't see why it is such a problem for those needing to be frugal to say either at the point of invitation or at the point of ordering that they would like to run their own tab, and why they think this is more awkward or embarrassing than making a scene when the bill appears? What this thread has shown is that there is more than one "right" way of handling things when the bill arrives, with some assuming it will be split equally and others that each person will pay for their own, so given that both outcomes are possible, why not just set out your position at the outset?

poet123

jane130 wrote: »

I go out with a group of girls quiet regularly , we always split the bill .

sometimes one of us doesn't drink or someone will pass on dessert, I skipped a starter and the wine last time as morning sickness was affecting me , there are all sorts of variables but we are all grown ups and understand that though we may pay a bit more this time , next time we might get a bit of a bargain because we've had a bit more .

but then we are aware if someone has money problems and has eatten frugally so we often all put in a bit extra to cover so that she can pay less . I guess its called friendship

As an aside and completely none of my business, but do you think it wise to give so much detail re the children in your sig?

lesleyb

We usually split the bill by however many people are there, paying extra if we have eaten or drunk more than others.
We were out once with a large group and two couples had bought their sons (1 aged 21 the other 1 was 16) when the bill came and it was time to pay one of the fathers declared that 'kids don't pay' so the bill was split between 8 couples, then he didn't have enough to pay his share!
We ended up paying more for 2 than he did for 3, don't really go out with them much now lol.

SandC

Used to get that with a certain group with drinks Lesley. 2 couples and 2 singles so 6 in total. Couples considered themselves as one round. But couldn't comprehend that their system was totally unfair on the 2 singles in the group. :mad::D

Problem solved by the 2 singles (me and another) doing our own thing after this happened a couple of times.

jane130

we are going out for a family meal tomorrow - I will be insisting we split the bill - anyone who complains can pay for their own before I mention the fact that the bill is being reduced by a very generous £100 from my grandmother

elvis86

lesleyb wrote: »

We usually split the bill by however many people are there, paying extra if we have eaten or drunk more than others.
We were out once with a large group and two couples had bought their sons (1 aged 21 the other 1 was 16) when the bill came and it was time to pay one of the fathers declared that 'kids don't pay' so the bill was split between 8 couples, then he didn't have enough to pay his share!
We ended up paying more for 2 than he did for 3, don't really go out with them much now lol.

SandC wrote: »

Used to get that with a certain group with drinks Lesley. 2 couples and 2 singles so 6 in total. Couples considered themselves as one round. But couldn't comprehend that their system was totally unfair on the 2 singles in the group. :mad::D

Problem solved by the 2 singles (me and another) doing our own thing after this happened a couple of times.

Ultimately, I guess this is what will happen and is kind of a solution.

Anyone who objects to splitting the bill when dining out will eventually stop inviting me, and will stick to socialising with others who are equally as stingey. I wish them good luck as they sit in silence with a group of equally tightfisted cretins, deep in concentration scrutinising the bill and rejoicing when their share is £2 less than the person next to them.:cool:

Similarly, someone who uneccessarily sits calculating their share to the nearest penny at the end of every meal will be dropped by me pretty sharpish because I find it embarassing to be seen out with someone like that. I'll stick to dining out with people who don't begrudge me a couple of quid, and who prefer to spend the evening enjoying my company, and will continue to show appropriate consideration in instances where I order anything overly expensive, and to suggest that anyone who has consumed considerably less contributes less.

Everyone's happy.:T