Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

thegirlintheattic

PasturesNew wrote: »

Mostly, yes they are - or they drink far too much. Sitting there ordering bottles of wine and brandies.... while I am on a jug of water. I've never known somebody to say "split the bill" that didn't weigh at least 50% more than me - and wasn't p155ed.

Maybe you should change the people you dine with then, especially as you seem to hold such a hatred for them.

I'm tiny and eat very little yet don't balk at spliting the bill. Nothing more pathetic than a group of adults adding up every single penny spent and squabbling over it. Usually, unless you are dining with very selfish people, it works out about equal anyway as some people will have had a starter but no desert, some will have had wine but only a main etc.

PasturesNew

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Maybe you should change the people you dine with then, especially as you seem to hold such a hatred for them.

It's called "trying to make friends". When you're asked for a meal, you go if you can. Most of these people will be strangers, or the OH/friends of the people you know... you don't know until you go that there'll be an annoying tw4t there do you.

In a work colleague scenario this counts as "team building" and "being a team player" - so there's that pressure too for many, quite often. Everybody's going out because somebody's leaving and they're meeting at a pub at 7, then on for something to eat. Anybody could be round that table. Work colleagues, their partners, friends/neighbours of anybody.

You can't just never go for a meal if there's people there you don't know .... if you don't know anybody.

elvis86

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've never been to a pasta place and not been to a pizza place for about 20+ years. I've tended to have an indian after a couple of pints in a pub with a couple of the lads.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I don't belong to a family that has ever gone out for family meals, so my eating out experiences are limited in opportunity.

PasturesNew wrote: »

Most of the places I've eaten out, there's probably not a great deal of difference. It's usually pub meals and indians. Pub meals are usually carveries - I try to go once a year. Indians are tricky, can't find anybody that likes indian, so not been in an indian restaurant since 2009. Not been in a chinese restaurant for donkeys years either - nearly did, but the one my aunt/I spotted wasn't doing a buffet that night, so we ended up having a pub meal instead - and as that was the first time I'd seen my aunt for 45 years I won't be getting the chance again soon.

I'm highly amused that you've been one of the most passionate contributors to this thread, deploring the selfishness of people who split bills, despite your experience of dining out being limited to going for an Indian 3 years ago, "nearly" visiting a Chinese restaurant once, and a pub carvery once a year!?:D:D:D

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've tried suggesting people go out for a meal many times in the past, but people either can't make it, or don't like the food at the places I want to try.... e.g. I've always wanted to try an indian buffet meal, but never found anybody that wanted one of those on a mid-week night when I saw them advertised.

Why am I not surprised?! They probably all know what a miserable tightwad you are!

I wouldn't want to go for dinner with someone who spent more time scrutinising what I ordered and consumed than they did enjoying my company, and who caused a cringemaking scene at the end of the evening by studying the menu and adding up to the penny what they were liable for, making it very clear that they resented paying for a single morsel that had passed my lips.

roddydogs

BLUEBIE wrote: »

I work in a restaurant and its a complete pain in the ar*e when people split the bill to the penny, they ask for the bill then come up with 8 different debit cards to pay on which takes more time than dealing with cash, then instead of even bothering to work out who owes what they will just hand you the bill back and say ' I had steak, chocolate cake and a stella' and hand you their card. Not only are they tight, they are too thick to work out what they owe. And I have to ignore the rest of my tables for ten minutes doing it for them. And on the whole the people who split the bill to the penny are usually the ones who won't leave a tip after all that.

Just my experience.

B

Thats because they always take the menu away and you cant check the prices, and how many time do they "Accidently" add items not even ordered, or put an "Extra" bottle of wine?

adouglasmhor

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I mean they are more likely to 'not follow the herd' and skip a desert when everyone else is having one/get a glass of tap water when others are drinking wine, then complain about splitting.. It drives my wife crazy when her friends eat out as there is one 'persistent offender',

I think men are more use to buying rounds, so can accept that sometimes you spend a little bit more when sharing bills. Also, there's a hefty dose of male ego

All the groups I drink with (and it is only occasionaly) do a kitty, non drinkers put in half the amount of the rest at the start and then a couple of quid when we refil the kittty. But it's not that uncommon here, pubs will give you a clean pint or half pint glass to keep the kitty in. Eating out - usually we start in the pub then move on to somewhere to eat, so it's meal and one drink anyway then back to another pub.

BLUEBIE

roddydogs wrote: »

Thats because they always take the menu away and you cant check the prices, and how many time do they "Accidently" add items not even ordered, or put an "Extra" bottle of wine?

Not where I work, the menu's are on the table, its an itemised bill, they just either can't work it out or can't be bothered. We can't give more than 1 bill to each table as the table number is the number the bill goes under, if that makes sense? I'm sure there are better systems out there.

Also if you are going to split the bill / each pay for your own sort it out between you and either all pay cash or put it on one persons card and give him / her the money, trying to do 8 card payments on a busy night is a !!!!!!!g nightmare, esp when they start getting declined, but thats another story.

166million

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Here's being controversial - i've found that women are more awkward when it comes to splitting the bill than men.

Blokes will generally eat about the same, drink about the same, then not get to fussed when the bill is split.

When it came to my wife's 30th birthday, we went to a nice restaurant, everyone knew it was £25 a head each and I settled everyones drinks bill and paid for her best friend who had traveled a long way to get there. Cost a couple of hundred quid but it made for a lot less fuss. I didn't tell them I was paying the drinks bill until the bill was due

I do the same as you - and I'm a woman. But I would budget especially for big events like this and sort out who is paying how much beforehand.

[Deleted User]

Makes me wish I could actually eat out ever! Two kids under 3 (and all our friends in the same situation) means i don't mind paying a bit more to get out the house!!

CH27

Fredula wrote: »

To be fair, this was the first time I'd met OH's family (with the exception of his parents and grandparents), so I wasn't exactly going to pipe up and say "Well, hang on a minute, I'm not up for that!". Although I agree that in future, saying before the start of the meal that I'm paying for my own will be the way to go. The thing I was most annoyed about was that when they asked if anyone wanted anymore starters, I said yes and everyone else said no, so they brought the mains. What can you do eh.

Also, me and OH do share our finances now, but at the time, we were living separately so our finances were separate. Now that we live together, have a son (coincidentally it was the day after the meal I found out I was 5 and a half months preggers) and are saving for a house together, our finances are shared.

This time when we go out, (the only reason we're going is so that they can all see the babbers - or we wouldn't be going), OH is going to talk to his Mum (as it's her side of the family) and let her know that we're paying for ours.

Oh, also, it was a fiver that OH had to make up for me. And yes £20 cash is enough to go out with. I am a tomboy - I've never done handbags and never will. I do however like rucksacks, although you can't quite get away with taking one of those to a chinese restaurant :P

So really you should have been prepared for all eventualities.

Mojisola

It's very inconsiderate of the people who order expensive food and drink to expect the bill to be split equally.

It isn't difficult, looking round a table, to see that some people are going for the cheaper items and minimal drinks.

Even if you were all on the same kind of income, why would you expect your friends to subsidise your evening out? And if some people are not as well off as you, it's totally unexceptable!