Poll - Did you have a good mother?

Deep_In_Debt

My mum had and still has, mental health issues which she's never properly addressed. She's always been difficult and very critical of me as I don't have the brains or the looks that the rest of the immediate family do.

She's quite shallow too and is only impressed with people who are academic as she is one herself...I never made the grade! I do ok for myself, have my own place with mortgage and it is still not good enough...and designer clothes matter to her too...

My Gran was the same and treated my mum the same.

That said, my mum is great in a lot of ways and I do love her...I've just accepted that I will never be the daughter that she wanted in terms of being academic, stylish, beautiful, etc...

jellyhead

My mum was only 16 when I was born, and although she was a good mum and has never been a bad mum I think she's got better as she's got older. I never felt close to her until I had my own child, and until I got older I thought that the lack of closeness was because she didn't like me as much as she liked my sister, but now I see how personality affects things, and that I must have been quite difficult for a teenager to bring up, because I was a prickly standoffish child.

I'm a very different sort of parent to how she was, but I think we all have something about our parents that we would do differently or think they got wrong.

To sum up I'd say yes she's a good mum, even though there are aspects of her parenting that I think I'd have done differently. She's always on call if any of us ask for anything and we all know she'd do anything to help, so yes.

daska

I voted no on the basis that mum died last year and while my sister will be in bits at the very mention of her I find her not being around very much more enjoyable than when we had to put up with her.

looby75

I've just had another thought. I do have a fantastic mother, she's my mother in law. I love her so much and she does so much for me (as does my FIL) In the last 19 years she has been my friend, my advisor and a fantastic grandmother to my children. We have had the odd falling out over the years and I'm ashamed to say looking back they were pretty much all my fault, but she never bears a grudge. She's stubborn but usually right and I am very very lucky to have found her.

The first thing she said to me after I found out her son was having an affair and left me was that she would never turn her back on me and she never has. I would be totally stuffed with out my inlaws.

A good mother doesn't have to be related by blood

Shovel_Lad

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Abused children usually idolise their (dreadful) parents afterall.

Do they? Care to back that up with any kind of evidence or is it just wishful thinking?

jellyhead

Sad that 30% are saying no

I hope that even if my boys grow up thinking I was a rubbish mum that they will at least know how loved they are and that I'd do anything for them.

puppypants

I lost my Mum on 2nd March, so still very raw. She was a very gentle, dignified lady and will be much missed.

looby75

puppypants wrote: »

I lost my Mum on 2nd March, so still very raw. She was a very gentle, dignified lady and will be much missed.

oh I am so very sorry for your loss

shegirl

londonsurrey wrote: »

It's a figure of speech, I was referring to the idealised notion of motherhood. Mother's Day is coming up, and it can be lonely for those without good mothers.

People have some understanding that there are some in society who are alone at Christmas. Mother's Day is nice for people with nice mothers, but it is rather salt in the wound for those abusive mothers who offer their offspring to sexual predators, etc.

My mother is a vile,evil dog of the female gender.

Definately no salt in the wound over Mothers Day though,never even considered people being upset or lonely on Mothers Day due to having a carp mother :-s

shegirl

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

Do they? Care to back that up with any kind of evidence or is it just wishful thinking?

Many will appear to and do anything to please or try desperately to focus on the good bits (and talk about the good bits),part of attachment issues really.But it doesn't mean that they truely idolise them or even falsely idolise them really.More a case of holding onto what they can and trying to get that more