Poll - Did you have a good mother?

londonsurrey

I'm interested in seeing if the happy families thing is the prevalent or not.

It's a private poll, so how you vote will not be revealed.

kingfisherblue

I still do have a good mother - even at 78 years old, she loves me and is there for me whenever I need her. She's a fantastic nan to my kids as well and they all voluntarily spend time with her (kids are 20, 13 and 12). I have a happy family on the whole, although we do encounter problems at times - like most people, I would imagine.

Incidentally, having a good mother may be immaterial to whether a family is happy or not. You can have a great mum and still have an unhappy family life, especially as adults, as family is often taken as being the people that you live with.

Mara69

I do understand what you are trying to do but think your poll is incredibly short sighted.

balletshoes

I have a great Mum .
But having a good Mum doesn't necessarily mean you have a happy family.

Emmzi

it's waaaayyyy more complicated than "yes/no"

for starters, define "good"

Scrapaholic

I had a lovely mam+ she was a loving grandma to our two children too . She died 22 years ago+ I wish she was still here . I hope I am as good a mam + grandma as she was . Dh's mam is 86 and has spent the last 36 yrs that I have known her , being, by her choice, rather un involved with our family . Don't know what he would put in your poll .

londonsurrey

It's a figure of speech, I was referring to the idealised notion of motherhood. Mother's Day is coming up, and it can be lonely for those without good mothers.

People have some understanding that there are some in society who are alone at Christmas. Mother's Day is nice for people with nice mothers, but it is rather salt in the wound for those abusive mothers who offer their offspring to sexual predators, etc.

Emmzi

I'll tick "yes" on the basis she didn't actually beat me then...

londonsurrey

Emmzi wrote: »

I'll tick "yes" on the basis she didn't actually beat me then...

Interesting. Along the same lines, I know someone whose mother used to break her fingers as punishment, but would tick "yes" on the basis that she didn't actually kill her.

scooby088

Yes even though she died when i was 17, maybe rose tinted glasses but thats all i have.

thorsoak

I think you need a section for "is/was as good a mother as she knew how".

My grandmother grew up in an orphanage/workhouse - was sent into service at age 13. At age 16, she married and my mother was born the same year. At the age of 6, my mother was having to "mother" her younger brother and sister (aged 4 & 2, I think) as my grandmother had to go into a munitions factory after my grandfather was missing presumed dead in WW1. Mum had to get her two siblings up, dress them, cook their breakfasts and dinners, do the family laundry (at the local baths) in order to help the family stay together.

Grandpa did come home, and a further 2 children added to the family, but mum always said that she lost her childhood.

When she married, she lost three babies in infancy before rearing 5 us us. Whilst ensuring that we did have a childhood, she also expected far more of us than did our friends' mothers - probably because of how she was reared. But she loved us dearly although she couldn't tell us until we were all adults, I think.