Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

esmy

OP if you do have a cut or tear to deal with (and you really won't feel it at the time) get a rubber ring to sit on when you go home - takes the pressure off your sore bits!

Good Luck!

sunshine_1988

Wow, thanks everyone for your comments.

My birthing partners will be my OH and my Mum. My OH is really patient and he has been great through the pregnancy so hopefully he keeps me calm, and my Mum just because I want her there We are quite similar and so hopefully she will be on my wavelength through some of it.

I've watched a few One Born Every Minutes, I like the calm ones and then the screaming young girls make me think - oooh if she can get through it....

I do have a couple of wimpy friends who have had babies, so I will bear them in mind too.

I really hope it happens soon, so I have all your lovely comments fresh in my mind Good luck to the other posters who are expecting too. xxx

silvercar

I had a lovely midwife. When I told her I would want an epidural at some point she suggested that there was little point in waiting until I was in pain and set one up before the contractions got bad. She even had to tell me when the contractions were coming. Luckily the epidural hadn't worn off by the time I was ready to deliver, so it was all pain free.

fawd1

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

1 word...epidural! ........
Think bad period pains.

I'm with you on the epidural, but I have to say after my first I thought labour was like bad period pains (when I got an epidural) after my second where I couldn't get an epidural or other pain relief because the midwife was satan, I would have described labour as a cross between bad period pains and having your bones pulled apart as if by tourniquet every 2 minutes, whilst being told that you're doing very well. Must confess, I told the midwife to f off and get me drugs, I didn't want to be doing well, I wanted a blimmin epidural!

jokeyjo

ive had 3 babies and only one piece of advice that is go with the flow of things if you need pain relief have it if you dont need it dont have itx

ginger_tony

I think giving birth is the most amazing feeling, its a strange one its really painfull yes im not gonna lie but as soon as my kids heads were out the pain disappeared. I had an epidural for my first birth I personally didnt like it or the gas and air as I like to be in control of faculties but everyone is different take what makes you feel better in yourself. I alway focus on I will have a new baby tommorrow and that keeps me going. My pet hate are people who go on about how bad labour is especially to first timers I think its cruel and would like to say it cant be that bad as we go on to have more kids, try not to worry but i know its easier said than done.
If you do have a tear(Not everyone gets them) put salt in the bath it does help, I also bought kids ice poles and wrapped it in a light weight material and placed it on my tear this take the edge off the discomfort. Check to see if there is a midwife who provides an aromatherapy service I got a midwife who was in charge of my after care and she gave me a solution she made up to help with my tear and it was amazing its worth asking about.
I would also recommend savoy cabbage for your boobs, take off leaves and put in the freezer, wear and old bra and place the savoy cabbage into you bra this gives a huge amount of relief for swollen breasts its a bit smelly but it works. I hope these ideas help and dont make you more frightened and most importantly enjoy your new baby.

ceegee

Oh,bless you, sunshine.

I remember how frightened I was (24 and 20 years ago). What really helped me was remembering what my sister had told me and that was:

it's the contractions which hurt and they are like really bad period pains. The actual birth is just hard physical slog, and you won't really be registering any pain by this time....just the knackering physical effort! Then it finishes! And you have a scrumptious little baby!

...............................................................................

I was cut, but the tiny little nick that you may feel is more than outweighed by the physical relief that you will also feel as it makes it so much easier for the baby to come out. The worst thing about being cut/tearing is having your feet up in stirrups afterwards whilst someone is face to face with your nether regions repairing the damage. But by this time you will have your precious baby in your arms, so a bit of indignity is neither here nor there!

Some things that worried me were:

!) Would I poo myself during the birth.:o The answer is....you don't, because the digestive system shuts down. The only thing that might happen is that a tiny little bit might come out if it is right down the bottom (!) of your system. If it does, the midwife just covers it up with a little pad of something or other.
Mind you, I passed an embarrassing amount of wind.:o I tried to hold it back but in the end it just had to come out! But I think it depends on whether or not you are a "windy" type of person anyway.:o But, honestly, you get to the point where you don't really give a toss about social niceties.:rotfl:

2) I was worried about.....ahem...."bowel movements" after the stitches. I was so worried about tearing the stitches that I became constipated. In the end my midwife had to draw me a diagram (:o) to show me that "straining" (:o) actually pushed the wound together, rather than pulling the stitches apart, so I need not have worried about that at all!

Gosh, I have written a lot about digestive matters, haven't I! Well, it was all a huge secret worry to me at the time and so I decided that if I could help to put a Mummy-to-be's mind at rest at any point in the future, then I jolly well would!:)


PS Gas and air is wonderful. I was almost as high as a kite on it! At one point, I accidentally dropped the mask (it was hand held) and was so distraught at having lost it, that I shouted out at the top of my voice "where's my f*****g mask?" It was very uncharacteristic of me to use such language and my poor husband was quite shocked. Mind you, he handed it back to me pretty sharpish! It is your friend....it really is!

Gillyx

I had my baby boy 5 weeks ago and the best advice I can give is, be open minded and as relaxed as you can.

My labour was in my own mind quite horrendous and not at all what I'd wanted or thought I'd chose (48 hours with regular contractions, epidural, episiotomy and forceps because of his positioning) and even at that I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

I'll be honest and say it is painful, but not that you won't be able to cope, every woman does and it's so worth it at the end. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and I got my epidural because I was so tired, not because of the pain. I'm glad I did, as we didn't know until last minute he was attempting to come out sideways so glad I got the epidural for the forceps part.

Pain relief is your friend and don't be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for it.

I.e tears/cuts. I was cut, and had a 1st degree tear, the recovery is sore, but not painful, and if you take it easy as much as you can, it does help. Just don't try and do too much.

One thing that helped my stitches was letting them get "aired" every day, even for 10 minutes, so I'd just lay on the bed after my shower and relax for a while, and leave baby with OH. I felt almost recovered after about 10 days I'd say.

Good luck with your little one, it really is amazing x

tiamai_d

The birth stories thread is always going to be full of 'bad' stories, not because women like to embelish it or scare others, but because it is a natural responce to feel a need to talk about the bad things and so work through them. I have more of a need to talk about my second which was bad, than the first or third which were great.

At the end of the day, that baby is coming out one way or another. I found that simply knowing it would end got me through it. The exact details of how it comes out are not all that important, just do what you gotta do. There is no badge of honour going all natural with no drugs and there is no shame in demanding all the drugs you can get and calling the midwife, your other half and then whole entire world a bunch of ******* *******!

And, a sharp stick can make you feel better. Every time you hurt, poke him in his testicles Or be a drugged up wuss and tell him how much you weely wuuvvv himmm

Weronika

heretolearn wrote: »

I think a lot of us felt the same so you are nothing new :-) I distinctly remember thinking 'I've changed my mind, I don't want a baby after all' when I went into labour, lol.

:rotfl:I was thinking along the same lines the first time!:D I closed myself in the shower (the hot water on my lower back really helped ease the pain) and cried and thought 'how on earth anybody talked me into having a baby by birth? There is so many cute children that need adopting':rotfl:

But one thing is true - I forgot how bad the pain was on 2nd day! I remember things I was doing to relieve the pain and that it was bad and horrible and so on - but not the actual feeling.

I am 2 weeks away from giving birth the 2nd time now (How on Earth he managed to talk me into this AGAIN?:rotfl:)

BTW All this rubbish about how it's worth it and natural for women and so on doesn't help when it's actually happening - but blaming your partner for absolutely EVERYTHING does:A