Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

clays_mummy

btw, i was induced at 10 days over, had an episiotomy and even though i had an epidural, i stood up and got myself changed and dressed 30 minutes after i gave birth so even though i didnt feel the pain, my legs werent numb

RadoJo

I'm at about the same stage as you - it's all becoming a bit real but I can't actually imagine going through it in real life. I have to say, the thing that helps me is to think about all the people that have done it before - I have one particularly wussy friend who survived the process twice, and knowing that makes me feel better as I have specific knowledge that her pain threshold is lower than mine. If you don't have someone like that to think of, then pick a celebrity Mum that you think you could take in a fight and bear in mind that they have managed it!
I also comfort myself by thinking that I will be much more concerned about the baby than I will about myself when the time comes (even if this turns out not to be true and I am an awful selfish mother, it will be too late by then!).

bylromarha

Thing that got me past the point you're at now was my sister being very frank with me in the way that only a sister can.

She spelt out in no uncertain terms what to expect, when and the sensations it would cause in my body.

I think the fear of the unknown is a very powerful thing and that is what you have. By having a clear detailed chat with a close girlfriend, you can put lots of those fears to bed and the unknown becomes known.

Oh, and the other thing that got me through was recognising if "insert name of woosy mum you know here" can give birth I flipping well can.

I'd happily go back and do labour again - I think it's the best experience ever - seriously, I love it. The highs you experience are like nothing else in life.

bylromarha

dizziblonde wrote: »

But I'm one of those nutters who isn't worried about the birth part at all. Worried about the logistical stuff - like who's going to look after our dogs (arranged), what happens if I go into labour during rush hour (hospital's in one of the nicest traffic blackspots in the city) and get stuck in traffic and end up having to push in the gutter,

If you do get stuck in rush hour and the birth is quick you just get on with it and cope.

I self delivered DD in the passenger seat whilst OH continued driving - he thought I was exaggerating when I told him I could feel her head - when he saw her looking at him as he changed gear he realised I was not being hysterical mum.

Granted, it was my 2nd, so I went into automatic pilot, and didn't freak as I couldn't - no time. I had a baby to catch!

Your body really does know what to do. It's one of those things I read in the pregnancy mags and thought "what a pile of tosh" but it really is true!

PoorCharleyBear

I was terrified too...but kept thinking 'there is no going back'!!

I was also adamant I did not want a Cesarean as there was no one around to help- just me and H in another country, far from home.

When it came to it, I did not care and a C section meant my little one came into the world safely- and that is all that matters ultimately!
And I would do it all again in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity.

Good luck and in no time at all you will be wondering what the fuss was about- looking after the baby is far harder work, when you desperately want to sleep!

Blue_Monkey

Hi Sunshine,

My DD was 12 weeks old yesterday so her birth is still fairly recent in my mind (hopefully it always will be). I had a great birth - 5 hours from my show to her making her appearance - first baby, in water, at home, no drugs or gas and air, no tears. I am also the biggest wuss in the world.

I'm not saying this to gloat, I just want to let you know it can be a positive experience. I did do a hypnobirthing course beforehand, and whilst I didn't actually practice or use of any of the techniques, it did reassure me that birth doesn't have to be scary.

Your body is designed for this. Look what it's done already (ie your bump) . Trust it to do what it needs to do in labour too. And as much as possible, relax. You need to fend off adrenaline and get the feel-good hormone oxytocin racing around your system. By tensing up, the blood and oxygen can't get to where it needs to be.

The contractions do hurt, but try to look past them (IYKWIM). Grit your teeth, breathe and then that one will be over. In between contractions you feel normal(ish) so you get a break.

Try to keep active - for 2 reasons. Firstly, doing stuff (even if it's just walking about) will distract you and I truly believe that's half the battle. Secondly, being upright and mobile will help your body work with gravity.

Oh and also, that little baby of yours magically knows what to do too, the whole thing is amazing and will likely only be a day or so out of your life and then once you step over that line, the wonder of your baby really definitely will make it all worth it. It's such a cliche and I know I'm getting all gushy, but it's brilliant.

Enjoy and good luck xx

*Redhead*

Firstly, congratulations.

I think everyone gets scared tbh, or at least nervous.

The fear of the unknown and all that.

I was terrified when i had my daughter 5 years ago, but just had my son 4weeks ago, and i was only a teeny bit nervous with him. I knew what to expect this time so it seemed much less scary.

I also did it 2nd time round on just gas and air, and could feel everything so it definitely hurt more than the first time but i already want to do it again so couldnt have been that bad

You have to think everyone is different. I liked watching One Born, and reading birth stories before i gave birth, but at the same time, i understood that my labour would be completely different from all those, either in a good way or a bad one.

I hope you have a really easy time, and everything goes smoothly. But however it goes, as soon as you hold your little bubba, all the pain will be forgotten x

vickynleon

i don't think anyone can really prepare themselves for labour because you never really know what pain relief you will need until your actually in labour, with my first child i thought i was going to be a nervous wreck right up until my water's broke but then all of a sudden i seemed to go completely calm and probally a bit to calm for some having their first child, i planned on having a water birth but ended up having pre-eclampsia so i was advised to have an epidural to bring my blood pressure down, to be honest with you this is the best thing the hospital could of suggested because it worked great and i could feel hardly any pain, i had a lovely labour and straight after i said i could of gone through it again. i am not expecting my second child and to be honest i'm more nervous now and i'm not really sure why but just think that once you've got labour over and done with you'll have a gorgeous baby to care for so try not to stress and enjoy the end of your pregnancy and look forward to having your baby to care for.

shirlgirl2004

I just wanted to confirm that birth does not have to be painful. I had several poor experiences of birth. With my last child I tried hypnobirthing. I was amazed at the difference in the birth experience despite it being my largest baby at 9lb 5. It probably is a bit late for you to doa course but if you can afford it and can find one quickly enough I would totally recommend it. The techniques are fantastic.

mygirllollypop

Wont go into my birth stories, but I've done it twice!

One thing that helped me was to imagine I was walking/Jogging/Running up a hill as the contraction built up and then down the other side as it ebbed away, I tried to almost move that pain from my tummy to the back of my legs and it did seem to work alot for me and it was a sense of acomplishment everytime I got over that hill/contraction!

That may make no sense to anyone else haha! But you do just get through it.