Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

sunshine_1988

Hi

I'm 38+6 today, and I am absolutely petrified of when it happens. I have been having sleepless nights, bad dreams etc.

I know it sounds pathetic, but I just have no idea what to expect. I've read the pregnancy thread and the birth stories and I get myself into such a state about what could happen:(

I dont have a specific midwife as such, I have seen a different one at every appt so I havent really got a close relationship with any of them to discuss how scared I am. They whizzed through the birth plan with me in about 5 minutes. I'm not against any pain relief etc and have said I will go with the flow so to speak.

Does everyone feel like this beforehand?!? I think my wost fear is being cut or tearing and the after pain of that. Everyone seems to think I cope well with pain, I am quite a quiet person and dont really moan about things, but I have a feeling I will be awful in labour.

Im so sorry for such a moan.

x

System

well at least your more prepared than i was.... my first birth was a complete shock. No one told me it would hurt.:o

flutterby_lil

sunshine_1988 wrote: »

Hi

I'm 38+6 today, and I am absolutely petrified of when it happens. I have been having sleepless nights, bad dreams etc.

I know it sounds pathetic, but I just have no idea what to expect. I've read the pregnancy thread and the birth stories and I get myself into such a state about what could happen:(

I dont have a specific midwife as such, I have seen a different one at every appt so I havent really got a close relationship with any of them to discuss how scared I am. They whizzed through the birth plan with me in about 5 minutes. I'm not against any pain relief etc and have said I will go with the flow so to speak.

Does everyone feel like this beforehand?!? I think my wost fear is being cut or tearing and the after pain of that. Everyone seems to think I cope well with pain, I am quite a quiet person and dont really moan about things, but I have a feeling I will be awful in labour.

Im so sorry for such a moan.

x

Yeah I felt the same with my ds, that was almost 4 years ago now. I had an horrendous 4 day labour, waters went Monday, didn't have him til Friday, but I am going to do it all again in approx 3 weeks. You do forget about the pain after, its all worth it. It's not that bad or I wouldn't be doing it again.

It has to come out one way or another.

Most people won't see the same midwife at all appointments. I see a community midwife for antenatal appointments in a local sure start, none of whom work in the hospital or will be there for labour. I suspect everyone is the same.

Try not to think too much into it, all labours are different so you could be in and out very quickly.

Good luck.

flowertotmum

Aww hun..take a breath and relax..you will do it and be surprised at yourself too...just go with the flow and if its too much tell them..i have had 6 babies and each one was different..all i did was place myself in their hands and relax..please don't worry..try to enjoy the last weeks of being pregnant and look forward to the little bundle of total joy you are about to deliver..
I was like you but i couldn't wait to go into labour..i was just soo excited to meet my new little person...look at it that way...
take care
ftm

flowertotmum

O and i did find sometimes that total ignorance is total bliss...
ftm

fluffnutter

1. Stop reading birth stories - every experience is different
2. Realise that all women feel like this, especially at the stage of pregnancy you're at
3. Bear in mind that it's got to come out one way or the other - you have no choice!
4. Concentrate on meeting your baby very, very soon. This moment will be the best of your life
5. The pain will be what the pain will be. If it's unbearable, you can have an epidural. Simple.
6. Any post-labour pain due to being cut and having stitches is a) not a given anyway and b) relegated to totally unimportant as you'll be too immersed in adoring your new baby.

System

I used to tell myself that one more pain was one more step further to meeting my baby (i had 6 too).

milliemonster

It's perfectly natural to feel this way when it's your first, it's a totally new experience that you've never had before and it's just fear of the unknown, but it is amazing what your body is capable of, yes it hurts and it's hard work giving birth although some people do seem to just breeze through it. I tore having my daughter but to be honest, by the time it gets to that stage you honestly don't even feel it if it happens!

Just focus on meeting that new little person you have created and it will be so worthwhile! you will soon forget about it and become enthralled in your new life as a mum, good luck!

flowertotmum

Judi wrote: »

I used to tell myself that one more pain was one more step further to meeting my baby (i had 6 too).

:rotfl:me too..i would wait til they got all the delivery stuff ready and think yes almost there...
ftm

heretolearn_2

I think a lot of us felt the same so you are nothing new :-) I distinctly remember thinking 'I've changed my mind, I don't want a baby after all' when I went into labour, lol. But you don't get a choice, you just have to do it, so you pretty quickly just want to get on with it all.

Not going to lie, yes it hurts, but there's lots of painkillers to help and it's different to just being in pain because something is broken/diseased, it's a pain that has a purpose and a definite end to it, and it's mixed up with excitement and so on, so it's not like sitting around with toothache feeling miserable. You realise you'll get through it.

Try not to read any more horror stories. They really are a minority of births - people don't bother to write/talk about good experiences as much as bad, you can see that about any topic here not just labour. Even then no-one says 'oh I wish I hadn't bothered...'

You'll be fine. Just remember that most mums go back for a second (or more) go so it can't be that bad!

scotgirl

You can handle it and if it gets too much there is pain relief and good stuff at that!!!

Try not to worry about the horrible things that may or may not happen (tearing etc), the medical staff will only do whats necessary to ensure the safety of you and your child, if something like that happens you will recover from it.

Go and speak to your GP perhaps and ask for your anxieties to be stated in your notes.

Good luck