Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

sunshine_1988

Thanks

Apparently, I should be seeing the same midwife at my local surgery but she is off on sick leave which is why we see someone different each time - its nice to hear though that other areas see a different one every time though.

I know it has to come out one way or the other - I just need to keep telling myself that. I go through phases of thinking I am ok with it and then having a major panic. I think I do need to stop reading the birth stories though.

Thanks for all your advice and help. I know it will all be worth it when we get to meet our little baby, and people wouldnt have more than one if it was that bad would they

Thanks again. xxx

Mojisola

sunshine_1988 wrote: »

I think my wost fear is being cut or tearing and the after pain of that. Everyone seems to think I cope well with pain, I am quite a quiet person and dont really moan about things, but I have a feeling I will be awful in labour.

Don't worry - the midwives will have seen everything before. A day in a labour ward would teach a sailor a few new ways to swear!

If you end up screaming, shouting, swearing, telling your OH he's not going to get within six foot of you ever again - you'll be in good company. Inhibitions tend to go in the rush of emotions and hormones so your reactions won't bother you as much as you think they might now.

If you want to leave what happens in the labour room in the labour room, ban your OH from filming you. Photos of you and your lovely new baby is one thing - showing your relatives you sweaty and swearing is a very different thing!

If the worry about pain is making you anxious, go for pain relief as soon as possible. Being relaxed will make everything go more smoothly. Every birth is different and no-one can predict what yours will be like. Go with the flow and keep your vision on the end result. That baby will be worth it. If it wasn't, the world would be full of one-child families. :rotfl:

SkintGypsy

I was terrified too with my first, and it was pretty hairy at times. But I got to bring my baby home safe. Not everyone gets that. A live healthy baby trumps any pain or fear or stitches. Just keep focused on the prize. It's just one tiny amount of time, and then you get a lifetime of your baby.

And to answer re the tearing and after pain, just make sure you are prepared. A salt bath regularly, a soft sponge, some arnica and water baby wipes instead of loo roll really helps.

I hope it goes well for you lovely. Xx

Ravenlady_2

I am cacking myself, and this is number 4.

You're perfectly normal to be worried about the birth.

CL

I really felt the same (my DD is 15 mths), but what really helped me, believe it or not, was watching all the birthing programmes on TV. I watched dozens, with both good and bad labours, and decided that I'd seen (nearly) the worst and that if everyone else could do it, so could I. I did a birth plan and stated that I wanted an epidural as early as possible, and would not consent to forceps/ventose, and should it look like that was likely, I wanted a c-section as soon as possible. I felt so much more in control and calm about it having made myself aware of what would/could happen.

Anyway, turns out my bambino didn't want to come out that way and after 3 failed attempts at induction (and not one contraction, in fact I didn't dilate at all), I got a section and was so happy with how it all went.

sunshine_1988

CL wrote: »

I really felt the same (my DD is 15 mths), but what really helped me, believe it or not, was watching all the birthing programmes on TV. I watched dozens, with both good and bad labours, and decided that I'd seen (nearly) the worst and that if everyone else could do it, so could I. I did a birth plan and stated that I wanted an epidural as early as possible, and would not consent to forceps/ventose, and should it look like that was likely, I wanted a c-section as soon as possible. I felt so much more in control and calm about it having made myself aware of what would/could happen.

Anyway, turns out my bambino didn't want to come out that way and after 3 failed attempts at induction (and not one contraction, in fact I didn't dilate at all), I got a section and was so happy with how it all went.

Must admit, I did watch one of those 16 and pregnant things and thought, if they can do it....surely I will be able to.

Might watch a few more of those

delain

Gas and air is your friend you need to breathe it as deep as you can, if you're not sure, ask the mw to explain it.

By the time my last 2 were born I couldn't have told you my own name I was so out of it :rotfl:

You will be fine.

Metranil_Vavin

1 word...epidural!

Just go for as many drugs as you want and don't feel you have to give birth in any particular way. It isn't a badge of honour to have gone through birth without drugs, unless you want to of course.

I had all kinds of idea's on my birth plan of how I wanted it to be, which completely went out of the window when the time came (read my birth story if you want to know more) and actually all I cared about at the end was the safe delivery of my baby and as little pain to me as possible!

Oh and my best bit of advice..? Don't listen to other peoples tales of horror. A lot of the time they are embellished to make them more gory/interesting. Each birth is different, and I'm a sissy and I was fine.

Think bad period pains.

Armchair23

If you look around you every man woman and child you can see was born in one of two fashions. And I imagine pretty much every Mum was apprehensive through to petrified and not just the first time either.

Ignore the horror stories, it's not that they're untrue or it can't happen to you, but it's not going to help and fear and tension never made anything easier.

The word 'labour' says it all really, it's the hard work of getting that baby born. Don't take to your bed until you need to, while you're up and moving about gravity is helping things along. And every contraction is one step closer to meeting your baby.

All the best and I hope you find some comfort and reassurance from friends family and professionals.

Mupette

We've all been there and done it.

What you are feeling is normal, in a very short time you will have that little bundle in your arms and be so overwhelmed with love that the labour will be forgotten.

It might hurt, it might not, but when your at the delivery suite with your bits on display, first thing to go will be dignity, you won't care who see's your lady garden.

It's waves of pain so you have a chance of a breather in between, but it is all forgotten i promise you.