Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

sunshine_1988

Thank you so much everyone.

I know I need to just wait for it to happen, and accept that what will be will be. Thank you for your lovely comments and advice.

Fergie42

Oh good luck and everyone is scared so don't worry about that.
I don't know if it will help but I used to just think 'it is just 1 day out of my life and then I will meet my baby'.
All the best and good luck. xxxx

Bluebell1000

I think what really helped me was staying positive and saying to myself that I could do it during the contractions. I think if you start thinking about how hard it is, you're more likely to find it difficult.

I used a pool and had a little gas and air for a couple of hours, but that was it. I think having a home birth made it easier as there was no other pain relief options without going into hospital, something I was trying to avoid! The pushing part was done without any pain relief and standing by the pool, and even though I had a second degree tear, I didn't notice at the time... and afterwards, when the baby is here, you really don't care as much about being sore.

Although during labour I told my husband there was no way we were having another, our baby is 6 weeks old now and we're considering it... so it can't have been so bad (or I have a very short memory).

Just try and relax, and listen to your body, and go with whatever works for you during labour. Everyone is different, but you will get there and it really is worth the effort

emsywoo123

sunshine_1988 wrote: »

Thank you so much everyone.

I know I need to just wait for it to happen, and accept that what will be will be. Thank you for your lovely comments and advice.

I think it's really important to remember that yes, lots of women do it, and yes, it will all be ok in the end, but don't dismiss your feelings.

It is ok and natural to be concerned (not something you do everyday really is it? )

You mustn't feel bad or worry about worrying IYSWIM......it will make it worse :rotfl: Recognise that labour and birth are hard work but you can and will do it.

Hope all goes well (and painlessly!!) for you xxx

Ravenlady_2

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

1 word...epidural!

Just go for as many drugs as you want and don't feel you have to give birth in any particular way. It isn't a badge of honour to have gone through birth without drugs, unless you want to of course.

I had all kinds of idea's on my birth plan of how I wanted it to be, which completely went out of the window when the time came (read my birth story if you want to know more) and actually all I cared about at the end was the safe delivery of my baby and as little pain to me as possible!

Oh and my best bit of advice..? Don't listen to other peoples tales of horror. A lot of the time they are embellished to make them more gory/interesting. Each birth is different, and I'm a sissy and I was fine.

Think bad period pains.

I just wish it would dawn on these mums who love to tell everyone about their drug free silent birth that no one actually cares, I dont actually care how much drugs another mum has during labour, the end goal of a healthy baby is the only thing that matters.

Birth = baby out.

In its simplest form, that baby is coming out one way or another! It may feel like its through your bottom at times but i must say an epidural is the most fantastic invention ever.

kazmc

One word....

EPIDURAL




The best invention EVER

tyllwyd

I had two reasonably straightforward births, and for me, although being in labour is overwhelming, in some ways it wasn't the worst pain I've experienced, because it takes over so completely that mentally you go off to another place a little bit (the gas & air etc help of course!). And you know what it is, and that it has a reason behind it, so for me that also helped.

But if you are really scared, I'm sure there are mums out there who would be happy to talk to you - does your area have a friendly NCT group, or can you phone your midwife unit or even the local health visitors to see if you can find someone to talk you through things?

sunshine_1988

tyllwyd wrote: »

I had two reasonably straightforward births, and for me, although being in labour is overwhelming, in some ways it wasn't the worst pain I've experienced, because it takes over so completely that mentally you go off to another place a little bit (the gas & air etc help of course!). And you know what it is, and that it has a reason behind it, so for me that also helped.

But if you are really scared, I'm sure there are mums out there who would be happy to talk to you - does your area have a friendly NCT group, or can you phone your midwife unit or even the local health visitors to see if you can find someone to talk you through things?

I see a midwife on Thursday, so I think I will mention that I am quite anxious then. Providing it hasnt happened by then

Part of me thinks, just hurry up and happen so I dont have to sit here worrying.

xx

harrys_nan

Please do not listen to any stories re other births, everyone is different regards the pain, the length of labour. You may just be one of the lucky ones that whizzes through ( I was) but when you hold your child for the 1st time, nothing else in the world matters.
I'm sure you will cope, it's just the fear of the unknown.
Wishing all the very best for you and your little one, do you know what you are having yet?

sunshine_1988

harrys_nan wrote: »

Please do not listen to any stories re other births, everyone is different regards the pain, the length of labour. You may just be one of the lucky ones that whizzes through ( I was) but when you hold your child for the 1st time, nothing else in the world matters.
I'm sure you will cope, it's just the fear of the unknown.
Wishing all the very best for you and your little one, do you know what you are having yet?

Thank you xx

No, we chose not to find out. So at the end of it we will have a nice little surpise