Terrified of giving birth - advice please?

sunshine_1988

ceegee wrote: »

Oh,bless you, sunshine.

I remember how frightened I was (24 and 20 years ago). What really helped me was remembering what my sister had told me and that was:

it's the contractions which hurt and they are like really bad period pains. The actual birth is just hard physical slog, and you won't really be registering any pain by this time....just the knackering physical effort! Then it finishes! And you have a scrumptious little baby!

...............................................................................

I was cut, but the tiny little nick that you may feel is more than outweighed by the physical relief that you will also feel as it makes it so much easier for the baby to come out. The worst thing about being cut/tearing is having your feet up in stirrups afterwards whilst someone is face to face with your nether regions repairing the damage. But by this time you will have your precious baby in your arms, so a bit of indignity is neither here nor there!

Some things that worried me were:

!) Would I poo myself during the birth.:o The answer is....you don't, because the digestive system shuts down. The only thing that might happen is that a tiny little bit might come out if it is right down the bottom (!) of your system. If it does, the midwife just covers it up with a little pad of something or other.
Mind you, I passed an embarrassing amount of wind.:o I tried to hold it back but in the end it just had to come out! But I think it depends on whether or not you are a "windy" type of person anyway.:o But, honestly, you get to the point where you don't really give a toss about social niceties.:rotfl:

2) I was worried about.....ahem...."bowel movements" after the stitches. I was so worried about tearing the stitches that I became constipated. In the end my midwife had to draw me a diagram (:o) to show me that "straining" (:o) actually pushed the wound together, rather than pulling the stitches apart, so I need not have worried about that at all!

Gosh, I have written a lot about digestive matters, haven't I! Well, it was all a huge secret worry to me at the time and so I decided that if I could help to put a Mummy-to-be's mind at rest at any point in the future, then I jolly well would!:)


PS Gas and air is wonderful. I was almost as high as a kite on it! At one point, I accidentally dropped the mask (it was hand held) and was so distraught at having lost it, that I shouted out at the top of my voice "where's my f*****g mask?" It was very uncharacteristic of me to use such language and my poor husband was quite shocked. Mind you, he handed it back to me pretty sharpish! It is your friend....it really is!

Thank you!!! I am worried about those things too, so thanks for the advice x

sunshine_1988

Gillyx wrote: »

I had my baby boy 5 weeks ago and the best advice I can give is, be open minded and as relaxed as you can.

My labour was in my own mind quite horrendous and not at all what I'd wanted or thought I'd chose (48 hours with regular contractions, epidural, episiotomy and forceps because of his positioning) and even at that I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

I'll be honest and say it is painful, but not that you won't be able to cope, every woman does and it's so worth it at the end. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and I got my epidural because I was so tired, not because of the pain. I'm glad I did, as we didn't know until last minute he was attempting to come out sideways so glad I got the epidural for the forceps part.

Pain relief is your friend and don't be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for it.

I.e tears/cuts. I was cut, and had a 1st degree tear, the recovery is sore, but not painful, and if you take it easy as much as you can, it does help. Just don't try and do too much.

One thing that helped my stitches was letting them get "aired" every day, even for 10 minutes, so I'd just lay on the bed after my shower and relax for a while, and leave baby with OH. I felt almost recovered after about 10 days I'd say.

Good luck with your little one, it really is amazing x

Thank you for thr advice re stiches, and congrats on your little boy. xxx

Griizelda

ceegee wrote: »

Oh,bless you, sunshine.


Some things that worried me were:

!) Would I poo myself during the birth.:o The answer is....you don't, because the digestive system shuts down. The only thing that might happen is that a tiny little bit might come out if it is right down the bottom (!) of your system. If it does, the midwife just covers it up with a little pad of something or other.

Sorry ceegee, but you're wrong on this point. Some women won't poo (or not much), but that's not the case for everyone as I can testify when I had my youngest! (sorry, probably tmi!) Luckily there were some baby wet wipes to hand (it was a home birth) and they cleared everything up easily and swiftly!

With the pressure of the baby, if it's there, it will come out and don't worry OP, it's nothing the midwives haven't seen before!

Mojisola

Griizelda wrote: »

Sorry ceegee, but you're wrong on this point. Some women won't poo (or not much), but that's not the case for everyone as I can testify when I had my youngest! (sorry, probably tmi!) Luckily there were some baby wet wipes to hand (it was a home birth) and they cleared everything up easily and swiftly!

With the pressure of the baby, if it's there, it will come out and don't worry OP, it's nothing the midwives haven't seen before!

This is why having enemas used to be part of the preparing-for-birth ritual!

tiamai_d

Good point to having a poo during the bith, you won't need another for a day or so Always look on the bright side.

Gillyx

Most ladies I've spoke to have had a good clear out before labour starts or during early labour when you're at home and can do it in the comfort of your own bathroom.

I asked my OH honestly if I did, and he told me no and I believe him, but after what came out in early labour, I'm not surprised there wasn't anything left

Triangle

tiamai_d wrote: »

And, a sharp stick can make you feel better. Every time you hurt, poke him in his testicles Or be a drugged up wuss and tell him how much you weely wuuvvv himmm

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I am currently looking for a very large stick - I have until June to get it really sharp!

olibrofiz

I think I saw my midwife four times, and only attended a handful of antenatal classes as they booked me in to start them at 34 weeks & DD was a week early.

What I mostly think about DD's birth is hallelujia for epidurals I spent most of the day snoozing (completely pain free) and farting every time I had a contraction

I had a 3rd degree tear which I didn't feel (was adamant no one come near me with scissors!), and only minor discomfort afterwards. No after cramps, nothing.

It is scarey, but try not to think into it too much, accept it's gonna happen, there IS an end to it, and be excited to meet your little one. xx

moodydonkey

I remember lifting my bum up and sweeping around with my hands. 'what are you doing' mum said. 'nothing' I said. Was sweeping around convinced I had soiled myself, not sure what i would've done with a handful of poo anyway but you don't think straight in labour!

Anyway, my top tips.

Spare socks cos your feet get cold and your waters may soak them.
Try and walk around cos gravity helps.
Keep control of your breathing. When your muscles get tired and starved of oxygen they hurt.
Don't let them have the beeping baby heart monitor next to you it's off putting.
And most important for me was have faith in what you are feeling and believe in it. If you need help then ask, if you want pain relief then ask, if you feel ready to push then say so. Good luck, it's an amazing thing.

durham_girl

I found the contractions were painful, but manageable. The description another poster gave about imagining running up a hill is spot on. I found holding my breath while the contraction was building and releasing it as the pain ebbed away was helpful. It's painful, but pain with a purpose which made it feel different. Hard to explain!

Pain relief does help too, the gas and air din't work for me, but the action of puffing on is was distracting from the pain. I also 2 shots of diamorphine which were great and lasted for a few hours each.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine! What people say about your body taking over is so true!