I know I shouldn't be offended but...

Emmzi

Is it possible he bought another ring for someone else? sister, mum?

silvercar

Before you put your foot in it, look up on the website of the jewellers that the receipt is from and see if you can see your ring at that price. If the jeweller is really out of business then look up another jewellers website and compare. goldsmiths would be a good place to start.

the_cat

BMSrachael wrote: »

...But I do so much for him, he literally never has to lift a finger, I pay for most things, I look after the house, cook all his meals as well as working full time and doing a part time degree and leading my own life. And I do it because I like looking after him and I know he loves me. But can't help thinking it would have been nice if he'd thought I was worth a little more, it is a once in a lifetime gesture surely...

I know, I know, I'm terrible

If he shows you he loves you by thoughtfulness and consideration, doing things for you, being generous (monetarily and in spirit) and putting you first then fair enough

What you describe above doesn't sound like that though . Tbh it sounds like you do everything, pay everything and he sits back and lets you. You give and he takes.

It sounds as though you were looking as the ring proving his love for you. Cheap ring..... equals less love which is why you are upset. On top of which he is lying to you

Sounds to me like you might have a point (based purely on what he seems to bother to do/pay for, not the ring) Sorry

Seanymph

I too would feel cheated - not because I'd want a flash ring, my engagement ring ended up costing more than OH wanted to pay - and so did the wedding ring, but together times four doesn't cost as much as just my engagement ring in my doomed marriage....... but I knew, we talked about it and we decided together. And no one lied to me.

Now I have a thing about lying. OH and I nearly collapsed early on because he'd told me he'd gone to work and actually he'd gone to buy my christmas presents.

I don't see this as any different.

Trust is trust is trust and lies is lies.

Especially over something so stupid and personal and wonderful. If he can't be honest about that what can he be honest over. He didn't need to say anything let's face it, he's deliberately 'bigged' it up and now the OP has had a crash.

Personally I'd wave the receipt at him and listen to him go 'well I never said exactly what it cost' and 'does it matter that much to you what I spent' and all those other excuses......... which actually won't make her feel a jot better, but will demonstrate much clearer the calibre of man she is marrying.

BMSrachael

He does help sometimes- he's just bloody awful at cooking and cleaning haha. Doing it all myself is just self preservation really!

And we've never been financial equals. I earn a lot more than him, and he got into a lot of debt when he was younger, which he has only recently finished paying off. I pay for most things because I like to do things and go places, and if it were up to him to pay for we never would. But thats not to say he doesn't treat me when he can.

So I wasn't expecting a ring for thousands obviously!

And he's not usually a "blagger" !

thegirlintheattic

Whilst the value of an engagement ring is not important the fact he blatantly lied to you is and is not a good sign. Sounds like this has just opened your eyes to other problems in the relationship - you are being taken advantage of and unless you put your foot down it is not going to stop. Don't make it about the ring - ask him when he is going to pay his way. The fact he bragged about it being very expensive is the problem - he thinks you are a right mug and seems like he was hoping that this 'gesture' would balance the books as it were, and you'd think he'd spend an equalish amount of money on you as you have on him.

I don't agree with the poster that cheap ring=cheap love though.

Annisele

BMSrachael wrote: »

He does help sometimes- he's just bloody awful at cooking and cleaning haha. Doing it all myself is just self preservation really!

And why is he so terrible at cooking and cleaning? Might it be, perhaps, because he doesn't get any practice? He's not congenitally incapable; if he's useless, chuck a mop at him and teach him what to do with it.

Tigsteroonie

I think someone already suggested this ... Start professing an interest in hallmarks. Maybe check out some other bits of jewellery. Then drop into the conversation that "I thought you said this was 18 carat? The hallmark says 9 carat." and see how he reacts.

the_cat

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

.

I don't agree with the poster that cheap ring=cheap love though.

Oops better explain myself. I don't think that! :eek:Far from it..... but I do think that the op is worried that this is the case, hence the upset

esmerelda98

BMSrachael wrote: »

But I do so much for him, he literally never has to lift a finger, I pay for most things, I look after the house, cook all his meals as well as working full time and doing a part time degree and leading my own life. And I do it because I like looking after him and I know he loves me.

/QUOTE]

You seem so grateful to have a half-decent man you are waiting on him hand and foot, and keeping him. You haven't given any indication that he is unable to contribute to the household for reasons beyond his control, please enlighten me if I am wrong. How does this man show he cares for you? He doesn't share his money with you and he doesn't help look after your home. I could understand the 'He never has to lift a finger comment' if he was working long hours to bring in the lion's share of the household income, but you say you pay for most things.

With regards to the ring, the cost would be irrelevant to me, as long as it isn't another indication of stinginess, but making out he spent a lot more than he actually did is unnecessary and to me, unacceptable. Some people are definitely takers and I find that a most unpleasant characteristic.