I know I shouldn't be offended but...

londoner1998

kittie wrote: »

complete and utter rubbish. My dh spent £27 0n my engagement ring and I chose it with him. We went on to get married a year later, having saved hard for a house deposit. We got married 42 years ago and are still blissfully happy after an utterly honest happy and contented life together

The week after we were married we opened a joint bank account and pooled everything and that continues today. Honesty and trust is key, not the mercenary cost of a ring

There is a lot of sadness in the opening post, something deeper is wrong in the relationship

I have read the thread with interest: I got married on Saturday!!! In my case, OH wanted to buy me a ring (''I want to buy you diamonds") but I insisted on using the £5 ring he got me about 5 years go: I have really small fingers and is a nightmare to find anything that fits and that I won't lose. He found this one on a second hand fashion shop and it is perfect for me. Since then this has been my 'wedding' ring and I am really attached to it. So, there you go- I don't think he doesn't love me- we are not rich and I have just been made redundant and he insisted on buying whatever I wanted in terms of ring. But I wanted to keep this one and I am very happy with it, because it has a history. His own ring cost £18 and he is so proud of it (as am I), is unbelievable. What he did, though, was to pay for a plane ticket for a my best friend to be here (he lives in Spain) after he too lost his job a month ago. That says more to me than anything else he can buy for me. He wanted me to have my nearest and dearest here (I only have one brother left and he couldn't make it for medical reasons).

What I am trying to say is that may be the OP's OH is trying to please her and hence got her the ring and lied about the value. It seems the OP is worried about his attitude to the whole ring thing rather than the costOnly they really know what is the real reason for the lie, but perhaps they need to start talking and being very clear to each other about these things

I would advice the OH to talk to him about this, clearly and calmly.
Good luck

x

pinkladyof66

if the ring was 2 figures then surely it must have been £99 or less !!!!!

I have to be honest that i have never seen a diamond ring that cheap !! what stones does it have or is it cubic zircona. I would be worried about the fact that he had to save for months for it if it was £99 !!! I would need to show him the receipt and ask. I was in a previous relationship whereby my ex was always inflating costs etc. He had an addiction and was covering it up by saying things were always dearer when they were clearly not (I am not saying this is your situation) however I would be a little worried. Sorry

Bangton

VfM4meplse wrote: »

It's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man, and the additional benefits are obvious. You wouldn't be stressing over the cost of an engagement ring for a start.

WOW...I'm astounded...are you actually for real?

Surely you fall for the man not his bank balance? A woman financially secure in her own right does not need a man to earn tons of money. She is free to fall for whomever she wants.....I feel a bit sorry if you can only love a rich man.

OP... He obviously makes you happy. You have stuck up for him on this thread and I think it's a shame some people have turned it into the usual 'underlying issues' thing that crops up on the forum now and again. Only you know what he is like to be with. As I said before I do feel a tad sorry for him because there will undoubtedly be a reason why he felt he needed to lie. I expect it's embarrassment or maybe it's because he is a bloke who doesn't 'get' the whole need for an expensive ring but thinks you do so he'll lie. Either way it's not great but as I said before I don't think it's a serious relationship issue. I think it would help to discuss it because it obviously made you a little upset and whether right or wrong that's something you shouldn't have to hide from your partner:D

SophieCat

BMSrachael wrote: »

I asked him about the 9ct/ 18ct thing. Just said I'd noticed the hallmark. He said it was labelled as 18ct, and the jeweller told him it was when he bought it! He seemed genuinely surprised/ upset so I don't know. The jewellers have shut down now so I guess we'll never know.

I don't want to make a big issue out of the price to him, it doesn't really matter after all, its the thought that counts isn't it. I don't want to belittle him or embarrass him. Plus he said he paid half in cash, half by card, so possibly the receipt I saw was only half the price anyway.

I've got it out of my system on here now anyway!

Surely, if the jeweler had told him it was 18ct, then he would have written 18ct on the receipt, instead of 9ct??

I was engaged to a guy many, many years ago who did the exact same thing. He bought me an engagement ring & told me he had paid £400 for it. Only I found the receipt & he had in fact paid £29.99 for it. It wasn't the price that bothered me, it was the fact he had lied to me. I'm not with him any more, as he turned out to be a compulsive liar (something I can't stand).

Trust your instincts. If he can lie about something like this, then who knows what else he's capable of lying about?