I know I shouldn't be offended but...

vickynleon

*Redhead* wrote: »

I was going to say, are you sure thats not the receipt for a deposit?

My OH paid a deposit of 10% on my ring, which ended up being in 2 figures.

That was until he'd got my ring size correct, then he went and paid the rest.

my partner done the same with mine, had to pay a certain amount and then the rest on collection, why don't you slip into conversation that you would like to buy a ring cleaner for it and needed to check what carat it was again because you don't want the ring getting damaged in the solution, if he looks worried you know its 9 carat and not 18 :P

BMSrachael

missmontana wrote: »

I bet you wish you'd never asked now OP!

I'd still like to know what the ring is like tho.

A little! It's 9ct white gold (not 18ct) with a fifth of ct diamond. It's pretty. And half price apparently!

DVardysShadow

[The swear filter is going to ruin this]

The Owl and the Pu55ycat

The Owl and the Pu55ycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pu55y O Pu55y, my love,
What a beautiful Pu55y you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pu55y you are."
Pu55y said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

I don't think 18ct or 9ct matters too much. As I see it, Edward Lear has about the best handle on the gold standard for a ring, which you can't assess by looking at the ring itself. Rachael, I'm hoping your ring is up to this standard, but if it isn't, then don't be afraid to act.

Person_one

I think irrespective of all this ring business, you and him need to sit down and decide how the family finances will work once you marry.

You can't carry on being so unequal financially, in fact I'm surprised that after 7 years and (presumably) living together you still think of it so much as 'mine and his' rather than 'ours'. That he's 'poor' but you aren't when you're planning to spend your lives together!

coolcait

I'm completely boggled by this thread!

I have no idea how much my ring cost, I have never discussed the price with my OH, and I have absolutely no interest in knowing whether it was dirt cheap or ridiculously expensive.
It’s a symbol of the fact that my OH wanted to commit himself to me, and that I returned that commitment. I have often said that I would have been happy with a ring pull from a coke can – because it’s the symbolism that’s most important to me.
If my OH had told me how much the ring cost, and it then turned out that he had been ‘bigging up’ the value, that would have worried me.
I would have worried that he thought I was so materialistic that an inflated price tag would be important to me :eek:
All that said, I know that I’m completely out of step with most of my female friends and acquaintances on this one!

SnowyOwl_2

IMO if you think that your OH feels embarrassed about being a lower earner than you, then has bigged up the price of this ring, then it sounds to me like he's got an issue with money. The ring still represents your engagement, however his attitude and your attitude to your joint finances really needs to be the same. I think that the underlying problem here is that your OH feels a little bit disempowered by the fact that his OH has more financial power than he has. He felt the need to lie about the ring's price so obviously money and the price of things does matter to him and that he somehow needs to keep up with you. I think that this needs to be discussed between the two of you. In the future the amount of money earned by either of you will change. The gap between your earnings may continue to grow which of course has ramifications in terms of mortgage and your choices about work should you become parents. Now is the time to sort all this out - if he has an issue with you earning more than him then it's only going to get worse, not better, if you continue to be the higher earner.

sabretoothtigger

I think the receipt was the ring he bought for his other GF maybe Ok maybe not but obviously some confusion exists and you should probably just say so

I think a hula hoop ring or edible jelly ring is best to propose with and then choose something together

The more sneaky solution is get it valued by a couple shops or pawn brokers

purple.sarah

My engagement ring was cheap but priceless to me. I only know the price because I helped pick it. It has Amethysts instead of diamonds because they're my favorite gemstone and two interlinked hearts symbolising our lives being joined together forever. I remember being so excited and showing it off to my friends, I couldn't have been happier or prouder if it had cost more. The only way the cost would annoy me is if he'd spent too much!

The engagement ring is not a sign of what your OH thinks you're worth, he's marrying you not buying you! The engagement ring should be about more than money but I think this issue is about more than the ring for you, it sounds like you feel the relationship is unequal and you need to address that before you get married.

Also I mentioned this thread to my hubby and he thinks maybe your OH said the ring was more expensive because he wanted it to be really special for you and for you to treasure it.

georgiesmum

My dh bought me a "gold " bracelet for our golden annerversary. I knew it was a cheap one as it broke after wearing it for 3 weeks and he wouldn't let me send it for repair to the place he bought it from. Took it myself to a jewellers and was told it wasn't gold,not even gold plated or rolled gold. So after 50 years I wasn't even worth a decent present.
Shouldn't have been surprised as he has never bought me anything expensive and if he gives me anything at all brags about it for months afterword.

VfM4meplse

coolcait wrote: »

It’s a symbol of the fact that my OH wanted to commit himself to me, and that I returned that commitment. I have often said that I would have been happy with a ring pull from a coke can – because it’s the symbolism that’s most important to me.

I see a correlaton between the value of the ring and the committment. Spending more on boys gadgets than an engagement ring - supposedly a gift for life - shows a serious lack of prioritisation of the relationship. I believe that engagement and wedding rings should be worth thousands, rather than spending silly money on a wedding party.