Do you let guests sleep in your bed?

Any

daisiegg wrote: »

Unless, like me, you live near an airport and near London and so are regularly used as free accommodation by people who would have no interest in visiting you otherwise...

In this case, if someone came uninvited for a night before flying off I would definitely not feel obliged to give up my bed!
(unless it was elderly relative perhaps)

elvis86

blue_monkey wrote: »

No I am not. Again. It is not a favour, a favour implies that you are saving someone time or money. I give her money for it and if I did not pay her I would pay the kennel. Walking and clearing up after the dog is part of this and she knows this when she stays, she also knows the sofa bed is 'part of the deal' at the moment. If she did not want to do it or spend time away from her husband she could just say 'no' but she does not mind.

Thinking about it...... I am actually the one doing her a favour - it gives her some space away from her in-laws, a fortnight of Sky, broadband when she wants it (nope, they do not have that where they live now) and I leave a fridge full of food - so she is always more than happy to stay here and get money for sorting the dogs for a few hours a day. Her actually sleeping on the sofa bed or her husband going home is not an issue tbh - others say it is but it is not and she often asks if she can stay here to spend time with the children.

However, I had been thinking of giving up me bed. It still feels ewwwww but I'll be asking my sister if he will stay if they have the bed and I'll see what she says. Maybe, just maybe, HE does not like the idea of sleeping in someone else's bed. I'll buy mattress protectors and get out the spare pillows. I had already decided this before I came on here anyway and it does say this in my OP if you read it again.

The post was to ask whether anyone else found it weird for someone else to be sleeping in their bed. It seems there are a few people who feel the same as me so I do not feel bad about it now.

To be honest, I find the whole situation a bit weird.

You paying your sister to dog/house-sit.

You not offerring your sister your bed in the absence of a proper guest room with a proper bed.

Her and her husband living with his parents, and him going home to sleep seperately when they have the opportunity of some time alone in your house (though perhaps this oddity is more understandable, if you've made your revulsion at the idea of your sister and her husband having s3x in your house!).

You considering the provision of the sofabed in your kids' playroom, Sky TV and broadband as akin to some kind of 5* holiday for which your sister should be grateful. Honestly, next you'll be suggesting that she pay you for the priviledge of staying over and looking after your dogs...

blue_monkey wrote: »

Just to turn things about a bit from what you have all been saying...... if someone stays the night with you then you are saving them £60-£100 in hotel/B&B and food costs - why would you also give up your bed when you have already done someone a huge favour and put them up for the night? Surely saving them the money is enough and they should be grateful of having somewhere to sleep for free not complaining that they did not get a bed to sleep in....

Oh, I see that you're not far off suggesting that after all!:eek:

Again, as well as being completely irrelevant to your own situation, this just exemplifies the weird attitude that you seem to have towards friends and family staying over.

I wouldn't expect someone to give up their bed for me if I was visiting and staying with them (ie if they were also going to be in the house), and I don't think many (any?) people have said that they would. But in the situation you have described, if I was staying in someone's house in their absence, and they expected me to sleep on a sofa-bed whilst their bed lay empty, I would think that odd (rude, to be honest).

It wouldn't cross my mind to consider how much my host was "saving" me in accomodation and food costs. I'm not in the habit of sleeping over in the houses of people that I barely know, and when visiting friends or family this would be the last thing on my mind! Do you expect visitors to tip you when you offer them a cup of tea? Jeez, there's being moneysaving and then there's being a complete tightwad!

onlyroz

blue_monkey wrote: »

Just to turn things about a bit from what you have all been saying...... if someone stays the night with you then you are saving them £60-£100 in hotel/B&B and food costs - why would you also give up your bed when you have already done someone a huge favour and put them up for the night? Surely saving them the money is enough and they should be grateful of having somewhere to sleep for free not complaining that they did not get a bed to sleep in.....

But that's not the same at all. If you have guests staying then you will be using your bed - but if you're out the house then the bed is free and it seems a bit mean to make the guests sleep on the sofa.

pinkladyof66

No I wouldnt let anyone either sleep in our bed (especially if i knew they are getting up to stuff) no cant imagine that. Even with changing sheets dont like to think of any seepages etc. Our bed is ours and no one elses. Sorry but I would give them a blow up bed or something similar. I know they are doing you are favour but my bed is no go area for me I am afraid.

elvis86

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

No I wouldnt let anyone either sleep in our bed (especially if i knew they are getting up to stuff) no cant imagine that. Even with changing sheets dont like to think of any seepages etc. Our bed is ours and no one elses. Sorry but I would give them a blow up bed or something similar. I know they are doing you are favour but my bed is no go area for me I am afraid.

I just hope you never have to ask such a favour of someone. If you do, I'd prepare yourself to deal with one offended relative/friend when they realise that they're expected to sleep on an airbed for a week whilst your bed lays empty, because despite liking them enough to trust them to put themselves out to take care of your house/pets, you find the idea of their DNA getting anywhere near you bed completely revolting.

Person_one

I have to ask, how much bodily fluid do some of you secrete during the night? If its enough to cause actual damage to a mattress or pose an infection risk even after changing the sheets then, please, go to a doctor!

cottonhead

I wouldnt like anyone to sleep in my bed for 2 reasons- I wouldnt want them to have sex in my bed or for them to be in a bed where I have had sex ! sorry to be blunt but thats how it is. Its a personal space that I dont really want to allow anyone acess to.
Having said that, if they are a young couple and need some time - just becauae he doenst stay the night it doenst mean they dont have sex on your bed or sofa anyway does it! So with that in mind I would do 2 things - dont mention to your sister either way about her partner staying. That way nobody can get offended. Secondly get a mattress protector and different sheets !

thorsoak

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

No I wouldnt let anyone either sleep in our bed (especially if i knew they are getting up to stuff) no cant imagine that. Even with changing sheets dont like to think of any seepages etc. Our bed is ours and no one elses. Sorry but I would give them a blow up bed or something similar. I know they are doing you are favour but my bed is no go area for me I am afraid.

But you'd allow them to use your cutlery/crockery?

meritaten

Well you have all these fine sensibilities about people in YOUR BED! but, as you will be away - WHOSE bed are you using? hotels dont usually buy new beds for each guest - or pillows, sheets, duvets and covers?
and its your SISTER you are talking about here - not a stranger off the streets!

thorsoak

Reading this thread through again, we really don't appreciate just how lucky we are these days - to have our own beds, in our own private space that does not have to be invaded by others. Just a couple of generations back, we'd all be lucky to get a couple of hours privacy!