“I get to do what I want to do on a weekend”

CH27

mildred1978 wrote: »

6 beds and 4 baths. And with a genetically messy baby and mum, quite a lot!

Not to mention that we merged 3 properties worth of stuff into this house that is very very slowly being worked through.

Mildred none of us are perfect & have to work at our faults.
Maybe you could work at being tidier & then it's less work for you.

I still think you need a serious chat about the future with your OH though.

Sambucus_Nigra

mildred1978 wrote: »

That no other couple he knows works like this (all of our friends have children).

Thing is, most of our husbands seem to be like this to one degree or another.

That's not an answer - what other people do is nothing to do with it. Why does he feel that he gets the weekend's 'off' and not want to spend ANY time with his family - that's you and the boy, not the ones in Yorkshire.

lilac_lady

Perhaps you could ask your OH to be available for a family on one of the 2 weekend days? If he won't agree to that, he's too selfish to spend the rest of your life trying to establish family time when he so clearly wants to be a non-family man.

PS - A SAHM works every day, not just week days!

mildred1978

Caroline73 wrote: »

Fair enough. So did you say to your husband "nothing in the cupboards so I'm just going to place this order and then I'm all yours I won't be more than half an hour so pop your shirts in the machine, then we can take baby to the park for a bit of fresh air" or did you just leaves him to get on with his on thing?

I'm just being devils advocate by the way. He does sound like he's being an !!!!.

I asked him to put LO down for his nap so that I could sort the food order out.

He did that, came back in as I finished the order, and opened his laptop. I asked what he was doing and he had a hissy fit and stormed off. He hasn't come back downstairs since, so is either sleeping or in his laptop.

DKLS

I work away from home during the week, and am a Yorkshire man, I manage to wash and dry all my work clothes for the week on a friday evening, and iron them back at my work location, doesnt take much effort really. As a backup I have a stash of the £4 shirts from Primark that can be binned after a few uses.

I would prefer to not work away from home, but whats available locally is paying around 30k less so needs must and all that.

I also go out 2-3 evenings during the week for meals n drinks, and whilst some of my contacts have become friends it is still very much a work related activity, I would much prefer to be going out with my wife instead.

Thankfully we decided to be child free so we dont have that additional workload/heartache.

mildred1978

lilac_lady wrote: »

Perhaps you could ask your OH to be available for a family on one of the 2 weekend days? If he won't agree to that, he's too selfish to spend the rest of your life trying to establish family time when he so clearly wants to be a non-family man.

He begged for years for me to have a baby. Do you think I gave up a career and a childfree life, at the age of 34, to have him be a father 1 day a week?

lilac_lady wrote: »

PS - A SAHM works every day, not just week days!

I'm not sure what you mean by that. I'm not expecting weekends off!

mildred1978

DKLS wrote: »

I also go out 2-3 evenings during the week for meals n drinks, and whilst some of my contacts have become friends it is still very much a work related activity, I would much prefer to be going out with my wife instead.

It's the opposite for him. He works with some of his best friends (some from uni). Most evenings he doesn't even bother ringing me/us to see how we are.

DKLS wrote: »

Thankfully we decided to be child free so we dont have that additional workload/heartache.

Well, that's what I decided too, but I changed my mind for him and look where it got me.

CH27

Mildred please don't take offence at this but i've read several of your previous threads & you have imo an unconventional way of bringing your child up.
Do you think you have sidelined your OH & this is the result?

mildred1978

CH27 wrote: »

Mildred please don't take offence at this but i've read several of your previous threads & you have imo an unconventional way of bringing your child up.

In what way?

CH27 wrote: »

Do you think you have sidelined your OH & this is the result?

No.

Tigsteroonie

Sounds like you resent him for 'making' you have a child for him and then 'making' you give up your career (the redundancy was voluntary not enforced, I think you said?) so that you can be a SAHM. Would you be happier if you were working full-time and he were to be the stay-at-home parent?