“I get to do what I want to do on a weekend”

CH27

mildred1978 wrote: »

In what way?



No.

IIRC your child stays up late. When do you & your OH get couple time?

Caroline73_2

lilac_lady wrote: »

PS - A SAHM works every day, not just week days!

As do working mums, but prioritising tasks can mean the don't need to do more than the minimum at weekends.

When I worked full time I did everything in the week, during the evenings and before going to work.

Now I work part time I do everything during the day on my days off so my evenings are free to help with homework, make nice dinners and relax. Weekends are totally ours.

JC9297

I assume from your posts that you and your OH have a substantial disposable income, so presumably pre-baby were able to do lots of things in your free time because you could afford to, either together or independently. It seems as if he hasn't realised that now his priorities should lie elsewhere and some of his hobbies/friends etc should take a backseat.I also get the feeling that you think he doesn't see you as an equal now.

balletshoes

mildred1978 wrote: »

He begged for years for me to have a baby. Do you think I gave up a career and a childfree life, at the age of 34, to have him be a father 1 day a week?

so when you had the baby, what did you expect to happen? ie did you expect your OH to change his job so he could be more than a weekend dad? did you expect to be a SAHM for however-long (I don't know if you're intending resuming your career at any time)? what did you expect, and did you and your OH discuss this and come to agreement about it all?

mildred1978

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Sounds like you resent him for 'making' you have a child for him and then 'making' you give up your career (the redundancy was voluntary not enforced, I think you said?) so that you can be a SAHM. Would you be happier if you were working full-time and he were to be the stay-at-home parent?

No, the redundancy was entirely my decision, and financially the most sensible.

He wouldn't give up work, and I wouldn't want him to.

runningwoman

What you need to do is to start looking for a really hot, male nanny.

http://www.mannypoppins.com/Manny-archive-list.aspx

This site does not have pictures, but I used to work for a woman who had a male nanny for her son and he was :whistle:. AND he did the housework and trained her son to play sports.

Caroline73_2

mildred1978 wrote: »

6 beds and 4 baths. And with a genetically messy baby and mum, quite a lot!

Not to mention that we merged 3 properties worth of stuff into this house that is very very slowly being worked through.

But you and the baby don't use all 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms do you? 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms at most. The other 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms cant get that dirty or messy. They'd only need 5 minutes each a week. That's only half an hour.

mildred1978

CH27 wrote: »

IIRC your child stays up late. When do you & your OH get couple time?

We are all owls, not larks. My son's circadian rhythms means he generally sleeps 10-10ish.

OH is away all week. So it wouldn't matter if LO slept 7-7, 4-4 or midnight till moon, OH isn't here for couple time 5 days out of 7!

As we rarely go to bed till 1 or 2 am, we have the same time together once LO is in bed as anyone else, just on 2 days a week instead of 7.

mildred1978

JC9297 wrote: »

I assume from your posts that you and your OH have a substantial disposable income, so presumably pre-baby were able to do lots of things in your free time because you could afford to, either together or independently. It seems as if he hasn't realised that now his priorities should lie elsewhere and some of his hobbies/friends etc should take a backseat.I also get the feeling that you think he doesn't see you as an equal now.

I don't think he sees me at all.

mildred1978

Caroline73 wrote: »

But you and the baby don't use all 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms do you? 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms at most. The other 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms cant get that dirty or messy. They'd only need 5 minutes each a week. That's only half an hour.

(sigh)

Do you want to come for a guided tour?

As I have said, the other rooms house a lot of stuff that needs sorting, as does the garage/ attic etc. When do you propose I do that?