“I get to do what I want to do on a weekend”

POPPYOSCAR

mildred1978 wrote: »

To be honest I might just clobber his credit card and buy myself something pretty (no joint account )

Short term fix!

Your problems sound like they need a long term solution to me.

mildred1978

jellyhead wrote: »

When my youngest was pre-school we didn't spend much time in the house, and when we did we were baking, painting etc. making more mess.

I don't understand the idea that SAHMs are actually at home doing their housework. My baby was a full time job.

And that's exactly how I see it.

When he's napping, if we are at home I'm arranging the finances, insurance, servicing of 3 cars, making sure his family get birthday cards and thank you cards from our LO, as well as administering the business and providing some ad hoc consultancy too!

jellyhead

mildred1978 wrote: »

Lincoln???

Most of his work is in London, but not all of it.

Having lived and worked there for 8 years of my life, no thanks! He doesn't want to live there again either.

I could buy a caravan and follow him wherever he happens to be. Isn't that a good little wifely thing to do?

Sorry, I thought you said that's where he worked. perhaps I need new glasses

It was just a thought, so you three could spend more time together. I wouldn't do it myself though.

mildred1978

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Short term fix!

Your problems sound like they need a long term solution to me.

I expect the waiting time for a full lobotomy is too long. Will have to make do with the hole in the garden.

Person_one

Is 1978 the year you were born? If so is your husband about 12 years younger than you? He sounds incredibly immature.

I've no idea what you should do, as he sounds fundamentally self-centred and I don't really think you can change people, deep down. You and your son have my sympathies though.

POPPYOSCAR

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Why not get your mum to have DS and you disappear off without telling him in advance? So when he turns up, you're not there, your DS is being properly looked after and you are off hammering the credit card in a spa, your phone is off and there are all his clothes from the previous week still sitting where they landed. All he gets is a note on the microwave saying 'Off doing stuff I want'.

Not sure that would work. By the sound of things he would probably just think oh good I can do what I like now without being moaned at!!

DaisyFlower

I think it depends a lot on what was agreed when you decided to be a SAHM. If he was willing to financially support you all (this can be a huge burden to carry) in exchange for you picking up the house stuff then i can see why he sees no need to come home after working all week and start on the house.

He'll obviously want down time after working and you'll want some time so perhaps you need to look at whats being done in the week a little more. Lots of mums work part time and do the house stuff but still have time at the weekends for nice things. It just takes organising which is even easier if home all week.

mildred1978

Person_one wrote: »

Is 1978 the year you were born? If so is your husband about 12 years younger than you? He sounds incredibly immature.

No, and no.

Person_one wrote: »

I've no idea what you should do, as he sounds fundamentally self-centred and I don't really think you can change people, deep down. You and your son have my sympathies though.

Thanks. He's not really a bad person. He just thinks he's 12 and I'm his mum.

CH27

I don't think tit for tat is the way forward as it will only create more friction.

Person_one

mildred1978 wrote: »

Thanks. He's not really a bad person. He just thinks he's 12 and I'm his mum.

What was he like before you got married and had the baby?