“I get to do what I want to do on a weekend”

mildred1978

balletshoes wrote: »

are the last 2 sentences true?
i'm kind of wondering why your OH chose to live so far away from his family when he's back there so often?

He moved away for uni (20 years ago). There's sod all up there worth going back for. Most of his work is in London.

We go up there every 2-3 months. He doesn't generally see them more than that (except the occasional skype).

We invite them down here regularly, but his parents have only managed 1 day in the last 2 years (despite being retired), 1 brother has been for a weekend (when he was working down here) and the others haven't bothered.

balletshoes wrote: »

i live nearly 400 miles away from my family, love them all, but I only go back home to see them 5 or 6 times a year, and hardly ever for just a weekend, because I'd no sooner get there than it would be time to come home again!

Any longer than a weekend and I'd need more big holes in the garden

balletshoes

CH27 wrote: »

Today sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back.

You both need to have long, serious chat about your future expectations for your relationship.

yes, when you are both calm and in the same room . it can't hurt to discuss where both of you want to be in the next year or longer.

sparrer

mildred1978 wrote: »

He's a yorkshireman

Ah, that explains it!

Seriously, was this the situation before you married him, or was going into business discussed afterwards? It sounds you're both looking for different things, you for a marriage albeit only at weekends atm, him for his freedom. Sorry if that sounds harsh but he really does need to take care of family responsibilitires as well as business ones.

Btw sensible not to have a joint account but hope you have some income of your own from your work in the business.

Hope the situation resolves itself for you

candygirl

If I was you i'd get an A4 sheet and write pros and cons down of what you get from this relationship, and show him:D:DHe needs to listen to what YOU expect from him too;)

Metranil_Vavin

He sounds like a bit of an ar5e to be honest.

My OH sometimes really pee's me off with his attitude towards our LO too. I've lost count of the number of times he's rolled his eyes at me when I ask him to help with something for DS.

I wouldn't mind if it was me asking for something for me, but as it's our child, I tend to get a bit irritated shall we say!

merlot123

mildred1978 wrote: »

He's not here when the bins go out, and I do all the gardening. He might unload or load the dishwasher once a weekend if I'm lucky.

Are you the poster who's husband shank her favourite dress, if so, best not leave the washing to him.

I was a SAHM for years, I did everything around the house, and I did a little part time job at that time too. I would say organisation is key, can you do the housework jobs during the week so you too can have some time off at the weekend?

If you both can't talk about it calmly, send him an email suggesting a few things you would like him to do on a weekend, i.e. empty the dishwasher etc.

You may have to lower your housework standards, dust will still be there when your not.

merlot123

Metranil_Vavin

I think some men labour under the impression that as a SAHM or part time SAHM, you are lounging about the house all day, watching tv and lunching with friends.

The best way to erase this misconception for good is to leave OH for a couple of days with LO, without leaving anything 'pre-organised' for them.

So no clothes laid out, bottles sterilised, food prepared and ready, entertainment suggested etc.

Dunroamin

If you're at home with the baby all week, why are you catching up with the washing and housework at the weekend?

If you were free of this you could either do things together as a family or do things on your own.

candygirl

Dunroamin wrote: »

If you're at home with the baby all week, why are you catching up with the washing and housework at the weekend?

If you were free of this you could either do things together as a family or do things on your own.

Or he could even help her!!!:eek::eek::eek:

mildred1978

merlot123 wrote: »

Are you the poster who's husband shank her favourite dress, if so, best not leave the washing to him.

I was a SAHM for years, I did everything around the house, and I did a little part time job at that time too. I would say organisation is key, can you do the housework jobs during the week so you too can have some time off at the weekend?

If you both can't talk about it calmly, send him an email suggesting a few things you would like him to do on a weekend, i.e. empty the dishwasher etc.

You may have to lower your housework standards, dust will still be there when your not.

merlot123

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I doubt my standards could be any lower as it is!