“I get to do what I want to do on a weekend”

Noonar

Where does he live in the week, doesn't he have access to a washing machine or washing service at the hotel? If he does, then he can do his own washing!

Kirri

marleyboy wrote: »

Sorry, but OP has made it perfectly clear in her below the belt replies exactly what she is like, its no wonder OH works 10 hour shifts, the poor guy has to go home to that, I DONT.

I'm not getting in on your argument with the OP, but just saying if your OH was going out with her mates after work, not doing anything with the child or you when at home etc etc, you may have a different view.

Person_one

*max* wrote: »

Woah there! I have no idea what this is about, but that was totally out of order!

Seeing as Marleyboy seems to have come on to the thread mainly to insult the OP I can't really blame her for hitting back.

Mildred, there are a few 'men' on this forum who think the most important human right is the right not to be 'nagged', ignore them!

Hanging_by_a_thread

To be fair if the current state of play has been ongoing for the last 20 months, and despite best efforts to communicate there has been no change in attitude or approach from the husband, then it is no wonder that OP is so unhappy.

Marleyboy it does appear that you and your partner have worked things out well and have a good, balanced relationship. You both contribute really well to family life. Putting everything else aside for a minute can you say hand on heart that you feel from what we know of the OPs relationship that she shouldn't feel things should change.

There is obviously some history between you both but can that please be kept away from a thread where someone is asking for some advice and help. Lets not forget there is a little kid in the middle of all this that needs its mum and dad to be pulling together not getting more and more emotionally apart

Tigsteroonie

mildred1978 wrote: »

Given your child is the result of an affair and raised with significant money from the state, I'm not sure you're one to lecture.

Hanging_by_a_thread wrote: »

How did you decifer all that from Marleyboys post, or am I missing some history here?

HBaT, there is indeed history. But for the record, (1) our son was conceived after the point where the affair became a relationship; and (2) the "significant money from the state" relates to contributions-based benefits that we claimed during only the first year of his life as the result of redundancy.

Enough about us. Back to the OP. I would agree that she is not living in a perfect situation, but as always with this forum, we only get to hear one side, and that side normally has a grievance to air. I'd be interested to hear the OP's husband's view on the situation. Then again, I'm sure the OP would too!!!

Caroline73_2

Person_one wrote: »

Or, she could expect her husband to be an equal partner and make a contribution beyond paying 60% of the expenses...

I don't think this is remotely about time management during the week, its about the fact that at the weekend when she shouldn't have to think like a single mum, she still does.

Surely equal partners wouldn't be working out who paid what percentage of bills because all money would be joint money? None of the household dynamic here really sits comfortably with me anyway. I obviously think completely differently to Mildred.

mildred1978

Noonar wrote: »

Where does he live in the week, doesn't he have access to a washing machine or washing service at the hotel? If he does, then he can do his own washing!

He stays with friends.

mildred1978

Caroline73 wrote: »

Surely equal partners wouldn't be working out who paid what percentage of bills because all money would be joint money? None of the household dynamic here really sits comfortably with me anyway. I obviously think completely differently to Mildred.

There are plenty of reasons for keeping it separate. I didn't take his name either, but that doesn't make me a scarlet woman!!

JC9297

mildred1978 wrote: »

He stays with friends.

So presumably they have a washing machine he could use?

Caroline73_2

mildred1978 wrote: »

I didn't take his name either, but that doesn't make me a scarlet woman!!

Confused as to what's relevant?