I don't have a best friend..do you?

[Deleted User]

miss_t wrote: »

I have lots of acquaintances, whom a few months ago I would have called friends, but when it's only ever you who puts in all of the effort their not really your friends are they? The worst thing is, and what really annoys me about myself is that regardless of the fact that these people aren't really friends or don't see me as their friend, I would still bend over backwards to help them if they needed me, although none of them have ever been there for me despite everything that I have been through especially recently. However, I just can't bring myself not to help if I can, or not send a text to let them know that someone is thinking of them.

I would love to have friends that I could talk to about things and share experiences with, but I know that for whatever reason, this isn't possible for me at the moment and that I need to be happy with my lot. I've learnt the hard way that this is better than allowing yourself to be used and hurt by other people.

Saying all of that, I am still a firm believer in treating others the way that you would wish to be treated which is probably why I will still continue to bend over backwards to help others as the naieve part of me hopes that maybe one day someone might return the favour :undecided...

An amazing post and truely the experiences of how i feel at the moment. Thank you for posting so articulately. I was trying to explain a situation to my husband only a few hours ago but i'm going to get him to read this as it makes my feelings much more understandable.

I'm sorry your feeling the same as me, but i'm grateful for your post.

OrkneyStar

Bangton wrote: »

I feel a bit abnormal...I have a handful of friends, I have a partner, a great family BUT I don't have a best girlfriend...someone I can talk to when I've rowed with the Mr (which is rare I suppose), someone I trust with everything....who I could turn to if my partner left me etc etc etc

Am I the only one without a best friend...?

Nope, I have friends, acquaintances, people I know a bit, people I know through DS etc, but tbh I am quite happy the way I am. Sometimes you find you need to be your own best friend .

tinktinktinkerbell

i dont have a best friend

sweetme

I have a lovely family, some great friends but not a best friend. No one I can really confide in. I did have a best friend and we literally knew everything about each other but had "words" last summer over something minor and have barely spoken since. (Not for want of my trying might I add).

butterfly2001

i wish i did but i dont either,,, you're not alone *hugs*

[Deleted User]

Snap Sweetme, so now i've become more guarded and private and more careful if i ever become close to someone other than my DH again.

Its happened to me time after time, so i'm finally thinking lessoned learned and moving on. Even if its me and me at the end of the day.

I might feel lonely but i won't be worrying about if ive said something wrong, betrayed someone or they've betrayed me, trying to stay in the circle of things with friends and feeling liked by others all the time. I need to learn to become used to my own company.

But i still do find it nice to be able to ring a friend on the spur of the moment and go around for a cuppa or them vice versa.

So i don't know, i really don't...........

deb68_2

I did she was the other side of me
friends since we were 11 an now im lost

she died before xmas leaving a partner an a 8 yr old little girl
so very wrong
debx

Nenen

Thanks for starting this thread; I feel very reassured! Like many previous posters, my husband is my best friend although I sometimes worry we are too dependent on each other. I used to have a circle of female friends when our children were younger but we gradually lost touch as the children got older and we got more involved in careers or people moved away.

We moved house ourselves three years ago and I've found it hard to make friends in this area (East Anglia) as I seem to be between age groups. I am no longer a young mum (I'm in my early 50s with grown-up children) but not old enough to be part of the various groups aimed at retired people. I tried the WI in our village but was the youngest one there by ten+ years and the only one still in full-time work. People were kind and welcoming but, even after going for several months, it was obvious we had little in common. They already had their close friends and weren't interested in having any more.

I would love to have a few female friends who would drop in for a cuppa or share the odd night out. It would also be good to meet couples who dh and I could enjoy spending time with together occasionally. We have a wide range of interests and I like to think we are warm and friendly but somehow don't seem to get past the first post in the friendship stakes! If anyone has any brilliant ideas I'd love to hear them. :beer:

harrys_nan

I don't have a best friend and if I'm honest I don't really have any friends, I know a lot of people but thats not the same. Probally doesn't help that I moved away from my home town in my 20's and have now moved again

Bangton

deb68 wrote: »

I did she was the other side of me
friends since we were 11 an now im lost

she died before xmas leaving a partner an a 8 yr old little girl
so very wrong
debx

I'm so sorry Deb68