I don't have a best friend..do you?

POPPYOSCAR

I would not say that I have a 'best friend' out of my friends.

I did have one 20 years ago and over the years we lost touch.I had been wondering what became of her a couple of years ago and strangely enough she contacted me through Friends Reunited.She wanted to meet so I invited her over.

She had not changed one bit, still leading a tragic life, and I realised and remembered what a user she had been all those years ago.I think she had only contacted me because she was hoping I was in the same boat as her and would have someone to go out with etc.
When she realised I was happily settled and not interested in a 'single' lifestyle she quickly lost interest.


So I would say that I am happy without a best friend as I have my OH and family, but I suppose if I was on my own I might feel differently.

miss_t_2

dibuzz wrote: »

I've never had a best friend and don't really have any friends at all.

This is also me, I don't know what it is about me, but I don't ever seem to make friends (well I see people as my friends, but it's not a two way thing) - something about me just doesn't seem to fit with other people

I have lots of acquaintances, whom a few months ago I would have called friends, but when it's only ever you who puts in all of the effort their not really your friends are they? The worst thing is, and what really annoys me about myself is that regardless of the fact that these people aren't really friends or don't see me as their friend, I would still bend over backwards to help them if they needed me, although none of them have ever been there for me despite everything that I have been through especially recently. However, I just can't bring myself not to help if I can, or not send a text to let them know that someone is thinking of them.

I would love to have friends that I could talk to about things and share experiences with, but I know that for whatever reason, this isn't possible for me at the moment and that I need to be happy with my lot. I've learnt the hard way that this is better than allowing yourself to be used and hurt by other people.

Saying all of that, I am still a firm believer in treating others the way that you would wish to be treated which is probably why I will still continue to bend over backwards to help others as the naieve part of me hopes that maybe one day someone might return the favour :undecided...

catkins

My husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything but I don't really have any friends. I only had one good friend at school and a few other friends but never really kept in touch once we left school.

I have moved around a bit too, in this country and abroad, which has not helped.

It does bother me in that if OH dies before me I have no friends - he also does not have any friends but I almost seem to push potential friends away. I get on well with most people and often people I work with or people I have met when walking my dog suggest going out, or popping round for coffee and I almost always make an excuse.

When I am out unless I am with OH or my family I always feel ill at ease and feel that I cannot act myself. I don't know why. Also I don't particularly like having people come to my house. Even if I have family round I spend hours cleaning and it's not that my house is dirty or that untidy. I know I have some ocd issues when it comes to housework and, because I have a dog and a couple of cats I worry my house might smell of them even though I know my mum would tell me if it did (not in a nasty way). I think if I go to someone's house for coffee I will have to invite them to mine and I don't want to because I find it too stressful.

Having read that back I realise I sound rather strange! I am happiest spending time with my OH and family and maybe I should just be content with that

Trazy

I met my friend over 40 years ago when we started school at four and a bit. We were best of friends all through school, always staying at each others houses and inseperable.
As I have moved a lot we have always kept in touch, been abroad together etc.
Things have changed a lot in both our lives and whilst we remain good friends we both have other 'best' friends now.

Peater

Don't (anyone) be gobsmacked or amazed that someone has loads of 'friends' on facebook. I have over 300 and would only consider 3 or 4 'friends', 40-50 'mates' and the rest friendly aquaintances. Plus 1 or 2 pity-stragglers.....

I know someone with over 4000 'friends'. That's when it becomes more of a marketing excersise more than communicating with your mates.

BJV

Well I am really glad that you started this. I thought it was just me, again over the years, jobs, family means that the friends I had have drifted apart. Its not something that you normally admit to for fear that everyone will think that you are a social leper. There is nothing wrong with me, my family are fantastic, work colleagues are great, husband fab, but best friends sorry no.

Hate to say it but I think as we all get older it is harder to make new friends as well. Don't know why but it is. I think that we are all too busy as well, by the time the kids are sorted housework done, pets settled I am good for nothing.

You are most definitely not alone!

BJV

Peater wrote: »

Don't (anyone) be gobsmacked or amazed that someone has loads of 'friends' on facebook. I have over 300 and would only consider 3 or 4 'friends', 40-50 'mates' and the rest friendly aquaintances. Plus 1 or 2 pity-stragglers.....

I know someone with over 4000 'friends'. That's when it becomes more of a marketing excersise more than communicating with your mates.

I agree our ad people started face book character for marketing. No-one knew this person (completely made up) but in the space of six weeks he now has thousands of friends! He does not even exist! He now gets friend requests !!!!

charlie-chan

My OH is my best friend. Eek. We have been together 7 years and he will always look after me. Two nights ago, he was hugging me when I was upset and that is so sweet. He really knows that when I am upset I am upset for a reason (most of the time lol).

I do have a few female friends that I am close to but I cannot really class them as "close friends" now. One friend is too busy with her boyfriend and she always forgets to text me back etc. I have sort of given up on that now because we don't work together now. I don't like disturbing them with my problems tbh but it was nice yesterday when I was able to go to one friend's house and she looked after me because I didn't want to be alone. Those are the kind of friends you know you can rely on to cheer you up etc.

My other best friend has moved back to Poland now and I am absolutely lost without him.. We got on so well and he could always make me laugh etc. I miss him. My OH had to sort me out and my friend did so it just shows that they really care for me.

In my old workplace, there were people who would call themselves your "friends" but they only used me if other people weren't there or to try and get me onto their side through some made up story. It was rubbish. I am glad to be out of there. Sometimes I feel that I would rather just be on my own then deal with those users.

Hanging_by_a_thread

I am lucky to have a good circle of friends. They are a small group of men and women who I really value and respect. A couple of them I have known since my early school days. Others I met at university. Some I have got to know through work.

They all bring something unique and important to my life. I know which one to turn to when I fancy a good natter. I enjoy shopping with one in particluar because she always knows how to sniff out a bargain and can haggle with anyone. Others are up for a good night out and are fun to party with.

My best friend though is my fiance. Not in a mushy, cheesy way. I value how relaxed and happy I feel in his company. We talk, laugh and appreciate each other. We share many interests but also have lots of things we do independantly of each other. I never thought I would find fishing or rugby fun but he has such a passion for them that I find it nice to hear him talk about them. In a crisis he remains calm where as I flap about like a headless chicken and panic. I think we compliment each other. Best of all he is a fab cook

Brighton_belle

BJV wrote: »

Hate to say it but I think as we all get older it is harder to make new friends as well.

I seem to be bucking the trend then, as 4 out of 5 of my best friends I have made in my 40's, one of them through MSE:D.
I really struggled to find/make friends when I was younger.

My definition of BF here is people I feel totally in tune with and can say anything to and vice versa and time spent with them leave me happy and energised, and a few weeks can go by between contact and we pick up exactly were we left off.