Has anyone ever married and kept it secret?

Nicki

Not personally, but my mum's friend was married for years to the man next door, and as far as the whole wild world, including my mum, was concerned they were just good friends. The fact they were married only came out when he died and it came time to administer his estate.

SailorSam

There are some of my family that i would never think of as loved ones, and i wouldn't want them there.

lostinrates

victory wrote: »

You mean kept it a secret from family and friends and rushed off to gretna green? No, surely you would want all your loved ones around you on your big day, it is one of the best days of your life after all, share the love not hide the love:D

It was one of the best says of our lives, but our family did not attend, we took two friends as witness and told our friends afterwards. Secret, no...it wasn't a secret, but it was certainly a lot more enjoyable than the circus that was growing around the wedding and some attrocious behaviour in our families! We had lived together for two years, it was hardly a chjange in living situation and though sonetimes i wish i ha ha a dream wedding, i nevr regret i did not have a nightmare one!

supergran2007

Hi OP,
Well, it depends how secret you mean, but yes, 'Mr supergran & myself didn't tell anybody, basically as we were very young, and both our families were dead set against it,(we married 6 days after OH's 18th birthday so that we didn't need permission!).
We married in a small registry office, with a couiple of relative strangers as witnesses.
We told my parents the next day, ( they were not pleased to say the least!).
OH's parents were told 5 days later, to the reply:
We'll not empty your bedroom, you'll be back home in a few months!!
I was very hurt by this, but if anything it made us work even harder to stay together when times got rough.
That was all 27 & a half years ( a couple of lovely children & 2 fabulous grandsons) ago.
We are now planning how to celebrate our Pearl anniversary, which will fall in the same year as my 50th!!
Hope this helps, and goes some way to answering your question.:):):)

jackomdj

My Dad and some other family traveled from the UK to Botswana to attend my cousins wedding (he lives there as does his parents - Dad's sister) it was only the day before they were all told (his parents as well) that they had got married a few weeks before and it was just a blessing and party!

Slinky

jackomdj wrote: »

My Dad and some other family traveled from the UK to Botswana to attend my cousins wedding (he lives there as does his parents - Dad's sister) it was only the day before they were all told (his parents as well) that they had got married a few weeks before and it was just a blessing and party!

Could be worse, my friend and her mum went to Australia for my friend's brother's wedding (was to be the third), but it got called off after they got there.

Mojisola

I know of a couple who went away to get married and didn't tell anyone for years. The woman's parents had turned her sister's wedding into a nightmare - completely taken over and made it a massive, overblown affair which her sister hated.

Rather than suffer the same fate, they did it privately. They couldn't tell anyone as her parents would never have forgiven her. Luckily no-one found out while the parents were still around.

ellay864

I know several couples who've done this. One couple went to Gretna and told everybody pretty much immediately afterwards to mixed recpetion. Another couple hadn't planned it themselves - they just decided on spur of moment, popped in registry office who had a slot free that week, did the deed and then told family. His parents didn't speak to them for 4 years, only breaking the silnce when twin grand-daughters arrived. One girl I work with was on holiday with her OH in Jamaica and on their first morning the rep talked about weddings and they just decided to go for it - she just bought a nice sun-dress and wore that. Their family were a little upset but when they realised it hadn't been planned behind their backs were OK. But my favourite was another friend from work who planned their whole wedding and told nobody - they went off on holiday to South Africa and got married in the bush under a tree as the sun started to set. The only people who knew were the groom's parents on the day they flew but that was only because they were taking them to the airport and my friend was carrying a box with her dress in.
Just because most people like the idea of having the whole shebang with all their friends and family, it just doesn't suit everyone - each to their own

POPPYOSCAR

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Can you clarify - do you mean without telling anyone ever, or without telling people their plans and going it alone?

Well perhaps either? Maybe getting married without telling anyone(and just for fluffnutter - telling the registrar and the two witnesses etc. only)

And then possibly keeping it from everyone else and it only coming out on your death?

POPPYOSCAR

SailorSam wrote: »

There are some of my family that i would never think of as loved ones, and i wouldn't want them there.

I quite agree.