Is my husband being unreasonable?

faerie~spangles

If you can leave the house without arousing suspicion take your children and go to your GP's asap. Don't cause a fuss but refuse to leave until you have spoken to a doctor.

From what you've told us, your husband is playing mind games.

It sounds to me as though his mental state is not all that it should be and his behaviour may escalate to the point whereby you and your children are in danger.

daska

I think next time you're able to get to a phone you should ring WomensAid on 0808 2000 247 (it's a freephone number). They will give you objective advice and they have places you (and the children) can go where he won't be able to find you unless you want to be found - which could give you the space to contemplate what's been happening, access real support and decide where you want to go in the future. And, really, truly, it's not as scary to do in reality it as the thinking about it makes it seem.

BrandNewDay

You are being emotionally abused. No doubt about that, at all. Even if you've done some things wrong, (everybody has) there is no excuse for his behaviour.

He's deliberately making you doubt yourself. He knows he's upsetting you and he likes it that way.

You absolutely need to go and talk to somebody so that you can get help getting away.

Your husband is not going to change. If you leave him, he will promise to change. He may even appear to change for a while. But, he is not going to change. It's simply not going to happen.

Save yourself.

*Louise*

musictomyears wrote: »

I really don't want to say whether I've posted on here previously, in case someone links to any other threads,

I'm sorry for bringing this thread back up but your story has been niggling at me for a few days now.......after adding a few things together I now know exactly who you are and what your previous posts are about, going back to 2010 - Don't worry, I;'m not going to link to them for obvious reasons.

I don't know if you will come back on here, it may be under another username but please if you read this.....LEAVE HIM.

This thread, along with all the other ones equates to one of the worst relationships I have ever heard about. If you can't do it for yourself, think of your daughter, before she grows up and ends up downtrodden by a man who behaves like your husband.

He isn't going to change - you are letting him get away with treating you exactly how he wants to

euronorris

fluffnutter wrote: »

This is never, in a million years, an OK thing for him to have done.

And I'm not sure I entirely agree with your first statement either. Most people (women particularly) have an outlet that they use to have a bit of a moan about their other half. I love my husband desperately, we have a fantastic relationship and talk all the time. I've still, on the odd occasion, moaned about him to a friend. I don't see this as disloyal, it's just letting off steam and hopefully getting things into perspective.

In this technological age, is the internet so very different from our network of friends? You shouldn't use internet forums as a substitute for good communication, but I still don't think it's the worse crime in the world to ask for advice about your relationship.

We don't know the whole story, we've no idea who to 'blame'. But on the strength of the original post, there's only one person behaving badly and it's not the OP.

I didn't say it was OK. I said I could understand why he would react like that, if he had already communicated his wish for her not to talk about it online (and, at the time, under the assumption that this was not an abusive relationship).

I don't think that talking online, on a public forum, is the same as talking privately with friends or family. Or even talking with them in a public setting. Once it's on the net, especially public forums, its there forever and available to everyone to see - not just the few people you choose to disclose it to (as you would with friends).

However, it does seem that this is now all rather mute. With further information from the OP, it has become clear that this is an abusive and controlling relationship.

Knowing further information, I would agree with others that he is being more than unreasonable. He's being controlling and abusive, and I strongly urge the OP to leave asap!