Where do women fit having children in??

SmallL

Im currently 20, in my second year at university and its just dawned upon me it will be YEARS until i am financially stable enough to have a child.
After my degree (if i pass that is) i will probably go on to do a PHD and or a PGCE.
Then the long hunt for a graduate job
Ideally id like to have been in my job for atleast a year before having a child.
Im going to be atleast 26 (if i dont fail any courses and can find a job quickly) by the time im financially stable :eek:

Now, after a rather disheartening exam period its made me feel like im not going to get anything i wanted out of life, including a family before im 30!!!

When did all you MSE'rs have your children?
Perhaps i should just pop one out now :rotfl:

zcrat41

When does a man fit into the plans!??

You might not meet him till your 30's.

Like me and we've just started trying.

Sammy_Girl

Plenty of time left!

I was similar. Went to Uni, progressed up the career ladder, got married at 30 and had DD at 32. I'm currently a stay at home mum and hoping for baby number 2. The plan is to take a career break now and when child(ren) are older I will return to work. But of course, things never turn out he way you plan them!

I forget the statistic, but the average age of your first time mum is getting higher. Maybe around 30?

Peater

SmallL wrote: »

Im currently 20, in my second year at university and its just dawned upon me it will be YEARS until i am financially stable enough to have a child.

Your sense of responsibility is refreshing but alas that doesn't seem to stop 90% of people attempting to overpopulate our island. Hey, pop one out now and that nice Mr.Cameron will give you a house too! Get busy!

SmallL

It seems we spend 25 years of our life in education, which for the luckier people is ONLY (woohoo sarcasm) a quarter of your life

ciderwithrosie_2

That's the thing, I didn't think it through too much, we were both in fairly low-paid jobs, renting a house with friends at the time, had a 'false alarm' where I thought I was pregnant and discovered we were both quite disappointed that I wasn't so we gave up worrying about contraception and our son was born in 1990 when we were both 25. In 1991, we had to vacate our shared house as the owners were due back, couldn't afford to rent anywhere private, so we were all but homeless - we were put into temporary accomodation ( a new one bed flat) 10 days before son No2 put in an appearance. We were housed by the council a few months later and we're still in the same house now. The OH was out of work for a couple of years when the boys were small, I didn't have a proper job for 7 years either as I was a SAHM (just did cleaning jobs, artwork etc). In 1995 our 3rd son was born. Might not have been the best way to go about having a family but they were all clean, well fed, taught manners and lavished with love and attention.

fluffnutter

SmallL wrote: »

Im currently 20, in my second year at university and its just dawned upon me it will be YEARS until i am financially stable enough to have a child.
After my degree (if i pass that is) i will probably go on to do a PHD and or a PGCE.
Then the long hunt for a graduate job
Ideally id like to have been in my job for atleast a year before having a child.
Im going to be atleast 26 (if i dont fail any courses and can find a job quickly) by the time im financially stable :eek:

Now, after a rather disheartening exam period its made me feel like im not going to get anything i wanted out of life, including a family before im 30!!!

When did all you MSE'rs have your children?
Perhaps i should just pop one out now :rotfl:

You think 26 is old to have children?? It's young!

As an aside, having life plans as rigid as these is setting yourself up for disappointment. What if you fail your degrees? What if you can't find a job? What if you can't find a fella? What if you have fertility problems?

Life has a funny habit of not going to plan. Why don't you just enjoy being 20 without scheduling the rest of your life?

Mojisola

SmallL wrote: »

Im currently 20, in my second year at university and its just dawned upon me it will be YEARS until i am financially stable enough to have a child.
After my degree (if i pass that is) i will probably go on to do a PHD and or a PGCE.
Then the long hunt for a graduate job
Ideally id like to have been in my job for atleast a year before having a child.
Im going to be atleast 26 (if i dont fail any courses and can find a job quickly) by the time im financially stable :eek:

Now, after a rather disheartening exam period its made me feel like im not going to get anything i wanted out of life, including a family before im 30!!!

That's nothing to worry about. Enjoy the journey to 30 - be social, get involved in clubs, travel about a bit, take time for yourself. When you get to the stage that children are a good idea, you'll be a more relaxed, self-confident older Mum and will have a lot of good memories to look back on while you're caught up in the daily grind of child-rearing.

euronorris

I will be 30 this year, and it doesn't look like we will be in a position to start trying for our first until end of this year/beginning of next year. If we're lucky, and everything goes our way (when does THAT ever happen?! lol), then we may start this year.

I also wanted to have started a family before 30, but life didn't work out that way.

You have plenty of time OP, so don't worry. It's very common for most couple to not have kids until their 30's these days. That's what has happened with most of my friends too.

fluffnutter

Thing is... you're only 20. No doubt you feel that 30 is pretty old and by that time you expect to have everything 'you want out of life'. As anyone in their 30s and beyond will tell you... 30 ain't old, sweetheart! Plenty of time yet. I'll be 39 when my first baby's born this year!

ciderwithrosie_2

Personally, for me, I wanted to have had my babies by the time I was 30. I was the youngest in my family, my mum was 31 when she had me and she just seemed so old compared to everyone else's mum coming to meet me from school (in her headscarf!), didn't help that my best mate's mum was 18 when she had her.