Where do women fit having children in??

katiegizmo

there's never a right time! and there is never truly a wrong time either... while there may be better times financially or stability-wise, you'll love your child regardless and it will feel right! The best thing is to enjoy it when it comes and make the best of all aspects of your life as it happens.
I'm expecting my first, I'm 31 and I don't feel old at all. I've friends who had babies at 20 and friends who are late 30's and planning families still - it doesn't really matter does it? For me this is the perfect time as I've had time to build a career, travel and we're 5 years into paying off our mortgage so a little more financially stable than we would have been previously. Everyone is different so just concentrate on enjoying being you xx

Oldernotwiser

SmallL wrote: »

Well i already have a OH-we have been together for almost 5 years
Oh and the 26 was just a estimate of when i would be in a job! not when i would immediately want/could have kids.
Its not that i have my life 'planned' thats how it pretty much has to be if i want to achieve whatever career i end up going for, im going to have to spend x amount of years at uni etc.
And ideally i would like to be reasonably financially stable as i know people juggling university with children and im struggling as it is without children, so in my eyes the two can't mix and my OH agrees we should finish/get into a career before starting a family.
Sadly i was never the sociable sort and im struggling to find university 'fun' and its just a way to get into the job i want, im considering nursing but now a days you need a degree for that too.

My perception of 'average age to have a child' may be a bit warped by the limited company i share lol so i apologise if i offended anyone by potentially implying 30 was old!

If you feel like that two years into your undergraduate degree then a PhD and an academic career may not be the right plan for you!

doodoot

OP, I did it the other way around - had kids then went to Uni...I'm in my final semester now and I'm 38.

We humans tend to find a way of coping with what life throws at us, so don't stress just yet about having kids.


A tip, if I may?

Do your PGCE/PGDE after completing your masters or PhD, as you will have a better chance over the new degree graduates of getting on the course.

Also, try to get a volunteer placement wayyyyyy before you apply for your teaching qualification - everyone will be fighting for them a couple of months before applications open, and you may struggle to find a school who is taking on.

Good luck!

Lovelyjoolz

What if you change your mind about being a mum? Teaching teenagers could do that to you! What if you or OH have fertility problems? What if you and OH split up? You'd have to factor in finding another bloke - and we all know how long that can take!

Seriously, you don't know what's going to happen during the next decade, so stop stressing over it! You're so young. Live is stressful enough once you have the house/marriage/mortgage/kids stuff - enjoy being debt and responsibility free whilst you can!

Live always throws spanners into the works. I think the best thing you can do is, if this is definitely the career path you want, for now just focus on the degree/masters/Phd. You might find that you want something different before you've even got that far. Relax, enjoy life, you'll get there!

SmallL

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

If you feel like that two years into your undergraduate degree then a PhD and an academic career may not be the right plan for you!

Its not the university per se thats not fun its the 'university life' everyone else enjoys (the clubbing etc).
I do enjoy my actual course and the stuff im learning in it
Im finding the learning curve extremely hard (i partly blame my university as the change from multiple choice-essay exam questions was ridiculous, and im almost 100% certain il be resitting a module)

meer53

I had my son at 30 and a surprise daughter at 43 ! Don't stress, it will happen when it's meant to.

You can't plan these things really, life just sort of takes over. I wasn't planning on being a single mum either but hey ho Not to worry, i just get on with it.

fluffnutter

Every time I read the title of this thread I can't help thinking 'well, they fit them in their wombs. The abdomen and uterus stretch to accommodate the growing baby and they get a big, fat tum as a result. HTH'.

wendz86

I had mine at 24 , finished uni at 21 and had been working 3 years when I had her. OH and I decided there would never be a right time and went for it and glad i did.

Most the mums i am friends with are around 30 up to late 30's so you have plenty of time!

JodyBPM

I graduated from Uni and bought my first flat at 22. I then went through various relationships before meeting my now DH at 25, we bought our "family home" together when I was 29, married when I was 30, had DD when I was 31 and DS when I was 32. I'm one of the younger mothers amongst my friends, most have/are having babies now at 38-39.

At 22 and still studying, I wouldn't be worrying about children yet. Once you've got a career, a house and a husband and feel ready for it, that is the ideal time to think about it (or not necessarily all those things or in that order, but you get my gist). So many things could happen in the next few years that would mess up your well laid plans. I must say, I don't know anyone who ended up marrying/staying with their boyfriends from before their Uni days, I'm sure some do, but the majority don't.

Bangton

28, been with my partner 10 years but STILL financially not ready so i'm kinda wondering when I'll fit it in too! : - )