Where do women fit having children in??

ciderwithrosie_2

euronorris wrote: »

I used to feel that way when I was younger too. But......you get over it, and in the grand scheme of parenting, being a few years older than the other mums isn't really a big deal. Other stuff is far more important.

Oh yep, I did get over it, am now 47 and my boys are 22, 20 and 17... stressing about being 50 (imminently) is my new thing!!

fluffnutter

SmallL wrote: »

Well i already have a OH-we have been together for almost 5 years
Oh and the 26 was just a estimate of when i would be in a job! not when i would immediately want/could have kids.
Its not that i have my life 'planned' thats how it pretty much has to be if i want to achieve whatever career i end up going for, im going to have to spend x amount of years at uni etc.
And ideally i would like to be reasonably financially stable as i know people juggling university with children and im struggling as it is without children, so in my eyes the two can't mix and my OH agrees we should finish/get into a career before starting a family.
Sadly i was never the sociable sort and im struggling to find university 'fun' and its just a way to get into the job i want, im considering nursing but now a days you need a degree for that too.

My perception of 'average age to have a child' may be a bit warped by the limited company i share lol so i apologise if i offended anyone by potentially implying 30 was old!

All very admirable things to feel and do. Don't put so much pressure on yourself though. Just get your degree (it's a means to an end so try not to worry that you're not enjoying college), and see how the job-hunting goes. You're so young. Surely you find some of your life fun??

suki1001

I had my first at 25. Boy am I glad I didn't wait till I was older. All my friends were over 30, panicking if their babies might have downs etc and they suffered more health problems.

Not saying this is true of all over 30's but it happens more the older you get.

My sister planned her life, when she got to her 30's then found conceiving a real problem. She was used to fulfilling her expectations. It set her back 3 years.

I can see why people wait, but I also think people knock you if you have them earlier. I had no debts and both me and oh were working. I got to be a full time mum and no we didn't scrounge and haven't scrounged off the state. Mine are now 10 and 8, I am 36, I am glad I have done the baby stage, it's hard work.

HappyMJ

SmallL wrote: »

And ideally i would like to be reasonably financially stable as i know people juggling university with children and im struggling as it is without children, so in my eyes the two can't mix and my OH agrees we should finish/get into a career before starting a family.

It also depends on how you describe struggling. I could easily afford kids on any wage/salary. Child benefit tops you up another £20.30 a week. If you don't work and don't get work related benefits such as maternity pay then you can get child tax credits. If you haven't purchased a house and are renting then housing benefit pays the rent.

So just have them whenever you want. As you will have a good education you should be able to repay any loans whenever you decide to go to work full time.

LandyAndy

We had our first child when I was 37 (married before) and MrsLA was 29. Definitely, definitely not too late. That was 18 years ago.

Redouble

I was in a financially secure career at 19, became pregnant unexpectedly, but am now happily married with 3 children, and left my career to be a mum.
It was not my plan, but hey... The best laid plans and all that!
(and my husbands career pays for our children and lifestyle, for those who seem to think that unless you have kids at 35 you have only had children to get benefits , although the state does effectively fund our house, due to it being a forces quarter. )

rachel90

Wow. No mention of a partner at all in your post OP. As some others have said, what if you don't meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with until you're 30? Don't just settle with someone so that your ideal plan can come together. Personally I think you should concentrate on your studying, you have obviously worked hard to get where you are. You have plenty of time to worry about having a family!
I'm 21, met my OH when I was 18 but didn't start a relationship until the following year. We got engaged a year after being together. We have been together 3 years in May. Currently saving as much as we possibly can to enable us to move out. No plans for babies yet, we want to move out and get married first. It all costs enormous amounts of money. We're hoping to get married in 2014 but theres nothing to say that will happen! Neither of us went to Uni, we have both worked full time since leaving school. I just wish I'd started saving all that time.

daisiegg

rachel90, remember to read the whole thread - OP has since posted that she has been with her partner for 5 years

Cherry_Bomb

Is there ever a right time?

Instead of doing the career 1st family 2nd I did it the other way round. Had DS at 19. When to uni at 23. I'm now 25 and will (hopefully) qualify this August when I'll be 26. If I have anymore kids it won't be until I'm at least 30 which imho isn't even close to being 'too old'

Having a baby when I was still a teenager was definitely not part of my plan but what can you do! You just make it work no matter how old you are or what stage in your life you're at.

sassyblue

Peater wrote: »

Your sense of responsibility is refreshing but alas that doesn't seem to stop 90% of people attempting to overpopulate our island. Hey, pop one out now and that nice Mr.Cameron will give you a house too! Get busy!

I would stop believing the papers if l were you, if any woman thinks having a baby is a step to getting a free house, free money and living the life of riley, they're seriously misguided. :rotfl:

OP l wouldn't plan too hard.... we got married and planned when to start a family only it didn't happen. We started trying when we were 30 and 31, l was 38 when our son was born (after fertility treatment) and l'm so glad we've had him later rather than earlier. We're not bothered about nights out, clubbing has long lost it's sparkle! we do things as a family.

We were lucky in that we have a small mortgage compared to most these days as we were on the housing ladder in the early 90's. My advice would be you never know what is going to happen and there'll never be a 'right' time to have a baby in that you'll have everything you want and enough money, just go with the flow and life will work itself out.

xx