Urgh, Demanding Bridesmaid...

neneromanova

I've taken all your opinions in and I'm just going to leave those dresses. I've sent her this one to see what she thinks. http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Midi-Dress-in-Chiffon/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1764076&cid=8799&Rf-200=9&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Neonpink

I just want it ticked in my box now so I can crack on with invitations, ties, flowers...

Thanks Everyone

mildred1978

neneromanova wrote: »

I just want it ticked in my box now so I can crack on with invitations, ties, flowers...

Thanks Everyone

take it from an old married - nobody will care whether your invitations match the bridesmaid's knickers

We had a pink theme with baby and hot pink. As long as it was pink I didn't care what matched.

VfM4meplse

74jax wrote: »

I agree with megan on the colour, September would be nice with a dark pink colour.

I would not recommend a strong colour or anything too fitted for a size 20 bridesmaid, it won't be flattering and she will just stand out more.

MrsShawToBe

pbny24 wrote: »

that's the exact reason she won't want strapless,pastel colours or ruching.

Excuse me? I'm a size 20/22 and I would love to wear that dress. Usually I won't wear anything but strapless but my wedding dress has a removable strap which I find stunning so will wear that.

I also love pastel colours and ruching/ruffles.


I also wouldn't feel uncomfortable next to a size 8 bridesmaid. I stand near different sized people every day and don't feel any different!


I think its very rude and patronizing to assume things like someone doesn't like something because of their size.

Maybe its true that she's not comfortable in that dress at her size, but its not nessesserily the reason. Maybe she doesn't like the colour. Maybe she doesn't like the length, or the sparkle.


Good luck in your search though OP.

MrsShawToBe

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I would not recommend a strong colour or anything too fitted for a size 20 bridesmaid, it won't be flattering and she will just stand out more.

It depends where it is fitted. I am quite slim at the top so fitted tops are very flattering for me.

However round the tummy/hips, not flattering.

And for strong colours, I love dark pinks etc, and I find them flattering for me.


Everyones different.

spoonymoose

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Who would be a bridesmaid? I would rather be a guest, help the bride in any way I can and choose what I want to wear.

I would LOVE my sister to say this to my face instead of behind my back and then I can continue with my wedding!

________________________

OP, basically you are never going to get everyone to agree, even if you are paying. I'm still have problems with my sister, I took into account how a) she's not a size 8, b) she is blessed in the chest department c) the material she wanted to me to wear at her wedding HOWEVER she doesn't like it!

I bought the dress for the other 3 and have left her... When she decides she wants to sort out a dress or say what VfM4meplse has said then I'm not talking about it.

wanchai_2

neneromanova wrote: »

I've taken all your opinions in and I'm just going to leave those dresses. I've sent her this one to see what she thinks. http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Midi-Dress-in-Chiffon/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1764076&cid=8799&Rf-200=9&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=200&sort=-1&clr=Neonpink

I just want it ticked in my box now so I can crack on with invitations, ties, flowers...

Thanks Everyone

Oooh, I like that dress in the mink colour - I have a christening coming up, might buy it for that Hope your BMs like it!

mildred1978 wrote: »

take it from an old married - nobody will care whether your invitations match the bridesmaid's knickers

We had a pink theme with baby and hot pink. As long as it was pink I didn't care what matched.

I agree - our wedding has a vintage theme and I love mismatching bits!!! Our invitations will have elements of muted colours in them, but they won't be matching the BM dress exactly. Which is fine.

VfM4meplse wrote: »

I would not recommend a strong colour or anything too fitted for a size 20 bridesmaid, it won't be flattering and she will just stand out more.

I wouldn't recommend anything too tight/clingy for a larger BM, but a well-fitted and structured dress will be more flattering than a shapeless, loose 'tent' style.

mildred1978

What looks good colourwise will depend on the colouring of the wearer. Hot pink will make me look washed out, so I don't wear it. Similarly I'd never wear mint green, yellow, orange or turquoise.

pbny24

I'm not trying to be patronising or rude. I was a stone heavier when trying on dresses and ruching made me feel uncomfortable and feel bigger. Maybe it's not the reason she doesn't like it, it would be if it was me and was putting myself in her shoes, but maybe it is and might be worth taking into consideration, I think any size you are as well pastels can be difficult to pull off, that's why I suggested going shopping together to try some styles together and go from there.dresses I found online that I thought would suit bridesmaids completely didn't and it was obvious when they felt uncomfortable on. It was the same with choosing my dress it's so difficult to tell online, Whilst I agree with the comments it's your day etc, I only agree to an extent- i'd be unhappy if they felt uncomfortable for whatever reason. At least the bridesmaid has been honest and said she didn't like it which means another style op can rule out if she wishes it will all come together eventually with styles and colours they can both agree on without any awkwardness.
This one is nice
http://m.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10001_10001_008010610007_-1?breadcrumb=Home%7EWomen%7EOccasion+%26amp%3B+evening+wear

minerva_windsong

I have to admit the first one isn't a dress I'd choose myself and I would probably go for the one they'd picked out of the two, but if it's what you want your bridesmaids to wear and you're paying for it then I think you should be the one who chooses. The second one is a lot nicer but my concern with that would be that because the neck's quite high it would make my boobs look like a shelf, although I suppose you could get the neck adjusted.

I was very lucky in that I got quite a bit of say in my dress for one sister's wedding (where I was the only adult bridesmaid), but I didn't get a choice of dress for my other sister's wedding when I was one of three bridesmaids - we all looked at different ones but ultimately my sister made the decision, and I would have worn whatever she'd put me in because it was her wedding.

Have you been with your bridesmaids to try dresses on? I wonder if that might help to get closer, ie if you pick something like the one you like and something like the one they like, and try and work towards something in the middle. Especially if you haven't decided on specific shades of pink yet.